View Full Version : Mfks World Cup diary

31-05-2014, 07:18 PM
For Militia
Proudly sponsored by Tooheys New_ FOR THE LOVE OF KALE

Day 1

Got up Thursday 29th May with a million things to do. Surprisingly knocked them over at a good rate and come just after midday was being picked up by the old man from the Kotaro Sth abode and dropped at Cardiff trained station. A show of public affection later and I was on my way.

Decided to be clever and move along the platform to be at the front of the train.

City Rail 1-Mfks 0
They installed a railing to prevent access so I had to go back

City Rail 2 Mfks 0
They then ****ed me by only putting 4 carriages on so I had to walk 70 metres back to the train anyway

City Rail 3 Mfks 0
Train packed and I spent the entire trip to Central sharing a seat with my suitcase rammed up my arse
My fault for not taking into account it being dole day and Gypos being on the prowl

City Rail 4 Mfks 0
They made us arrive on Platform 4 and had parked a train in front of my train so had a nice long walk to the connecting airport train on platform 23

Got to 23 and straight on and 15mins later at Airport. Come up escalators and straight out door to hotel 60m away. Must say impressed by soundproof of hotel as you couldn’t hear the planes unless you went outside on the balcony

Spent the night familiarising myself with my luggage and downloading copious amounts of free porn thanks to the free WiFi bandwidth

Did duck out for a feed at Ronald McDonald’s as I wasn’t interested in paying $40-$50at the restaurant hotel for a main.
Whilst at the airport did a bit of reconnaissance work to clarify where I needed to head the next morning.

Tucked in early at 9pm for sleep

31-05-2014, 07:28 PM
Making of the next thread of the year. Look forward to the blog.

31-05-2014, 08:03 PM
For Militia
Proudly sponsored by Tooheys New_ FOR THE LOVE OF KALE

Got up Thursday 30th May at 5:30am. Slept really well
Couple of moments of contemplation about wtf I have got myself into
Today is Flights 1-2-3 of my 30flight odyssey
It was 31 until TAM cancelled 1leg of a 2 legged flight and I had to rebook it to 1direct

So good news is I am a good chance of appearing on a future episode of Air Crash Investigations

After showering and getting luggage sorted went downstairs for breakfast
Fantastic spread and thoroughly enjoyed it

Checked out of hotel and made my way to airport at 6:30am

Glad I came early 80mins in check in

Got through and then hit the duty free and picked up liquor

Then wandered down to gate and awaited flight

1 hour after flight was to leave we were strapping ourselves in. Scored an aisle seat next to some good looking girl

3hours later and we were in NZ Auckland airport. The stopover should have been 90mins but due to our late arrival was squeezed back to hour
Got off plane and had to go get scanned again for readmittance into airport. One machine going a plane load of people and my bladder on the floor. Made it thru before wetting myself

Decided to go buy some water and had issues with card being rejected. So much for Visa being accepted everywhere. Glad I have 6 different cards cause was able to sort with another

Anyway back on the flight to Santiago Chile.11.5hours of suffering. Took in a few movies Oceans 11 Friday Night Lights read the book before movie is garbage in comparison.
Watched Superbad. Is it just me or does that McLovin bloke remind you of a notorious Jets fan???
Hello SD
Got some sleep in 2-3hours was pretty impressed by that. Not usually able to sleep in public. Mainly cause catching trains through Gypo land may see anything happen.
Arriving in Santiago didn’t see much of the mountains you spoke of WLG I think I was on the wrong side. Anyway touchdown in Santiago. Airport was a blur as me and about 20 other Aussies made mad dashes for connecting flights. Due to the earlier delays we arrived in Santiago well after our planned time
20mins after landing and I was seated on another plane. This time bound for Montevideo Uruguay.
No particular reason why I am going to Montevideo except when I was booking it was same price to go as Buenos Aires so thought why not spend 3-4days checking it out and take the ferry across to BA
Did spot the mountains you spoke of WLG they are impressive indeed. When I fly back into Chile will try and get window seat to fully appreciate.
Spent most of the flight in a daze not asleep but not far from it.
110mins later was landing in Montevideo.
Nice new airport. Slapped on my Socceroos 2006jersey. Got some filthy looks but no one spat on me as I was leaving airport.
Went to ATM got cash. Met a kind Uruguayan native who chased me down to give me my Credit Card I had left in the machine.

Taxi to hotel. Driving here is insane 3cars in 2lanes etc Survived and checked in to hotel.
Nice digs though I think they photo shopped some of the web site photos

Went for a stroll down the local shops. Tried giving the cashier Uruguay $20 for my purchase 0.91c Australian. Language was fun as I know little Spanish but got there in the end with my giving him $130uruguay $6Aud for my drinks
Skyped home to report in. Bit of a browse on internet before hitting the hay at 8pm local time

31-05-2014, 08:08 PM
So good news is I am a good chance of appearing on a future episode of Air Crash Investigations

LOL'd IRL :roflz:

31-05-2014, 08:17 PM
The comment about wearing his 06 was good as well.

31-05-2014, 08:34 PM
This is brilliant.

31-05-2014, 09:00 PM
This is brilliant.

You wait to hear you here todays one

The bidet:roflz:

31-05-2014, 09:41 PM
MFKS for Presidente...... Viva la Revolution...vamos vamos

31-05-2014, 11:08 PM


31-05-2014, 11:52 PM
favourite thread. carn MK keep those details coming

01-06-2014, 11:33 AM
hail the one true god

01-06-2014, 12:49 PM
For Militia
Proudly sponsored by Tooheys New_ FOR THE LOVE OF KALE

Got up Saturday 31st May at 4:00am. Slept really well
Feel rather well considering yesterday’s ordeal.Not much activity in Montevideo at this hour of the day and not wanting to deal with the pissed riff raff decided to stay in until it got light
Spent the morning until 7am posting the previous posts playing with the new camera. Searching for something I seem to have lost and taking care of normal daily needs
Let’s get on to the bidet toilet situation. I eyed the thing suspiciously the night before as I have never seen one before. I knew what it was and its purpose was and was not looking forward to it.

In South America if you were not aware they do not flush toilet paper as the plumbing pipe work is not up to it. You throw the toilet paper in a bin next to the shitter and use a bidet to finish the cleaning process

Feeling the need to take the morning constitution went and familiarised myself with the bidet.

Turned it on. Water struck me fair in the face.
Next go stood further back and this time hit the ceiling.

Fiddled about and got the required pressure.
Anyway dump completed and arse hole poised over the bidet for cleaning. Didn’t aim up well and straight over the front of my shirt and chin
Finally got the job done and straight in the shower
From now on it is shit and straight to the shower to save ****ing time

Anyway strolled down to breakfast
Interesting concepts they have here a hell of a lot of pastries cakes etc.

Most of the meat is cured and a little spicy.

Toast ham and eggs a croissant like thing loaded with sugar!!!and some juice and I was set to go.

Headed back upstairs grabbed bag and hit the road to explore.

Decided map wasn’t needed and went for a stroll along the Rambler which is the roadway that runs along the Rio Plate waterfront in Montevideo.
First thing I noticed on my stroll was the footpaths here are a ****ing nightmare. Uneven broken missing pieces etc
Obviously no one sues when they break their legs here because if they did this place would be an Ambulance Chasing Lawyers wet dream

Rather odd that there are very few shops or businesses along the water front. I walked about 10km into town and barely seen any shops

Rather odd that they also allowed so much housing estate developments close to the water front. Jeff McCloy out to check this place out once he has finished bulldozing the Newy CBD

Spotted a stadium belonging to Defensor FC a local club. Deviated off my course for a gander. Place was closed so only got a look from outside
One of other thing about this place is there are nearly as many dogs as people. FMD I must have seen more dogs today than I have in the rest of my life

After 3hours strolling along the waterfront I had arrived at the Port area of town. Decided to turn back and retrace my steps. Now I am estimating it was 10km but it was definitely more Anyway I still had to retrace my steps. By 2pm I made it back to hotel.

See you don’t need maps. Had little ****ing idea where I was most of the day but made it back

Decided after my stroll to have a nap. What should have been 90mins turned in to 4hours when I ignored my alarm and rolled over. **** you jetlag

Anyway got up when to the local café and picked up a light snack for dinner.
Whilst there noticed in the paper headlines that Uruguay had played at the Centenario overnight. ****ing pissed as it is only a few kms from here and would have loved to take a game in there

A bit of research indicates they have another game just after I leave Uruguay
Bit of research also indicates Argentina play at their infamous ground Monumental v Trinidad and Tobago when I am in town

Anyway quiet night in tonight. Got the idiot box going straight to the Football channel

Going to hit the sights tomorrow. Going on one of those open topped bus tours. Hopefully be a bit better adjusted to the time zone

01-06-2014, 03:30 PM
Love it!
I'm on kale watch for you today!

01-06-2014, 05:42 PM
Need a new thread rating system.
5 stars isnt enough for this one.
Keep em coming Member.

01-06-2014, 06:01 PM
Bidet = tears streaming from my bonce

01-06-2014, 06:43 PM
Never before have I wanted to be sprayed in the face with water meant for my arse more than I do now.

01-06-2014, 09:14 PM
Top thread MFKS

Add pictures on here too

01-06-2014, 11:58 PM
lord and master

02-06-2014, 07:35 AM
The best

02-06-2014, 08:57 AM
Brilliant stuff MFKS, will be my most visited thread over the next month or so!

02-06-2014, 05:25 PM
:roflz: :roflz: :roflz: :roflz: :roflz:

02-06-2014, 09:20 PM
Mate you should be a comedian,sounds like your having a ball.

02-06-2014, 09:40 PM
Mate you should be a comedian,sounds like your having a ball.

He IS a Comedian with capital letter and next chapter.......please please please

02-06-2014, 10:01 PM
For Militia
Proudly sponsored by Tooheys New_ FOR THE LOVE OF KALE

Got up Sunday June 1st at 4:30am after 5hours sleep. Loving this jet lag not.
Spent the morning trawling the net as it ain’t light here until 7:30am. Done a bit of research on Montevideo
Avoided the bidet this morning with the dump>>> shower plan.

Anyway strolled down to breakfast
The young lady down there speaks English and was most impressed I had made the effort to learn my room number on Spanish and offer up a few sentences of Spanish rather than the awkward confrontation we had the morning before until she worked out I wasn’t retarded and didn’t speak much Spanish and she could converse with me in English

Toast ham and eggs a croissant like thing loaded with a passionfruit custard infusion and some juice and I was set to go.
Headed back upstairs grabbed bag and hit the road to explore.

As the bus tour started at 9pm the other end of town my plan was to meet up with it part way around as it took 2.5hours to do the circuit.
Not interested in getting the taxi there as at $49usa to get from airport to hotel 30mins not expecting the 15min trip to be value.
Decided to head off to the Estadio Centenario home stadium of Uruguay NT where Australias WC dream of 2002was dashed and our dreams were kept alive for Aloisi to send us batshit crazy in 2005

Once again set off with no map. Just a rough idea where I was to go. Good hour walk concerned I was heading the wrong way but stayed on course and found it.
First impressions is it is a shithole. Place looks very old and rundown. Makes the Chicken Coop at Southy look like Wembley.
Lot of rubbish left lying around the place which seems to be a common theme in Uruguay. Need a Clean Up Australia day here.

Though they ain’t helped as every street seems to have a dumpster which seems to be the communal whiz bin. Every so often some local who has roots to Gosford comes along and goes scavenging through the thing throwing stuff out and taking bits and pieces with them

As the stadium was locked up took a walk around the perimeter got a few photos etc
Tell you what it must be a bit of a stretch when the local clubs Penarol and Nacional have their classico here. The footpaths are broken up and plenty of stones are easily found for the rival fans to hurl at player one another etc

Anyway unable to find the bus stop for the tour and still having some time headed to the location of the next stop which I had a rough idea where it was as I had seen it earlier. Located at the local shopping centre I made my way there as it serves 2purposes. One the bus stop is there and Two I can find toilets there.
Hasn’t been the easiest thing to do finding a toilet here. Basically I just don’t know where to look. So basically use the toilet before I go anywhere as I have NFI when the next opportunity will be.

Had a 40min wait for the bus arrival so walked the mall. Did see one shop that caught my attention. Store is named TITS.
Was not selling what I was expecting but ladies clothes

Anyway bus arrived and picked me up. 15mins later we were at the first stop. Here I had to get out and pay and then await the bus departure in 30mins. After paying when for a wander around Mercado del Puerto a market area. Being a Sunday the place was full of people with various wares of goods. Had a good browse and jumped on the bus.
Bus then proceeded to take you on tour of Montevideo. Down the good streets and down the bad. Past various old monuments statues etc
Went for 2.5hours. Took plenty of photos and worked out which spots to head back to.
Whilst on the open top bus the temperature plummeted to 12.C and by the time it got back to the shopping centre I just wanted out from the cold wind.
Add in the exposure to diesel fumes FFS nearly every car runs on diesel here and it is filthy diesel smell as well. Sitting in the open top bus you get a good dose of it.

Decided to go get some lunch. Wandered back in the shopping centre and this is where life gets pretty retarded. Now I have spent very little of my US $200 I got upon arrival. I am also having a hard time understanding the pricing here. What is written seems to require an extra zero upon payment which confuses the **** out of me cause it ain’t the base 10 money system we are used to.

Anyway by this stage I am getting confused as to how much money I have and my $u 1000 peso note don’t look like going far. Not wanting to look like a dick unable to meet the bill walked out with nothing. Anyway got back to hotel and checked out value of money. This $U 1000 is worth about Aud$40 add in I had 2more of the suckers in my hidden pouch and I am sitting on $US 120-$140

Being that prices are comparable marginally cheaper than home when you factor in exchange rates well I could have bought 10-15meals

Anyway decided then to get an early dinner. Found a Italian pizza shop 2blocks away and ordered up. Got the Italian as it was the only thing I could read the ingredients of. Ham Cheese Tomato and Pesto

Basically the bloke baked it after putting mozzarella on it. Then pulled it out and layered squares of ham and tomato slices and then threw it back in
No sauce and a bit under cooked compared to back home but for about Aud$20 I had dinner. Whilst waiting the bloke kept feeding me a parmesan garlic bread slice and coke on the house.

Anyway took the thing back to hotel and 3 slices later I was full. Quite nice and tasty.

In the fridge for seconds later on

Anyway still feeling the effects of jet lag pushed through it and stayed up to 8pm before hitting the hay

02-06-2014, 10:28 PM
Lot of rubbish left lying around the place which seems to be a common theme in Uruguay. Need a Clean Up Australia day here.

My LOL moment for today's entry :-D

02-06-2014, 10:40 PM
this is getting ridiculous. I am reading slower so i can saver the moments. :lulzturtle:

02-06-2014, 10:55 PM
"Every so often some local who has roots to Gosford comes along and goes scavenging through the thing throwing stuff out and taking bits and pieces with them"

Gosford cousins in U.R.Gay. Hahaha.....

02-06-2014, 11:06 PM
hey MFKS is there heaps of gronks playing bongos and shit in uruguay? having a bongo or guitar appears to be the nike Tn of being a south american lad

02-06-2014, 11:25 PM
This thread is already the highlight of the whole World Cup

03-06-2014, 12:07 AM
For The Member:

I have been terribly busy of late and only just stumbled across this thread now.

Reading this has definitely made my week :rof:

Take care :wub:


03-06-2014, 07:24 AM
Great thread mfks. You'll be happy to hear that in Santiago you can flush your TP. No bidet encountered (yet).
Did you see the group of 3 Australian female supporters on our flight? Two were average but the other had a pretty top notch rack

03-06-2014, 07:36 AM
Great thread mfks. You'll be happy to hear that in Santiago you can flush your TP. No bidet encountered (yet).
Did you see the group of 3 Australian female supporters on our flight? Two were average but the other had a pretty top notch rack

I think that was the bird sitting next to me and her 2friends were in front. They were flying through to Sao Paulo

You weren't one of the boys in the Socceroos dressing gowns were you???

03-06-2014, 07:41 AM
hey MFKS is there heaps of gronks playing bongos and shit in uruguay? having a bongo or guitar appears to be the nike Tn of being a south american lad No Q Man

Have not seen a bongo let alone a guitar at all

Though the locals are big into the designer brands. The shops are full of up market "Name" gear

Me I have been dressing down wearing jeans and plain t shirts trying to go low key and not stand out so much as a Gringo.

These ****ers though have all the latest Nike designer gear on.

03-06-2014, 08:31 AM
Member, is there a pool at the hotel? Apparently SD was too embarrassed to ask because he knows you're busy.

03-06-2014, 08:32 AM
No Q Man

Have not seen a bongo let alone a guitar at all

Though the locals are big into the designer brands. The shops are full of up market "Name" gear

Me I have been dressing down wearing jeans and plain t shirts trying to go low key and not stand out so much as a Gringo.

These ****ers though have all the latest Nike designer gear on.

So, by dressing down are you standing out like a Gringo?

03-06-2014, 08:52 AM
I think that was the bird sitting next to me and her 2friends were in front. They were flying through to Sao Paulo

You weren't one of the boys in the Socceroos dressing gowns were you???
Ah nice work! Nope, those blokes probably got mugged as soon as they got off the plane.
We are a group of 3 blokes all about 30, one has a pretty decent beard. We were sitting in row 21 I think, so just in front of the divider thing halfway along.

03-06-2014, 09:06 AM
This is glorious, Member. Even with our eventual trouncing, I have something to look forward to.

03-06-2014, 09:24 AM
Ah nice work! Nope, those blokes probably got mugged as soon as they got off the plane.
We are a group of 3 blokes all about 30, one has a pretty decent beard. We were sitting in row 21 I think, so just in front of the divider thing halfway along.

The big guy who was bald and wearing Australia shirt???

03-06-2014, 11:19 PM
The big guy who was bald and wearing Australia shirt???
nah I think they were sitting a couple rows in front of us. None of us had aus gear on...

04-06-2014, 01:16 AM
:pissup:For Militia
Proudly sponsored by Tooheys New_ FOR THE LOVE OF KALE

Got up Monday June 2nd at 5:30am after a good nights sleep. Still not impressed with these beyond sparrow fart wake ups.That's thelatest so far I have slept to

Avoided the bidet this morning with the dump>>> shower plan.

Anyway strolled down to breakfast and today decided to try something different. I seem to have been living the last few days on a diet of ham bread cheese eggs tomato orange juice and coca cola so today am gonna shake it up.

Decided to spike the OJ with some Johnny Walker. Good heart starter for the day.
Then on to the grub and dabbled in the muesli. Topped this with a serve of fruit salad and couldn’t find the milk so threw strawberry yoghurt on.
****ing fantastic.
Then onto some of the pastries another OJ chaser of Johnny and I was ready to hit the ground running

A 10minute walk found me down at the local shops where I knew I could get a taxi. I could have got my hotel to call one but feel the urge to do some walking from time to time just to stretch the legs a bit

Anyway get the cab down to Mercado Del Puerto the starting point of the bus tour. When I got there the cabbie and I had some fun.
When he called out the price I opened the wallet up and offered him 1000pesos. From his response I could tell he wasn’t happy.

Assuming that it was gonna cost more I pulled out another 1000pesos.

The bloke wasn’t happy and stormed out the driver’s door and started to head to the passengers door to approach me.
I thought here ẃe go this ****s gonna stab me as he thinks I am shafting him.

I actually had a pile of US$ on me I was about to start offering up when he started saying Cambio Cambio.

At this point I recognised this term as they are currency exchange places.
So at this point I searched in the wallet and found smaller notes.

All of a sudden gracias was heard and he was firing money back to me.

Turns out I was trying to give him way too much and he had issues with giving me change.
FFS Stabbing avoided

Anyway got out and jumped on the next bus 10mins later. Stopped off at Independence Plaza a town square a bit bigger than a football with a big monument in it surrounded by some big old school buildings.

Felt a lot more comfortable today with it being Monday as the streets shops were a hive of activity. Then went for a 2-3km walk down to Uruguay Parliament Houses checked it and then jumped back on the tourist bus.

After about an hour made it to Tres Creuces a site with a giant cross. The area was the original site where 3 Uruguayans were murdered eons ago. It is also the site the pope appeared the first time he came to Uruguay.

That was not so much my purpose. The area has a shopping centre which doubles as a bus terminus. I needed to sort out a bus ticket as tomorrow I was leaving Montevideo for the small sea side town of Colonia to catch a ferry to Buenos Aires.
First bus company who responded to Ingles got my business. About $13Aud for a 2-3hour bus ride through the Uruguayan countryside.

After that ducked upstairs for some lunch. Ordered a chivito the Uruguayan national dish. Basically a hamburger instead of mince a steak fillet. Lettuce tomato boiled egg bacon No beetroot but did have olives capsicum and mayo on a bun.

The thing was fantastic. Was most impressed the thing held together and the bun was such that you didn’t get the bottom bit getting progressively smaller as you ate it. Came with fries and a dessert of a chocolate coated biscuit with caramel filling.

After this ducked out and lo and behold the bus was waiting for me. Took it to the Estadio Centenarío. The stadium holds a footballing museum of some acclaim. Was absolutely shattered to find the thing had closed as of today for renovation.

Walked off shattered and as I was walking by noticed one of the gates to the Stadium open. Thought **** it why not go in. Anyone stops you plead the ignorant foreigner angle.

Anyway strolled in and no one was about except for a cleaning crew. When they said hello and got back to work out came the camera as I saw this as the green light to make yourself at home.

Took a pile of photos and was just about to head out when 3blokes walked in. The 3blokes looked guilty as they were doing the same thing I had been doing. One of them started speaking Spanish and once I uttered back Ingles the 3of them broke into English.

All 3 were family dad and 2 sons of Uruguayan heritage living in England. Were in Uruguay for catching up with family before heading to Brazil for World Cup.
Anyway we got chatting and struck up a great rapport.

One of them asked me about the E&C Jets shirt I was wearing. I mentioned Heskeytime they started laughing the conversation flowed and nearly 3hours later I was leaving the Estadio Centenario with a pile of photos and great memories of the day I broke in and spent the arvo in the place chatting away to these new amigos.

As I had missed the bus by minutes I walked back to hotel 45mins absolutely buzzing missing the museum was definitely made up for by the entry into the stadium

Settled in for the night with my left over pizza my bottle of Johnny Walker and downloaded copious amounts of porn so that Youporn won’t be far away from banning my IP as they will think I am a leech on their bandwidth

04-06-2014, 07:33 AM
Member plz don't get stabbed, this forum couldn't handle the loss of you and this thread.

04-06-2014, 08:11 AM
Ingles! Superb

04-06-2014, 09:31 AM
Was pointing out to some thugball bogans that you can go anywhere in the world and strike up a conversation on the Jets using the name Heskey.

Try starting up a conversation overseas with the name Andrew Johns - "the greatest footy player who eva lived".

It seems the jetlag has not affected your masturbatory tendencies Member ? One of the great joys of solo travel.

04-06-2014, 11:34 AM
For Militia
Proudly sponsored by Tooheys New_ FOR THE LOVE OF KALE

Got up Tuesday 3rd June at 5:30am feeling like shit. Me and my good mate Johnny Walker are getting very close to not being on speaking terms.
On another note what the **** is it with these ridiculous hours to get up. Ffs the jetlag has passed and I still wake up for some reason at these ridiculous hours.
Anyway broke out the berocca and some hydra lite to soothe the nerves. Would seriously cut off my left testicle at present for a can of mother.

Anyway straightened up the belongings made sure I had my passport and bags packed and headed down for breakfast.
Decided to once again dabble in the muesli fruit salad and strawberry yoghurt. No OJ Johnny chasers today
Went back for seconds and then tucked into a few of the croissant pastry things

Went upstairs grabbed my gear headed back down and checked out. Paid the bill of US$300 for the 4nights. Was rather pissed at this as I tried booking accommodation and paying for it up front to save this issue. The only other places I have to pay is for my week in Chile but that is a private apartment I am renting from some English bloke who lives in Chile and the other one was for a stay in Belo Horizonte at a price so far in my favour it wasn’t worth saying no to

Concierge called the taxi I waited on the kerb for 4mins and taxi fronted. Pretty certain my cabbie was trying to take advantage of me. Pretty certain he took a path to Tres Cruces Terminal where he could maximise the red lights. I was certain of it when he drove at about 5kmph when he had a green light and was praying it would turn red before he got through

Anyway bill came in at 183pesos I gave him 200pesos as why the **** do I need the shrapnel weighing me down.
Bloke was stoked with his tip of about 80c AUD

The entire taxi ride cost me AUD$9 something.
The ploy of going slow barely cost me a payphone call. FFS

Anyway waited at the Bus Terminal for the chariot to arrive. Now there is one ****ed up place. I haven’t seen that many rough looking retarded dero ****s in the one place since the Mariners got a crowd over 10k
Anyway survived long enough to see my chariot arrive. What a bus it was to.

Seats of comfort space aplenty and more inviting than business class on a plane. ****s even had WiFi on there. For $13 for the 3hour trip let’s just say I got my money’s worth. City Rail should be disbanded and trips to Smurfs Gypos and RBB rent a crowd should be on these thiñgs

Had planned to put the headphones on and listen to some music but didn’t need to as the driver had the stereo going. Just as we were driving through some Montevideo shithole suburb that has a striking resemblance to Woy Woy the Pink Floyd classic All in all you’re just Inbred and poor belted out. How fitting.

Anyway the reason why I was taking the 3hour bus ride 1hour ferry ride was to see a bit of the countryside. Meh I have now come to the conclusion you have seen one cow paddock you have seen them all. Bus took forever to get there as we stopped and let every 3rd village hillbilly on and off. Finally made it and took off to the ferry terminal. Swish building.

Could have went and had a look around the town as I had 2-3hours to kill but nursing a kick arse hang over decided against it and invested in some R&R.
Whilst waiting the ferry arrived and I spotted some bloke carrying a Jets backpack. No sign of the fridge magnet though.

Must have left it at home

Undone my jumper to reveal my Jets shirt took the bloke a while to spot me before he came over to say hello. In hindsight would have been easier to get his attention by launching into a rousing rendition of WE HATE COAST SCUM but considering this place offers free cavity searches seemed wise to keep it low key.

Boys were over for the WC and had left Argentina heading for Uruguay where as I was doing the reverse. So we swapped war stories and advice before departing.
Anyway the time came for the ferry and what a joy immigration was. Stamped Out by Uruguayan official who passed it to the bloke sitting next to him who stamped you in to Argentina. Then to top it off no metal detectors. No XRays etc up to the waiting room to await summoning on board.

That time duly arrived and I boarded the biggest ferry I have ever seen. The thing comfortably seated 400plus with room to walk around canteen TVs etc Tell you what that boat can really motor totally missed us taking off we were in the dock and the next thing I knew we were kms off the coast. The thing was doing well over 80kmph

Before you knew it the coast line of Argentina appeared in under the hour. Got off and this time had to put luggage through the X Ray machine. Pick up the other side and straight out the door and in to Argentina.

Decided against the taxi as my hotel was about 7blocks away so set off with luggage on foot. Place was dead set jumping. Obviously rush hour but straight away could tell I was in a more modern happening place. Must note the footpaths here are not much better.

Found hotel and checked in. Am here for 3nights on my own so am absolutely baffled why they gave me a room with 2queen beds.

Went for a stroll down Florida St which was packed with shoppers and had a browse. That Mess bloke must be huge here cause his face is everywhere for some reason. Bought a 600ml coke for Aud$2 and that is with money at the official exchange rate. Can’t wait to go get money at the unofficial exchange rate which is nearly 75%more.

Headed in to a restaurant and ordered the Milanesa which appears to be crumbed beef. Got the Napolitano touch to it so it was basically a crumbed beef parmy. Price came in at about Aud$11

Wandered back to hotel for early night.

04-06-2014, 12:31 PM

Fridge magnet :rof::rof::rof::brr:

04-06-2014, 01:41 PM
Where were the Jets fans from, Member? Did you happen to discuss the quality of the season ticket cards this year?

:roflz: fridge magnet.

04-06-2014, 04:18 PM
What about the thickness of the member's cards as well? That was a hot topic early last year.

05-06-2014, 11:33 PM
Sit tight next post might be a day or 2 away
Internets is tucked and Buenos Aires is awesome

06-06-2014, 12:15 AM
muy bien

07-06-2014, 01:53 AM
For Militia
Proudly sponsored by Tooheys New_ FOR THE LOVE OF KALE

Got up Wednesday 4th June at 7:15am. Finally cracked it sleeping through to a sensible hour. I have inherited another bidet toilet system but it appears my toilet will flush toilet paper. Wasn’t feeling the need to go but will give a test run when the time arrives.

Only problem with test run is there is no time for failure or full scale testing. I get my assumptions wrong and I have a pile of shit and paper floating about a blocked up toilet that you don’t want to have to go to reception to explain

Hotel departed after taking caring of other formalities decided to head out to explore. Greeted by an overcast day I headed out to find breakfast as it isn’t included as part of my hotel stay.$50 a night just no breakfast.

Cappuccino and 2 ham and cheese toasted sangas at McDonalds for about $5 and was on my way again.

Wandered down Florida St the main shopping hub. Not here for shopping but selling. The current official exchange rate is about 6 or 7 Argentina Peso to $1US. Due to issues in the Argentinian economy with inflation the locals would rather save money in US$ as the currency retains better value. Due to the side effects the government has banned access to US$ to the locals. They can get it but the bureaucracy is at such a level it makes it not worth the effort

Anyway the locals have their own little black market thing going on. They will give better rates of pesos to dollars at significantly higher rates than the official rate. Only problem is the thing is illegal but like prostitution condoned as it serves a purpose.

Guess who had a wallet full of US$ for this purpose??? I knew I was getting done by Travelex but wanted a few pesos for dinner drinks etc when I arrived at Buenos Aires. Now was the time to unload

Anyway walked the mall to suss out the scene. Trying to pick my mark. A few big time charlies avoided as they looked like SD dressed to the nines for a night on the tiles at Finnegan

Avoid the big blokes as you want at least a fighting chance if things turn sour and they try to rob you. Avoid the women on the basis it is a tough game they are in so they obviously have balls or muscle nearby.

After being approached at least 200 times with the cry of cambio cambio cambio /change money sir I was ready. Picked a bloke I thought I could at least cover on my own in case shit turned sour.
His unknown mates were another matter and I would deal with that if it come up.

Feeling confident I at least had this blokes measure was ushered into a nearby Jewellery store. Got ushered out the back where a bloke had a desk full of cash. He asked me how much I had I showed him $200US

He offered me 11.2 pesos for it I agreed I counted mine he counted his we took our respective money I said gracias and was out the door with a pocket full of cash. Mission Accomplished

Anyway as it had started to rain I headed back to the hotel to grab the spray jacket and change shoes and socks which were soaked.
Headed back out and hit the town and headed for the Tourist Bus.

About $25 for a two day pass and I was on my way. Must say I am highly impressed with Buenos Aires. Sure it has its rough bits but it is a city much modern progressive than Montevideo and reminds me a lot of European cities. One thing I am impressed with is the air pollution. In Uruguay they seemed to use a dirty type of diesel fuel that reeked. Add in they also had these outdoor BBQ’s going everywhere there that also reeked a filthy odour. These smells are still present in BA but not even at about 5% the level in Montevideo

After about an hour we headed past Boca Juniors stadium and continued to the next stop. Here the bus just stopped 20mins later we still hadn’t gone anywhere. I just assumed the driver had gone for his lunch break or quit. Got off and spotted the bloke having a feed at the nearby restaurant. Decided **** this I am off.

Walked down the mean streets of Boca back to the Stadium. $8Aud and stadium and museum tour was mine. Was told to wait for the tour as it was about to start but needed to take a pass. If pissing was an Olympic Sport I would have made the medal podium for this effort.

Took that long by the time I come back and everyone was gone. Quick search and could not find them. When I did spot them had no idea how to get to them so just wanderedso wandered the museum til the next one. Pile of trophies and other shit. All in Spanish so bit hard to follow for me.

Q Man did spot a Boca Juniors guitar used by Lenny Kravitz. No sign of any bongoes though.

Anyway hooked up with the next tour and went round the stadium with the guide. Took heaps of photos. What was the highlight for me though was the guided tour of a toilet block. I assume it was the home dressing room coz the whole tour was in Spanish. I was absolutely dumbstruck when the guide opened a door and led me and 30others into a toilet block cubicle. WTF

Anyway tour done and dusted headed back to the bus stop. Waited 15mins and bus arrived. Once again bus went nowhere. After 15mins pulled the map out for the tour and read that it stops here for 30mins each tour. I take it someone’s mother owns the restaurant at the bus stop as there is **** all else there and this is just an elaborate plot to drum up business.

Anyway bus got going and continued tour this time around the port area. As it was getting past 4pm by now decided to get off once back near hotel and head back to hotel. When I got there I donned a scarf and another jumper as tonight there was a mission I was embarking on. By 5pm I was out the door.


07-06-2014, 07:30 AM
Mission Tonight

Argentina V Trinidad and Tobago at the Estadio Monumental Buenos Aires home of River Plate FC and 1978 World Cup Final
Have no ticket just plan on getting in one way or another. The chance to see a match in this stadium, the chance to see Argentina NT play at their spiritual home, Di Maria Aguero Lavezzi Higuain etc . Some drug ****ed midget in the shirt Maradona made famous and more importantly what could be the entire highlight of the trip seeing EPL superstar Kenwynne Jones live in the flesh.

Anyway the stadium is quite a bit north of the city centre where I am. A bit of research indicated the tourist bus went close but stopped about 10 blocks away so figured from there just follow the crowds in the blue and white and follow the stadium light glare over the neighbourhood.

Anyway bus ride was horrific traffic here is insane. Highlight though was Road Rage Argentinian style when some old **** pushing 60-70 had a running screaming argument for 5mins with our driver. The old **** then even got of the car come round the front of the bus and started banging on the bus doors whilst the arguing continued. Anyway the two protagonists didn’t go the knuckle but weren’t far away.

Anyway got to bus stop about 6pm so had just over 75mins to walk to ground get ticket get in etc.
Anyway got to the ground eventually and a lot further away than it appeared.

When I say I got to the ground I got to the Police Road Block set up about 400metres from ground.
Cops were dead set dressed for business. The posers in the NSW police riot squad are ****ing pussies compared to these ****s. Unfortunately they weren’t letting you past the checkpoint without the ticket. Problem for me was I had none.

Decided to head around the other side of stadium and see if any better luck there. Took 15mins to get there as every other side street had been fenced off and the blokes who apply the smackdown were on watch. Got there and same issue as before. No ticket no entry. Smackdown Riot squad on alert.

There goes the plan to just rock up and buy from the ticket office. On to plan B scalping.

Now this is a lot of fun when you don’t speak the language. Wandered around looking but wasn’t finding anyone selling. Observed a couple that led to nothing when it appeared people were just organising their group rather than buying tickets.

Started to look fruitless I watched as the RBB crushers poleaxe some **** who tried breaching the checkpoint without a ticket. They got medieval on this count. Don’t ever complain about police brutality Hatamoto etc cause these guys are not even amateurs to these blokes

Anyway I am wandering about back and forth and it is about 20mins to kick off. Finally heard the magic word I was after deal done for 500pesos

Now the fun part of trying to take my scalped ticket past the RBB ****up Squad. Got by.
Only to be met with another checkpoint 200metres away.

This time you are getting ä full pat down bag search and cavity search if they like. Incredibly nervous as I watched one bloke getting dragged off into the dark to an unknown fate.

Getting the pat down from the cop he gives me some instruction in Spanish I don’t comply he starts to get angrier. I utter Ingles as my mercy card before I get cracked over head with the night stick
Get out of jail card played.

Cop replies ahh Ingles where you from?? I said Australia. At this stage I realise the chances of me getting smacked out are subsiding.

So the nuggets that were poised to drop out my arse are retreating.

A few jokes about kangaroos later and he lets me through to his associate who checks my bag.
Few checkpoint 2 breached.

Next check point another pat down and search. Can hear the National anthems being played and I am still 100metres from being inside.

4th and final checkpoint and the moment of truth. Ticket Scanning time.

Time to find out whether the ticket I had scalped was genuine or whether some **** had made off with $40-$45 of my money and I was about to get in shut with the local police.

Phew in I was.

Up a thousand stairs in the dark and found out I was in the free for all sit where you can section. As I had missed the first 5 mins the good seats were taken so I made a spot where I could make my own. Ended up being up in the top tier behind the goal Argentina were defending way over past the sideline.

Place is old school ****s pissing in the stand around you, ****s smoking away even ****s smoking joints. Don't even see that type of shot at the chicken coop

Anyway settled into watch the match with Argentina making heavy work of putting away Trinidad. They missed 3-4 certainties before Ht Even Druggo no 10 missed a sitter even the Hoff would have buried

Anyway crowd were a little low key. Sort of had the feeling of watching Jets play pre season against weaker opponent. There was a degree of inevitability about the result which kept the crowd relaxed other than to call out puta (whore) any time the ref gave a call against the home team or to the poor Trinidad player that was closest to the drugged up no 10 when he went on a run and decided to hit the floor when he ran into an opponent who dared to get within 3m of him

Anyway the presence of big Kenwynne up front must have left the local Argentine side star struck as they struggled to get their flow happening. Most likely also effected the Trinidadian’s who either got nervous and misplaced passes due to being in the presence of greatness in big Kenwynne or were just shit ****s who can’t play. I am believing the former with KJ throwing everyone off kilter.

Anyway Argies finally scored on ht. Goal keeping right up there with the stellar work of Birraz and Pasfield in the F3derbies
Second half started and Mascherano scored after a ricochet off the post from a free kick taking by the Druggy no 10
A short time later it was 3-0 and the game petered out with subs shit play etc. Surprisingly the Druggo no 10 got the full 90.I wasn’t expecting it.

KJ played 85mins before getting a standing ovation not seen since the likes of Maradona in his pomp.
Anyway FT sounded and I took a pass. Wasn’t game to go through the hassle of finding anew vantage point at HT so sat tight until FT.

Lets just say a pipe running around a wall about 3 inches deep. Needless to say the floor was overflowing with water about an inch deep. Not sure what it was but glad I had tetanus shots before I came

Anyway made my way out of the stadium down 6 staircases no lights!!!! Except the illumination from the surrounding area. Made my way away from the stadium.

You blokes old enough to remember the days of Breakers Stadium and the shit fight it was getting a crowd cleared in a built up residential community will know what I mean . In those days it was 2-4k Try getting 60/70k away out of a bottle neck like that with little public transport.

Anyway the plan was to just walk as far away as I could and hail a cab when I could. Half an hour of heavy hiking accomplished and still no taxi. Asked directions from a Security guard for Retro. Bloke looked at me dumbly.

Went and bought a bottle of drink and asked the shop keeper. He pointed me on my way. Took off another 30mins hiking an every time I spotted a vacant cab it had gone before I realised.

Anyway the problem was I was walking on the wrong side of the road. Hello dickhead

So I crossed and kept walking. Got one within a few minutes. Jumped in and after 5mins started to get really worried.
Either the shopkeeper was right and my cabbie was driving me into the boon docks or the **** in the shop was pissing himself having sent some dumb **** Gringo the wrong way.

After 20 mins of driving I still had no idea where I was.
After 30 still no idea
After 40mins I recognised we were on course.

45mins after jumping in we were pulling up at my hotel. Taxi ride came to 123pesos. Felt guilty the poor bloke had driven me all over town for the grand total of $12Aud so slipped him 200pesos. The bloke gave me a book. **** knows what it is about though

Anyway down the corner store for a block of chocolate bag of chips and into bed by 12:30am

07-06-2014, 08:17 AM
Ingles has saved your bunghole again! Superb stuff MFKS

07-06-2014, 08:29 AM
Wow. Can't believe you saw Kenwynne Jones play.

Great recount member

07-06-2014, 09:54 AM
Apologies for any spelling errors coming through.

This tablet and its predictive texting shit are passing me right off.

07-06-2014, 09:55 AM
FFS can't get anything right

It should say pissing not passing


07-06-2014, 10:18 AM
Apologies for any spelling errors coming through.

This tablet and its predictive texting shit are passing me right off.

FFS can't get anything right

It should say pissing not passing


Point proved.

And we get the gist

07-06-2014, 11:40 AM
For Militia
Proudly sponsored by Tooheys New_ FOR THE LOVE OF KALE

Got up Thursday 5th June at 8:15am. Finally sleeping through to a sensible hour. Still no more bidet action.
Found out the problem now with my $50 a night hotel. No breakfast and only an hours internet. Hit Skype up the first night in BA to report into HQ and there went most of it.

Not having time to **** around headed out. More cheese and ham toasted sangas for breakfast and a cappuccino and I was ready to hit the road.

Wandered down to a plaza I want past on yesterdays bus tour and strolled it for a while. Wanted to get a jump on the bus by getting on at a later stop so as not to see the bit I seen yesterday went for a couple of km walk to find the stop. Eventually found it.

Be useful if the ****s actually put the stops on the map on accordance with where they actually are not somewhere in the general area. That would probably make sense though.

Anyway rode the bus around taking snaps of various thing. Got off at one of the stops to take some close up snaps and within 20metres of walking stepped in dog shit. Must have been a few inches fixed. Scraped off as much of the junk as I could and then went looking for the bus stop to the shorter blue route. As per usual the **** was nowhere near where it should be on the map.

Unable to locate it in time for the bus and not wanting to wait for the next one decided to head back on the other route and get near where it goes.

Got off in downtown Chinatown. Yes BA has its very own little china.

Being that it is only about 15C here add in the shade the buildings provide and these open top buses get quite cold. Being I was in downtown Chinatown I was able to locate shop selling junk for cheap. Picked up a tea cosy for about $4. Look like a dickhead though

Went looking for this bus stop and once agin unable to find it. Went **** it and walked to my destination Estadio Monumntal. Took about 40mins but made it to the stadium about 90seconds after the bus I should have got arrived. FFS

Anyway this time I was able to locate the bus stop.

Went in and found out the River Plate tour was on. Normally you can get the full tour but today were only allowed å 10min view of ground. Had a bit of time to kill so went to the first exhibit.

As I arrived the female staff member approached me in a rather hostile manner. She spotted a little sticker that was stuck on my jacket.

Got the thing when I went to Boca the day before and hadn’t noticed it. Needless to say it had to come off. Mood changed when she realised I was Australian. Spoke reasonable English and we had a good chat.

A little later on she took us into the stadium. This time we were at the other end I was the night before. Photos taken she asked me where I was the night before. I pointed out where I was and then I asked her how much tickets were for that area. Apparently 80pesos and not the 500pesos I paid the night before. Ohh well

After the stadium viewing wandered the museum before going out to the bus stop. Had to wait 20mins to next bus. 30mins after it should have arrived started walking back to another bus stop.

A good 30mins later I got there. Of course I missed the bus by minutes and had to wait 20mins for another which became 35 when it was delayed in traffic.

Finally it arrived and I could now complete the last leg down 9th July Avenue. Now this road is grand to say the extreme. The thing is about 100metres wide.

Anyway by now it was getting dark and I headed back to the hotel to raid my room safe. Needed to exchange some more money. I hadn’t run out just that I was leaving BA tomorrow and wanted a bit more for my adventures as I will be back.

Come out hotel and was standing on corner checking out restaurant when some bloke come up to me and invited me to go upstairs across the road for “****y ****y” with some slut.

I declined as I currently had more pressing matters to deal with though the offer was nice

Went down Florida St and sussed it out. Had received tip to loiter round the newsstands. Tip paid off and I was invited inside. Deal done

Now down to find a steak house. Argentina reportedly has the best steak in the world. Have to say I agree. It was mucking fantastic. The thing was BBQ over coals in an open fireplace. Only fault I have is it was over cooked a fraction for mine but despite this technical flaw it had very little effect on the quality of the meal.

Headed back to hotel for early night as I needed to straighten up my gear as I was off early in the morning to the airport

07-06-2014, 06:03 PM
Picked up a tea cosy for about $4. Look like a dickhead though


07-06-2014, 09:23 PM
nuggets were retreating :)

08-06-2014, 11:15 AM
:gent:For Militia
Proudly sponsored by Tooheys New_ FOR THE LOVE OF KALE

Got up Friday 6th June at 07:20am. Shit shower shave etc and I was checking out of hotel by 08:20
Asked reception to call me a cab.

Was told 5 mins. It is 8:40 & 20 mins have past. At least 50 cabs have gone past with the Libre light on. I am starting to wonder what’s doing. Old bloke approaches me and lets me know he is my cab driver. Escorted up the street to what looks like a private vehicle. Am concerned but push on anyway.

20mins later we had barely gone 2km as the traffic was insane

I am starting to get concerned. We finally get moving and the cabbie hits the backstreets around the docks and train yards at high speed. We were dead set doing 140kmph down some of these roads.

Anyway we made up time and it is 9:15am when we arrive at the small BA city airport. Now the ime for the bill. Was expecting a motza but came to 110pesos $11Aud

Must have been someone relo at the hotel doing jobs on the sly to top up their Old age pension
Head in check in took 30mins.

Airport is quite dated and in need of the Nick Scali touch.
Head to the gate and after 20mins find out the flight is delayed for 1hr 40mins.
I had checked the thing earlier and all was good. The fight after mine was to leave at 1320 which was when we did. Would seem they just jammed the 2 flights together to save some money.

Anyway the time come to board and found myself on a plane with about 80 members of Arizona University who were in Argentina on a junket.

Was a touch comforting to know that if Flight No 4 of 30was to crash and burn there would be wall to wall coverage on CNN FOX etc. I would be an afterthought but the wreckage footage would go global as the Yanks turn it up.

Jagged the emergency exit seating so got the extra leg room. Though for a flight of 2 hours barely needed. Bet you I ain’t that lucky when the 13.5 hour odyssey home is on.

Before you knew it we were touching down in Puerto Iguazu. Airport carved out of jungle. Bit run down to but to be perfectly fair so is Aero Pelican so we won’t cast any stones.

Anyway luggage come out quickly and the urge to take a dump was pretty pressing. Was a hell of a lot of fun taking the suitcase and carry on bag into the cubicle. The space wasn’t really there but I managed.

Anyway due to my pressing need to find the hombres banios I had walked past the taxi counter. Problem was it was in the restricted zone. Anyway approached the cabbies and found one who spoke English. Price given at 500 pesos for a 45min drive plus we had to cross border so passport stamping time.

Had a good chat with Mario my driver. His broken English my broken Spanish made for a good laugh. Mario was telling me that there were Jaguars in the jungle as we drove through the jungle. Now check out the You Tube footage of Jaguar V Caiman Crocodile. The jag stalks this 3m croc nails it and then swims back across the river with it in its jaws.

Got to the Argentine border crossing. Wind down back window and passport stamped.
Drive 5km to Brazil border crossing. On the way you drive over a bridge and you can see 3 countries Brazil and Argentina border in the middle. To the left you can see Paraguay.

Anyway get to Brazil border crossing and these guys are a bit more full on. Had arranged for Mario to take me to Argentina Iguazu Falls park the next day. Mario comes in with us. All the cabbies know the border police as they are constantly crossing between the 2 towns who are only 15-20km apart

Mario talks to his mate who gives me a stamp in to Brazil on the condition I do my paperwork tomorrow. Was actually doing both of us a favour by doing it this way.

Anyway short time later and am at hotel. Glad to finally take jumper off as it was 27C

Check in and watch the Brazil Serbia match which was on. Then head out for dinner. Bit of a rough joint so don’t go to far.
Settle in at a restaurant and get a pizza.

Give it one thing here the pizzas are simple and uncomplicated but still Tate good. The ****s back home just over complicate it trying to put some fancy hit on it.

Back to hotel to watch Socceroos game and then hit the hay at 11pm

08-06-2014, 03:27 PM
Airport is quite dated and in need of the Nick Scali touch.

Haha, legend

09-06-2014, 07:42 AM
For Militia
Proudly sponsored by Tooheys New_ FOR THE LOVE OF KALE

Got up Saturday 7th June at 07:20am. Off back into Argentina today to see the Iguazu Waterfalls.

For those not in the know these are the 2nd biggest in the world behind Victoria in Africa. The world renowned Niagara don’t hold a candle to these.

Anyway the first thing I noticed when I looked out the window was that I could already see waterfalls as it was pissing down. As I prepared my gear I was able hear thunder and lightning. Here we ****ing go I thought.

Anyway into the café for buffet breakfast. Plate of eggs some spicy sausage some interesting bred rolls that were infused with cheese and consistent like marshmallows inside and hard on the outside like baked bread. Couple of glasses of OJ and headed upstairs to grab my bag.
Head out the front door at 08:40 to wait for my main Mario.

It’s flogging down at a level that would be more than acceptable to call off an NBN game. There are a pile of buses and taxis and its chaos as this is the time of day the various tourist groups do the hotel pickups.

Through the rain comes Mario and leads me to his chariot and we are off. On the way can see the town has copped a pummelling from the rain. Did see one football field covered in 6 inches of water. Obviously they are in desperate need of some FR’s ditch digging drainage skills

Anyway stop at the Brazil border crossing. About to jump out and Mario says stay here. Grabs my passport runs in and is back out within the minute with a stamp on. The Argentine border is a piece of piss. Show the passport they stick it in there machine and stamp away all without you leaving the car.

Anyway make it to the Argentine National Park. Mario takes me up to the gate helps me buy entry and then leaves me in the capable hands of someone at the Info Desk who speaks great Ingles to answer my questions.

Sussed out the park had basically 3must do things. Upper Trails Lower Trails and Devils Throat the big thing in the joint

Decided to take the upper trails first. Had about a 1km hike there before they started. Done the circuit with it flogging down and I am soaked. Good news is the paths through the jungle had been paved so you were only stepping in puddles and not mud. Good news was the mozzies were afraid of the Aeroguard I had in the bag and were anonymous

Decided to wear the canvas shoes today as knowing they were gonna get wet dirty decided I would trash the $6 Kmart specials and not the dearer ones.

After doing the upper trails where you get views of smaller falls up close and distant views from a height of the bigger ones decided to head around to the lower trails 30mins wasted as I took wrong tracks. They were not sign posted.

Basically ended back up where I started after 1km walking. Only problem was it was all ****ing uphill

Finally found them and had a running battle with my camera most of the way around. Kept going off in functions and wasn’t responding how it should have been. Wasn’t stopping me taking pictures just going into timer mode or losing the LCD screen so you had to take it old school point guess and fire etc

On the Lower Falls they let you get up close and personal with platforms built out where some of these things fall. We are talking 5-10m away.
Must have been a **** of a construction job to do. Constantly wet shit terrain and it ain’t like you can turn the water off either upstream. Add in the danger aspect where you would most likely die if you ended up in the water and going over the falls.

Done the bulk of the lower and decided to go on the boat ride. Wanted to take the 1.5hour one but being it weren’t on for a while took the 15min one instead. They strap you into a life jacket and give you a bag to put your personal things in. Then you jump in the speed boat. They take you out and hook the speed up and throw the boat about on the choppy water at the bottom of the falls.

Then they take you to the smaller waterfalls and get you up close and personal. Not directly under it but close enough you’re getting soaked. As they done this the first thing I noticed was how mucking cold the water was. It was that cold my dick was heading in tortoise style

Second thing I noticed was as the water got inside my clothes and soaked the shit out of them and me was the realisation that some dumb count had his passport in the money belt strapped to my neck.

Had totally forgot it was there. Had visions of it being a wet pulp and the dramas that would entail for me not to mention I needed it to get reunited with some warm clothes

So here I am worried about my passport freezing my nuts off and strapped into this boat flogging it about the place and am unable to do anything bar hang on and hope for the best.

You can imagine my disgust when the boat captain revved the crowd up and they revved him up to dunk us all some more. So we all got drenched some more.

Finally got off and water is in every orifice. Reached in and grabbed the pouch my passport was in and noticed it was soaked. My heart sank.

Being that I was still dripping water I prayed to Griff and waited until I dried enough to do no more damage. Thank you Graff

The protective cover your passport comes in held up. My passport was in mint condition. Couldn’t say the same for the money I had in there which was soaked.
The money here is basically paper and not the plastic stuff we have so I pulled it out gently put it in a plastic bag and shoved it back in hoping my body heat would dry it.

Worse part about it was it was the money I had to pay Mario so needed it dry as I didn’t have enough pesos in the wallet to cover it.

Ended up going and doing the last leg the trip to Devils Throat. Take a train ride about 10km before getting out and walking a platform for about 1km. The walk gives you a perspective on the magnitude of how much water there is supplying the falls.

Then at the end the platform leaves you right at the edge 20yards away from the point the biggest falls are. Words cannot describe the sight. Amazing does not do it justice.

How they built the platform there?? ****ed if I know but hats off for that.

Spent a good 30mins there taking it in.

Got the train back and went to the toilet. Whilst there I pulled the money out and wrapped it in paper towel and delicately tried to dry it by pressing on it to remove moisture. Ended unsticking it in the jacket and walking back to the park entrance. Stopped at the toilets again for some more paper towel and repeated.

Made it back by 4pm after 6.5hours of exploration. Mario was waiting and we hit the road. Through Argentina border and when we got to Brazil border I had to go in and complete paperwork to get exit card for flight out after WC.

On to hotel and I spent the entire trip drying the money on the back seat.
Anyway by the time it arrived to cough up the $600pesos $60AUD to Mario it was good to go. Slipped him another $100peso tip and we said our goodbyes.

Went in and laid out all my gear to dry. As it was night time now so not much natural drying cranked up the heater to sauna like and turned the room into a furnace.

Headed next door to the Churrasco for dinner. Went in and asked for the menu. Bloke gave me a wine list. I looked at him in a confused manner he went and got an Ingles speaking staff. Turns out he was right to hand me the wine list as the joint was an all you can eat buffet.

Must be one of the few ****s in the Wold has asked for a menu in one of them. Well for BR$29 about $18Aud you got about 100dishes in the Baize Marie.

The cook is flat out BBQ meat and the waiters come out to you and cut the thing off a massive skewer and put as much on the plate as you like.
Lamb Beef Chicken Pork all done in different flavours. Even something else that may have been dog rat or cat. No good though.

Washed it down with some Cerveja (BEER) brand Brahma. This shit was worse than Bluetounge. FMD
Finished it off with some dessert ice cream.

Headed back to the hotel trashed after a huge day

Absolutely amazing these waterfalls. Shame they don’t get the recognition that deserve internationally because they de

09-06-2014, 11:39 PM
good work mk

10-06-2014, 10:31 AM
:sup:For Militia
Proudly sponsored by Tooheys New_ FOR THE LOVE OF KALE

Got up Sunday 8th June at 07:20am. Off to see the Iguazu Waterfalls on the Brazillian side. For those not in the know the border is in the middle of the river so it gives both countries the opportunity to squeeze the tourist dollar. Argentina’s probably got the best deal as it has more and closer access. Brazil though allows the panorama aspect.

Anyway the first thing I noticed was it was raining again.

Packed my things up and appears my new DLSR camera has packed it in. Got wet yesterday but don’t think that is the problem. The terminals where the battery makes contact one appears to come away. When I push it together with a pen the camera powers on. Appears I got the one in a thousand in the batch that fails early. **** you Canon

Mobile phone camera will have to suffice

Anyway into the café for buffet breakfast. More bread rolls that were infused with cheese. Also had waffles going. Got myself a plate of them and proceeded to break the container. Seemed to have a lever on the side so I applied pressure. No syrup was coming out so gave it more shoulder grunt. Next thing you know the piece flew off and into the bread.

Turns out you only had to pour the thing and I snapped the handle off.

Couple of glasses of OJ and headed upstairs to grab my bag.

Being that my shoes and socks haven’t dried yet and faced with the prospect of wetting another pair chose to don the wet $6K Mart specials.
Jump in the cab outside the hotel. The guys make life easy as there is almost always one there 24-7.Half hour drive and we are there $R 50 about $28Aud later and I am heading in.

Another $R50 and I am in the park. Jump on a bus that drives you for 10-15kms down to the water falls. On the way they stop every couple of kms for tracks in case someone wants to do optional tours.

Finally get there and walk about 50m to the first viewing point. This rain has added a bit more fury to the things. Could see the bit where I was on the boat yesterday. Looks far too dangerous to do today.

Just looking at the fury of the water today I am glad I done Argentina then Brazil and not the other way. Today I reckon there may be a few issues doing what I done yesterday.

The spots where we took the boat yesterday look like a tsunami has hit

Go through a trek through the jungle taking in the panoramic views. Good news was the mozzies were again afraid of the Aeroguard I had in the bag and were still anonymous

Spent a bit more time today just stopping relaxing and taking it all in.

After about 3-4km you come to a platform out in the river. Decided to brave it. Got out there getting saturated from the spray of the nearby falls. Wind and water were nearly blowing you in but my arse was providing a counter resistance almost on par with nature’s fury.

Walked back and there is a platform 5yards from an epic large fall. Braved it again taking selfie. This platform has multiple levels to give different perspectives of the falls. Took it all in and come to a café.

Grabbed a drink and walked down the road. Checked the map and that appeared it. Checked the souvenir shops but they had the usual obscene prices before jumping the bus back to the park exit. 12:45am

Enjoyed the water falls but really felt like the Brazilians were trying to exploit you. The whole thing was like a fast food restaurant cheap nasty and tacky. The Argentine side were less in your face about getting money out of you

Jumped taxi back into to town and got back to hotel at 1:30pm. Changed into some dry gear and went for a 2 hour stroll around town. Place was dead. Obviously people here don’t feel the need for shops to be open Sunday’s.

Did go down and lay eyes on Paraguay which is 3 blocks and a swim away. Decided previously to not bother with Paraguay as the visa to enter is $US 150 or something like that. Place is very poor as well and little tourist activity.

Hotel for a bit of internet time and photo upload.
Whilst doing this flung a novel use for the hairdryer. Used it to blow dry air onto my damp clothes to speed up the drying process. Even had socks and jocks attached in weird manners to the AC I had flat out on heat with the window open

Headed next door to the Churrasco for dinner again. No need to make last night’s mistake so I walked in took a seat hit the service buzzer and ordered some Cerveja (BEER) brand Bohemia. This shit is a lot better than that Bluetoungue shit from last night. Not quite reaching an endorsement deal from the Graff but a step in the right direction

Finished it off with some dessert some chocolate mousse like concoction and a cake that was like a lamington. Fantastico

Headed back to the hotel to download some porn and a good night’s sleep.

Reason was tomorrow I was off to Rio De Janeiro.

Before bed received reports someone USA tourists had foot long knife pulled on them at Ipanema right in the tourist area. Rio is a violent city so going to have to be on toes

10-06-2014, 11:00 AM
Loving it Member, looking forward to reports from Rio

10-06-2014, 11:38 AM
Stay safe, MFAW!

Remember - when in trouble, yell "Ingles"!

10-06-2014, 12:11 PM
Stay safe, MFAW!

Remember - when in trouble, yell "Ingles"!

Could I suggest yell: australia

10-06-2014, 12:20 PM
:roflz: I agree the other night in iguazu the waiter told someone was Americano

I felt the need to urgently address this as the world hates those ****s.

Being dubbed American is a head start on an arse whooping

10-06-2014, 02:52 PM
Could I suggest yell: australia

This would evoke sympathy for the atrocities we will experience on the pitch.

Also, for those less travelled, can you confirm the pronunciation of "Ingles".

Is this like Pringles, without the pr. or is it phonetically how they pronounce English?

10-06-2014, 02:57 PM
How about getting a t shirt printed that says "I am not a F*ckin' American!". that should keep you safe. It works in the middle east. It will be like those stickers you can get in Austria that say "there are no koalas in Austria". Sorts the Yanks out from the rest of the world.

10-06-2014, 02:58 PM
This would evoke sympathy for the atrocities we will experience on the pitch.

Also, for those less travelled, can you confirm the pronunciation of "Ingles".

Is this like Pringles, without the pr. or is it phonetically how they pronounce English?

Could it be more like as in Greg Inglis?

10-06-2014, 03:54 PM
I thought it would be pronounced like In-glase

11-06-2014, 01:42 PM
Would post more often. Nut I's hard to whenough shot faced
Rio is a ****ing bladt

11-06-2014, 01:43 PM
You get the drift

11-06-2014, 01:43 PM
Would post more often. Nut I's hard to whenough shot faced
Rio is a ****ing bladt

Those "dreaded caprinhia" ay? :pissup:

11-06-2014, 01:50 PM

11-06-2014, 02:16 PM

11-06-2014, 02:28 PM
:cool: :popcorn:

11-06-2014, 02:30 PM

11-06-2014, 03:55 PM

11-06-2014, 04:23 PM
Is he dead yet?

11-06-2014, 05:16 PM
Is he dead yet?

lost a lung and a kidney, but hanging in there...

11-06-2014, 07:56 PM
Turns out you only had to pour the thing and I snapped the handle off.


12-06-2014, 07:50 AM

12-06-2014, 08:52 AM
Where did you put that member?

12-06-2014, 10:52 AM
Up on sugar loaf mountain they have cable cars

Up the top they had a sheet to write world cup messages

I made sure it got authentic with the touch it needed

12-06-2014, 04:08 PM
Carn MK next update....after breakfast I went up stairs to get bag.....

12-06-2014, 06:07 PM
Where did you put that member?

Without punctuation, this could be taken a few ways, with varying results :grin:

12-06-2014, 10:39 PM
Would post more often. Nut I's hard to whenough shot faced
Rio is a ****ing bladt

Haha ffs :lulz::wub:

13-06-2014, 02:41 AM
:roflz:For Militia
Proudly sponsored by Tooheys New_ FOR THE LOVE OF KALE

Got up Monday 9th June at 07:20am.
Today it is on. I am heeding to Rio de Janeiro to party for a few days before heading to Cuiaba for the Chile game.
Actually excited as its getting very real now.

Got the day off to a good start by locking myself out of my room. First time so far. Left the door card in the power slot and shut the door. Went down stairs got a replacement. Returned the replacement after getting in. Went back up and my original card wouldn’t work FFS

Back downstairs and got the card situation right. Got in and done some packing. Got a card out this morning as I need it. As I started packing I went searching for it. Turned the room upside down but can’t for the life of me find it. Pretty certain it is not in the hotel room but in my luggage. Where though????

Gonna present an issue if I don’t find it later. Down stairs for breakfast eggs Calabrese and some pancakes. Back upstairs another check on my room for this card. I am satisfied it ain’t there. Head down and check out. Had prepaid hotel but was hit with a $R26 tourist tax $15Aud. I don’t have too much of an issue in the money but FFS include it in your ****ing price.

Jump in a taxi and head to airport $R45 later $25Aud and I am there. Bit odd here. First up you go through xray baggage screen before checking in which was good 15 mins. Then in through the metal detectors. Some dumb count left his phone in the pocket so got the pat down personal attention before going back and doing it again
Into boarding gate and wait. Kick back and listen to some music. Place is a little cramped and crowded but lots leaving for World Cup. Iguassu was full of tourist people as per normal. A lot of them were in town on their way to WC

Flight took nearly two hours. Did get a bag of crackers that when I got I viewed with some suspicion. They looked like they would have the flavour of cardboard mixed with water.

They deadest looked like rice crackers. Good news were they were better than Arnotts Shapes.

Landing in Rio the view was spectacular. Bay Ocean Mountains etc awesome contrasts
Add in the Favelas and there was just so much to see.

Anyway waiting for baggage but who do I find?? The blokes from Newy who I bumped into at the Colonia ferry last week.
Good chat seems we had been doing similar things just different directions

Go searching for the WC ticket terminal. Airport is huge but am unable to find it. Checked later it turns out I was looking in wrong terminal.
Get a pre booked taxi. Took 45mins to get to Copacabana

See Christo Redentor up on the mountain as we go past on the freeway. Cabbie took us pars Copacabana Beach. Memory will be forever tarnished by the Milli Vanilli on the radio

Get out at hotel check in. First thing is on the internet. Made contact with 2people for ticket trades.

First one said he would be down in 30mins. Other one said he can see my hotel from his window. Ran outside and waved him down. 10mins later and this bloke from Brisvegas was giving me a England V Costa Rica ticket for cost price of $190Aud.I will be sitting with his party at the game

5mins later the only bloke who I know really well who is over here walks in the hotel to check in. I hadn’t seen much of him recently as he has been busy working and had no idea we had same hotel Found a drinking buddy already.

20mins later my Brazillian mate was giving me ticket to Iran Nigeria for $50Aud 1/2price

Good chat was had by all. Then went for a stroll along beach. Had to cut it short with nightfall. Not to be near beach at night for safety reasons.

That being said the local cops are ****ing everywhere. Every 2nd street corner you will find one.

Headed to bank and go some money out. Didn’t need it but wanted to try whilst there was no need. My debit card failed but my cc came up trumps. Odd both Visa both Greater BS
Got pretty good rate of $253AUD /$500BR

Next up went to a laundry. Things were starting to get delicate on that front.

First one was fun
No Ingles. **** seemed to be trying to upsell ironing clothes. Dumb ****s like me don’t iron anyway.

Ended up going to another. Bloke spoke perfect English. Was a bit of a joker to. Had a chat and told him where I had been. He told me there was now flooding in Iguassu so it looks like I got lucky. $30 aud later and my washing was sorted. No laundry mats here. No washer and dryer the hotel wither. The hotel will do it but at $US 10 for a pair of jeans $US 6 for a sort **** that.
You would need an overdraft for a load

Anyway grabbed a Milanesa again from a nearby restaurant. Came with Feijoda a local dish. Black beans in a pork gravy. Sort of like Baked beans but a little more up market.

Headed back to hotel and sat on roof top bar drinking piss with my mate and 20 odd other Aussies for the rest of the night. Good night was had.
From the roof you can see the Media centre from where the les murrays and fosters etc will be broadcasting their dribble. Thank **** I don’t have to listen to Foster carry on until I get home

Made it to bed before midnight just

13-06-2014, 02:42 AM
:roflz:For Militia
Proudly sponsored by Tooheys New_ FOR THE LOVE OF KALE

Got up Tuesday 10th June 2014
Down stairs for breakfast eggs Calabrese and some waffles. This time I pored it and left the handle alone. Handle is intact. Back upstairs another check on my room for this card I need. For some reason some dumb **** decided to hide it in my little first aid kit. Why??? **** knows
Good news the DLSR has made a comeback from the dead. Pack the bag as had a tour to go on today. Had to meet at hotel on beachfront. Thought I would go for a stroll on beachfront. Was raining so cut short. Headed to hotel and met up with group.

We were off on a Favela tour. Jumped in a mini van with a dozen other Aussies and were heading to Rochina the most famous favela of all. Some bloke who couldn’t work out whether he was black or white filmed a video clip there beck in the day before he became more of a joke as a celebrity
Pulled up at the top.
Got out and first though was shit. May not make it out of here alive.
Took some photos of some power lines which are haphazardly put together.
Went for a good stroll through the joint. Tiny twisty walkways rubbish everywhere faeces here and there odours that are indescribable. Took about 3 hours to get from top to bottom. We stopped off at various spots. Local artists chefs etc where we had a chance to buy stuff. Some kids played some kick arse drumming for us. 1 had a drum the other 2 had old paint cans but FMD they were good.
Stopped off at an orphanage school. Left a donation of some notes and emptied the wallet of shrapnel.
Took some get photos as the rich and poor areas meet. Mind-blowing you could have such a disparity metres apart
Headed back to hotel and grabbed some stuff dumped some stuff and took off for the FIFA ticketing centre.
Google maps said 2.1km
Closer to 10km by my reckoning. Took over an hour and I never got lost once.
Went in after 30mins queuing. Neglected to book an appointment as I had planned to get at airport the day before.
First up got directed to the machine. Tried putting the card in to get the tickets I bent a few rules to get. As there was some bloke nearby holding a rifle and I am doing shut I shouldn’t be am nervous as all.
Couldn’t get past the DOB thing. Not wanting to push it I aborted mission and pulled card out. Stuck the other card in. This was for my legit ticket in my name etc.
Houston we have a problem. Got sent to the counter 40minsof queuing later I had 6 more tickets.
Australia v Chile/Holland/Spain
Honduras v Ecuador
France v Honduras
And 2nd rd Brasilia winner Frances group v runner up Argentina group
Most likely reason I had to go to counter was I had a ticket sold back as I got 2 to the Dutch game
Not wanting to push my luck strolled back to hotel.
Walked down by the beach. On my way could hear a ton of sirens. Thought the Griff was in town as I haven’t heard as much noise since the day Griff scored the winning goal in the GF
Turns out it was the ****ing English NT who are based in Rio before they go home in dis grace again. You weren’t getting within 20metres of the ****s anyway such was the presence of authorities
Strolled along Copacabana beach. They were putting the fondest together. Less than 48 hours to go. **** me they had a lot of work to do. Strolled along and who do I meet but my drinking buddy. Swapped tales of why we had done today. I had planned to go to Christo Redentor and Sugar loaf Mountain cable cars but as it was over cast decided to give it a miss for better weather day.
He suggested we go for more drinks.
Without much hesitation I was acquiescing to this. Headed back to hotel. Said I would beep in 10mis. Logged on to Fifa and found my issue alas that my false accounts dob was wrong. I was off by a day.
Headed up and got stuck into the caprinhias.
R$12 aud $6
Caprinhiais a local cocktail made with cachaça I think it is called. Cachca is the Brazilian spirit as vodka is Russian rum is Jamaican
First up lets just say they don’t measure your shots. You get a good helping. As the day wore on they get bigger and bigger as you make buddies with the barman his generosity improves.
Second up these things knock your fuĉkin socks off. Ice lime sugar lime juice
A few of these and you end up in a favela you will be ending up with a sore arsehole in the morning if you survive.
Sitting up on the roof you were able to notice the nearby hillside Favela.
Real close to Copacabana like 3 blocks from us
Rather odd that here the hillsides have the poor and the flat has the rich. Usually it is the other way around. Some of the views from the Favela would be billion dollar. Barely makes up for the squalor they live in though.
Sat up their getting smashed where we had a problem. They operate on a great system hereof honour. You keep buying drinks then you settle your bill at the end. Works out sweet as you don’t end up with a pocket full of shrapnel
Anyway someone had skipped out in our party without paying
Everyone left was cleär so a whip round was had to cover it.

Headed off to an Irish Pubs
Br$38 for 2 beers and we were out of there. Dear and shit hole anyway
They did a different system where they give you a bit of paper and write your orders on it. At the end you present your paper for payment. Basically you can’t afford to lose your paper. Real good idea with drunk people. **** knows how many Tab or Keno tickets I have lost after a few beveräges
System definitely wouldn’t work in Australia. The amount drinking a skinful and bolting would be epic
Ended up heeding to a beach side café after a kick about on the ave Atlantica
****s told us they had no beer so we were off again.
Found a restaurant/bar had hamburgers and continued to get smashed. Staggered back to hotel after 2am

Retro Jet
13-06-2014, 10:19 AM
This thread: My Santo, Sam & Ed substitute for this WC
Btw, still got most of their shows on my DVD HD from last WC!!!

13-06-2014, 01:30 PM
This thread: My Santo, Sam & Ed substitute for this WC
Btw, still got most of their shows on my DVD HD from last WC!!!
Disappointed about no SSE. Jimoen has a show, hope its ok.

13-06-2014, 03:24 PM
"Took some photos of some power lines which are haphazardly put together."

To show your mates or your family?

13-06-2014, 04:24 PM
show us the power line photos MKFC

The Dunster
13-06-2014, 04:32 PM
Brillant posts by the membah.

13-06-2014, 06:18 PM
You would need an overdraft for a load

Reminds me of a girl I once dated.....

14-06-2014, 01:17 AM
Reminds me of a girl I once dated.....

14-06-2014, 01:23 AM
:lulzturtle:For Militia
Proudly sponsored by Tooheys New_ FOR THE LOVE OF KALE

Got up Wednesday 11th June 2014 at 07:30 feeling worse for wear. Anyway ponied up and packed the bags. Due to misfortune luck of bad draw I had to change hotels for 1 night about 2km away

Bags packed and down for breakfast æ dozen or so of my drinking buddies were bound for Cuiaba today. I have another day here.
Anyway some waffles pancakes and some cheese bread a plate of Calabrese and scrambled eggs and I was ready to face the world.

Wandered outside to check the weather. Sun was shining but a little cloudy and hazy. Left luggage in storage and checked out of hotel
Decided to head down to Sugarloaf Mountain. They have a cable car system there that takes you up the top of the mountain. From the cable car and 2 stops there are spectacular views over the city

Jumped in a taxi. Drove down road sat in traffic jam for 30mins. Lights and the mucking English NT holding traffic up.
**** those ****s. Stevie G and Rooney cost me about $5Aud due to them holding up traffic
I am death wishing those ****s all tourney now

Finally made it to the base at $R 30 and ten of that was the English NT fault

Why in ****sname as these princesses living it up in Rio anyway??
There is far too much excitement here for good focused preparation anyway

Another R$60 a short10min wait and I was on my way. Jumped in the car which could fit 50-100in it
Took a vantage point on the window and started and started taking photos to keep my mind of my dislike for heights

Within a couple of mins we were at first stop. Got off spent an hour up there. Could have done it in 15 mins Took a pile of photos even got some kick Ares ones of planes coming into land at the nearby city centre Santos Dumont airport
A bazooka or RPG could do some damage

Got in cable car to go up the top and my drinking buddy mate is in it. He has gone on a tour today to Christo and Sugarloaf
Poor bugger paid $140Aud for it

I done half of it for $55Aud and I got to do it at my leisure. This poor bugger was being dragged along at the quick tour group speed not getting to fully embrace it.

Spent another hour up the top level taking it all in. This is where I tagged the banner striking the love for griff etc.
Ran out of battery on camera so cancel of plans for Christo Redentor this arvo. No point going up there with just mobile phone

By this stage the sun was beating down, still a bit hazy in the air but getting quite hot and steamy. Decided to make a move as starting to get concerned about sun burn

Headed for a walk and found a chemist bit of google translate and sorted out a 50ml bottle of sunscreen. Reason I only bought 50ml as at around $15Aud that was as much as I now wanted

Rubbed it in and went for a short walk to the FIFA ticketing centre.

In and out in 5 mins with my remaining tickets now I had the correct birthdate.

M49 winner Brazils group V runner up of Australia’s
M55 winner Argentina’s group V runner up Frances x 2
M58 Rio QF at the Maracana
Plus another spare France v Honduras ticket
Have a trade arranged for my M55 for the M 60 Brasilia QF

Anyway walked out of their grinning like a Cheshire cat.

They take your photo. When I got the first lot I smiled and basically puckered up

This time I pulled the hat down over the face closed my eyes and basically let them take a photo of my nostrils
If I could have worn a balaclava I would have

Jumped in a nearby cab
Dumb **** gypo he was.

There are basically 4 main streets in Rio. Off that run a pile of side streets.

The dumb count first up had NFI when I gave hotel name.
When I gave ä nearby hotel still had NFI
When I wrote it down he had NFI
When I typed it into my phone and had it pronounced back at him in Portuguese the **** had NFI
When I pointed it out on a map he still had no ****ing idea.

Anyway jumped in and told him I would tell Pare (stop) when need be

Bloke decided to drive in the opposite direction I wanted him to. Got him to stop and go the right way Ave Atlantica helped get him some guidance
When the dumb **** left Ave Atlantic I called an end to this charade and jumped out.
****ing gypo supporter I bet

Walked back to hotel collected luggage and jumped in taxi to new hotel.

Check in place looks the goods but is like a showbag.
All glittery and shiny and full of shit.

Tap handles fell off toilet would barely flush, no internet in the room. Disgrace good news is it was clean and only one night.

Threw the swimmers on headed to the beach and took a swim. Water was fine temp wise but gee they had some power for waves as small as they were and some good rips going to take a few people out to sea. Got out and strolled down the beach. Some absolute delightful sights. Some others that should have been wearing garbage bags

Spotted the large contingent of Aussies having a game of beach football and another couple of hundred a drink. Went and joined them.

Two hours later headed back to hotel for a quick tub and back out for dinner. Decided to have a quiet one as have a big day tomorrow onward bound to Cuiaba
Went searching for a feed. Nothing specific.

Spotted my mate from Brisvegas who hooked me up with the England tickets. Told me he got photographs on FB of him and Les Murray on the beach together. Sure as shit he does.

Of course I wasn’t in their interested in this place they were in so walked for ages checking various things out. Really wanted to go to a Ĉhurrasco but couldn’t find one. Stopped somewhere and after 3 failed orders IE they didn’t have why was on the menu I ordered a steak.

Came with fries salad and rice. Also came with farofa I think it was called which was a bread crumb like spice to mix and flavour the boiled rice. Wasn’t bad just left you thirsty so knocked off 5 Skols. Even come in a tinny which in warm weather is almost handicapped as you drink 2 before you notice
Headed back to hotel to charge up the gear phone camera tablet etc and hit the hay at 9:30pm

14-06-2014, 01:27 AM
It is ****ing hot here guys 30c at 10am and is getting hotter. About to leave for pre match piss up 6 hours of it.

We stay in this game late and we will run over the top of these little ****s.

14-06-2014, 01:32 AM
:lulz::lulz: Game day here boys and girls in down town Cuiaba
It is ducking chaos now

Fly to Porto Alegre on Sunday so wild probably get the next posts in during the flight.

Then again I may have to have a designated AFD (Alcohol Free tomorrow. The pace is hectic drinking wise and these caprinhias are mucking me up

15-06-2014, 09:17 AM
For Militia
Proudly sponsored by Tooheys New_ FOR THE LOVE OF KALE

Got up Thursday 12th June 2014 at 5:30am feeling worse for wear. Seem to be coming down with a cold. Had a rough night sleeping with the nose throat etc going off .Anyway ponied up and jumped in shower. Bags hadn’t been unpacked so took **** all time. Went down and checked out at 6am.

The bloke at reception estimated it would take possibly 2 hours to get there if traffic was rough and assured me he used to be a cabbie so knew.

Anyway traffic was good and only took us 30mins to get there.10mins were wasted by parasites protesting on the freeway. ****s jumped on a 90km hour freeway and blocked 2of 3 lanes leaving 1 free. ****s even had the cops there condoning it who could easily have told them to stand on the footpath and protest
Only about 50 of them. Won’t matter about their cause because in 12hours time the worlds focus will mean their issues are forgotten. Wonder how many of the parasites will watch the game tonight. ****ing hypocrites

My cabbie in a display of daring that would never be done in Australia used the break down lane to navigate the chaos. Gave him $BR100 as he was stellar.
Checked in and dumped suitcase then got something to eat.

Had nearly 4hours to kill due to the ridiculously early arrival. Typed up the blogs I was behind in and cost myself a fortune by losing something.

When we had to change gates as the custom here. Happens 2-3 times per flight. At the 2nd move I left my tablet cover under the seat I was at.

Only problem was I was using the pocket to store some money in

Had about $60Aud $200US and about $50Australian of Uruguayan and Argentinean money
Also had a USB stick in there. Nothing I don’t have at home but would be useful here none the less.

Went for a search and was told by someone the cleaner took it. Found a cleaner but of course no Ingles. Walked the area we were in looking for someone who could help me with directions for lost property. You think in my hour of need I could find someone who spoke Ingles???

Not in your life. Ended up had to jump my flight to Sao Paulo without it. About time I lost something on tour just wish it wasn’t so much.

Anyway flight to Sao Paulo was fun to say the least pile of Aussies pile of Chileans.

What was even more fun was the 6-8 seats that people had boarding passes for. Dead set we had 4 people with boarding passes to same seat. Somehow there were seats not assigned and all got a seat but ****ing insanity.

Flight is fun goes for under an hour and most of that is circling Rio to follow flight paths and circling Sao Paulo. Spend about 20mins actually flying and another 30mins wasted on circling airports on departure and arrival.

Thought I would have a look at Sao Paulo unable to spot the WC stadium from the plane. Did see lot of concrete. The place is ****ing huge. Ridiculously large.

As we had 2 hour to kill in Sao Paulo and you had to go through the x-rays to get a connecting flight I walked outside for some fresh air as you had to do it there anyway to get back in.

Headed back in and jumped on the internets to find first game up in HAL is gypos away. Bring it on. We are just about due to win a game first up in the season.

Jumped back on the plane to Cuiaba. Once again the same circus with the seating. Basically we just took an empty seat now an saved the shenanigans

Settled in for some tunes on the 2hour flight to the middle of St America.
Pretty sombre affair. Most napped

Land in Cuiaba one hour before kick off to the World Cup.

First thing I notice airport isn’t close to being finished for the WC. Most of the place is hoarded up construction site.

More importantly the ****s haven’t installed any AC
Being that is 35C and it is the middle of winter a glaring oversight.

Anyway jumped a taxi and made way to hotel. Drove past the Statue of Liberty.

Yep these ****s have their own Statue of Liberty statue.

First impressions of this place is it is a shithole. Seriously Gosford looks like a cultured capital of the world compared to this place. That really hurts to say that by I swear on Griff that it is

Secondly the place was dead as everyone was ready for Brazil v Croatia. The place for a city with 1 million people for the most part was as busy as the Hunter St Mall

Made the hotel. Check in was fun cause about 50Aussies made it here all at once. Threw bags in room and headed back down stairs.

Grabbed 4 tinnies of Cervaja Skol for $8Aud total. Dirt Cheap

Seen kick off and jumped in a taxi with 2 other Aussies as we had a piss up function in town 5 mins away.

Hotel gave 2 cabbies address and we were away. We were following and things went sour when the taxi in front went straight we went left and our non Ingles speaking cabbie had NFI where to go.

What made life even better is none of us knew the address of our hotel or where we were going as we had left them in the hotel
25 mins of insanity prevailed before we ordered the cabbie back to our hotel. On the way back we saw a large contingent in green and gold. Got out and checked Brazilians watching the game

By shear good luck we looked across the road and there was an Aussie pissing on the fence. Turns out that this was our function. The only reason we found it was some bloke was uncultured and decided to piss in public.

Anyway in we go and we get a pile of drink coupons. Get stuck into the Caprinhias and watch the game. We have missed some goals it is 40 mins in and 1-1

Watched the game with about 1000Aussies socialising and getting smashed. After the game I continued the getting smashed bit as it is still 30C +after nightfall. Jumped on the shuttle bus at 11:30 after along wait.

Our bus driver had to drop 2 other groups off before us. Problem was he had no idea where to go. It took him forever to find the 2nd hotel after missing it twice.
Then he drove round in circles with us. We went past the airport 3 times Ffs

The bloke 3 times had to get out and ask for directions. Even when we bought the thing up on Google maps he waved us away. After 90 mins of travel we finally made it to the hotel. The hotel and function place were about 5km away and even allowing for the drop offs first the whole trip should have been 15to 20mins tops

Anyway headed in and woke up my new room mate. For the next 3 weeks I am in twin share
Had introductions and a good chat until 2:30am over a couple of those $2tinnies before hitting the bed.

15-06-2014, 10:38 AM


How do you rate this pool??/

15-06-2014, 12:58 PM
First impressions of this place is it is a shithole. Seriously Gosford looks like a cultured capital of the world compared to this place....... Gold... :roflz:

16-06-2014, 09:14 AM
For Militia
Proudly sponsored by Tooheys New_ FOR THE LOVE OF KALE

Got up Friday 13th June 2014 at 8:30am feeling worse for wear. This bug seems to be coming on. **** knows what I coughed and spat up but it was impressive. Had a rough night sleeping with the nose throat etc going off this was compounded by the AC achieving below optimum results from 4am. It was ****ing icy in my room. My room mate apparently enjoys cold air like a cool room in the bottle to sleep.

Anyway today was game day time to do ourselves proud or go down in an embarrassing heap. In one regard I wanted us to get a pasting so the FFA will have to make positive changes to the game in our country and not paper over cracks.

Anyway breakfast was the most bland feed I have on tour. Average to say the least.

Went for a stroll near the hotel and am convinced Gosford is a better place than Cuiaba
This place is a shithole. What’s worse is it is intensely hot 35C at 10am

Anyway off to a pre match function.
Decided to stay off the piss until game time. In this heat there is no way you would last the 6 hours drinking. That went well I did good but not good enough. Made it through the Mexico V Cameroon. By the way that linesman should be signed up for the HAL similar levels of incompetence.

By the time the Dutch and Spanish kicked off I had succumbed.
Knocked away a few cans of Brahma before we left for the ground just after HT with the score locked at 1-1

The march to the ground was fun in some regard but cringe worthy in others. We had about 1km to get their and another 1.5km walk due to the security arrangements to get in.

Some of the songs were dead set disgraceful and embarrassing. Others were offensive.
We seem to have a problem where songs like Waltzing Matilda just don’t strike the chord it should.

The locals had come out of their houses and were smiling waving filming taking photos. Was a joy to see the looks on their faces.

Made it to their ground and noticed the Chileans were in good numbers. We had 4-5k support easily yet the Chileans had 3-4 times this.

Went through the screening gates and got the Spanish inquisition about the tube of sun screen I had in the bag. The bottle of roll on deodorant which would make a great projectile was Ok yet a tube of block out was a problem??? WTF

Anyway got in past the security point and then through the entry gate and inside.
As it was 80 mins to kick off decided to take a stroll around the exterior of the ground taking ît all in.

By the time I decided to make it in and found my seat the Aussies were out for the warm up.
Found my seat 25 yards out on the side opposite the benches up the end Chile attacked in the first half.

Can imagine the disbelief when the bloke next to me showed the FT score from the Spain game on his phone. We left at 1-1 at HT and I reckon I was convinced for 10 mins it was photo shopped before I believed him

The Chileans came out to deafening roars for their warm up. What was noticeable was that the Aussies did a long warm up of at least 30 mins whereas the Chileans done 10-15mins and strutted off, Arrogance maybe.

The teams eventually appeared for the Anthems and the Chilean was exceptional. Was quite long and rousing. The bar was set high. We tried but most ‘likely fell short in matching it.

Anyway game kicked off.
Thought for the first 10 mins although Chile had the ball we controlled them and coveted their moves.
Then all of a sudden the first goal came. The place went off.

Then the second a few minutes later.

The Chileans were going nuts. We were shell shocked in the stands. Well not me I have been in training for moments like these for years. As a Jets fan this was a stock standard feeling at watching football games.

For the rest of the HAL club fans they didn’t know what to make of it.

Talking to the bloke next to me I reassured him we weren’t gonna lose by 10. I did have my doubts that I was talking out of my arse but I had already seen that the Chileans had enough cracks so far the game would swing.

Sure enough Timmy delivered. As the cross come in you could see it was going n before he headed it. Game on
Our bays erupted and we finally shut the Chileans up. Dead set haven’t felt that good since the day Griff re signed

The most pleasing thing was the only thing I wanted was to see us score and we had.

Not long after we were nearly level. Timmy shot at the keeper when rolling it across the 6yrd box would have seen someone who was unmarked walk it in.

Ht came and the mood was positive. Everyone felt that we could get something outbox the game. The Chileans had a lot of the ball but had done very little with it. For the most part we were solid defensively. It was the dumb **** defending that had cost us. Amateur hour really.

Went downstairs to get a drink $R 8coke $R 6 for water. R$10 for beer
Halve that for Aussie equivalent.

Loaded up with drinks headed back up stairs to get back just for resumption.

Anyway second half come and went we had chances didn’t take them had the Chileans on the ropes. Seriously 55mins in they were physically ****ed. They had their hands on their hips and were off their feet, problem was despite our superior fitness we didn’t have the quality or poise to exploit their fragile state.

With 15 mins to go the Socceroos started to wilt and the pressing dropped. Understandable I was in a profuse seat just sitting on my arse in the stand.
It was still 30C plus at night time. This gave the Chileans a bit more respite as they kept the ball more

Finally the final nail was delivered. Chileans erupted more so in relief. They were incredibly confident heading into the game and were shitting house bricks in the second half.

They may have got the points but we earned their respect.

Walking out of the ground was a positive vibe. We were all delighted we aimed up and were highly competitive.

We were also singing songs about being 3rd in the group

The Chileans were fantastic and very gracious in victory. Would love to have said we would have been the same but I don’t think that to be true.

Headed back to our post match function. Walked in and some bloke asked me how I was.

Had to do a double take but it was the one and only Mark Bosnich. Put the hand out and had a couple of minute chat with the bloke.
Had a couple of beers and some food but I was wrecked. Jumped on the bus and heeded back to hotel.

That was fun as it took an hour. It weren’t traffic for some reason ****s here drive with NF I where they are going. It is about 5-6km from function site to our hotel.

Jumped in the shower and took some Panadol for my throbbing head. Internet use was fun as the place was packed with people uploading photos and constantly dropped out.

Hit the hay at midnight. Beaten Battered but not disgraced

16-06-2014, 09:21 AM
For Militia
Proudly sponsored by Tooheys New_ FOR THE LOVE OF KALE

Got up Saturday 14th June 2014 at 9:30am feeling worse for wear. This cold and the big days before are laying me out. Yesterday I hadn’t really noticed it being game day but today it is has of my attention

With a 3am flight out of Cuiaba and a couple of big days lined up took the day easy. Headed down for breakfast. Followed it up by a session in the pool. Once again it was over35C so took it easy.

Washed the socks and jocks with a cake of soap in the sink and hung them out on the pool deck whilst taking a swim. I will at least have a full arsenal of these though keeping me out of strife for a while.

Very classy. Gypo like

Wandered to the shop and picked up some drinks a quick dip in the pool and went beck in watched the Greece Colombia clash with another visit to the pool at ht and ft.
Went back down and repeated for the Uruguay v Costa Rica match.

By the time the England Italy match was on used Ht for a shower and shave. Headed out across the road for pizza at FT delighted the English got rolled. Flunking Super Mario delivering karma for holding me up the other day

****ing weird menu at the pizza shop

They had pizzas with chocolate condensed milk banana mango etc

They also had one with corn and French fries WTF

Stuck to the steak and vege toppings onion mushys etc

After that laid down and had a 90 min nap after HT in the CIV v Japan game.

Gonna need it as can’t see getting too much at airports and on plane for my 3am flight which gets into Porto Alegre at 9am after stopover in Sao Paulo and losing an hour with time zone difference
I had no desire to fly at this time. I was originally scheduled to leave at 2pm arrive 9pm but then looked to change it to get there before France V Honduras at 4pm kick off. My airline had changed my flight to 7:30 flight arrive 1:20 which was sweet.

A week ago the ****s changed it to this absurd time. Being that by then every flight out of Cuiaba was booked solid for Friday night Saturday Sunday I was ****ing left with no option but to bend over and take a raping up the arse like the Jets do at Shittounge every match

**** YOU TAM

16-06-2014, 11:52 AM
That Chile national anthem sounded unreal on the screen, can only imagine the scenes in the ground. Awesome stuff MFAW!!

PS socializing with a gypo in Mark Bosnich smh

16-06-2014, 01:08 PM
Australia's drinking culture worries me.

16-06-2014, 08:14 PM
As for drinking it is much worse here

Alcohol is dirt cheap

Went to the bottle shop the other day and you get takeaway long necks for about $1.50 Aid

As a result you see heaps drinking in public

Main difference is I suppose the dickhead element where we win hands down

Just got up at 5am and seen at least 10 Aussies drunk and being ****wits outside my hotel at 5am

Don't really recall seeing the locals being obnoxious pricks

17-06-2014, 12:00 AM
how were the chile chicks Mems?

17-06-2014, 10:49 AM
Not as good as the Iranian chicks today without the burka

Some absolute stunners

17-06-2014, 10:18 PM
Not as good as the Iranian chicks today without the burka

Some absolute stunners

Vouch for that - I was at a work dinner two weeks ago and one of the guys brought in his Iranian wife - absolutely gorgeous !

18-06-2014, 09:48 AM
For Militia
Proudly sponsored by Tooheys New_ share the cab. FOR THE LOVE OF KALE

Got up Sunday 15th June 2014 at 00:15am after an hour and a half nap. I laid in bed for a few minutes contemplating going back to sleep but it occurred to me getting up would mean getting out of this shithole. Said goodbye to my roommate grabbed the gear and headed downstairs.

Checked out and had a taxi called 2 other Aussies came down at the same time so we agreed to share a cab saving a few bucks in the process. Taxi drove us to airport and then billed us BR$50 for what should have been about BR$35

No one noticed he failed to put the metre on. Anyway being it was only about $3Aud per person it was soon forgotten.

Queued up and checked in. Whilst in the queue started to notice a few things. First up was in massive need of some antacid. That pizza was repeating on me.

Next up was in urgent need of a dump. The next hour and a half involved 3 of these and a sickly feeling. It was about this time the moving of the Imodium this afternoon from the carry on bag to the checked luggage seemed about as good an idea as getting GVE back at the Jets was.

Anyway ponied up and jumped on plane. Was unable to sleep on the 2 hour flight to Sao Paulo Conghonas Airport. I was just about to when the captain announced we were landing.

After a short stop of about 30mins and a visit to the bathroom I was strapped in for the next leg bound for Porto Alegre. Whilst waiting was ready to all off but desperate for a piss. As soon as we were allowed up I was taking the leak.

Within a few minutes of that and it was lights out. Next thing you know I am awoken by the thud of landing in Porto Alegre.

Whilst waiting for gear went to an ATM 2 failures before success and the wallet was loaded again.
Gear collected and reunited with Imodium. Tablets popped and only 1 more visit before it kicked in.

Jumped a taxi to hotel. Was only 9am and wasn’t expecting to check in but hopefully dump gear. Unfortunately our tour group organisers had failed to supply some paperwork and they were refusing to help until this was sorted. Now this was a lot of fun as we had no contact number. Was able to locate someone else on the tour at the nearby hotel.

A few phone calls later and we were in touch and within an hour someone was down to sort issue out.

Checked in and had a shower and slipped on some warmer gear as it is a bit chilly here 18C

Headed downstairs and noticed a large contingent of Aussies. Asked out loud if anyone wanted a ticket to the France v Honduras game. Found a buyer BR$180 cost price

Was glad to be rid as everyone elše I had asked had wanted more than one or already had them. Was glad I wouldn’t have to spend the arvo in search of a buyer

Anyway decided to wander down to the fanzone to catch the earlier game Switzerland V Ecuador.

No charge to get in cheap beer and food. Got a hot dog for BR $10.The thing came with 2franks beans corn onions a cheese that may have been parmesan but smelt a thousand times more like vomit than any other parmesan I had before. Add in the thing had gravy type thing on it and was about the size of a loaf of bread. Enjoyed it but needless to say the thing went everywhere.

Staggered into the toilet in injury time with the score at 1-1. Thought I would get a jump on the crowd with the compulsory an out to leave pass.

Staggered out after a piss to see Switzerland nab a win.

Wandered down to the ground. FIFA deadest have the area around the ground locked up tighter than a nuns ****. I deadest reckon I was closer to the ground when I was half way there than when I was ¾ of the way there.

Took the best part of an hour to get there. Street stalls and entertainment on the way. Fantastic stuff

Got in 30mins before kick off. Have a Cat 3 seat behind the goal France attacked in the first half near the corner flag about 10 rows back.

I had decided to wear my Jets jumper today. Word of advice don’t do this at France games.

People kept thinking I was French I had to explain I hated France like everyone else.

Matter of fact the jumper draws puzzled looks and questions as people want to know about it. Far too many people have no idea on the Griff and his greatness. I am educating the world one at a time though.

It starts off with CR7 and I raise hand then I go Mess and raise hand then I go Griffo and raise hand that little bit higher. They get the message regardless of the language barrier

Crowd had a few thousand French a few thousand Honduras a large contingent of international and the locals. Just before kick-off there was a ruckus in the stand above us. Not sure what happened but it pissed the crowd off who started chanting and singing some song of protest

Game kicked off and it was safe to say the crowd was Pro Honduras wanting to see a Costa Rica type upset. Matter of fact they were anti France at such a level I was surprised.

First up I thought it might have had a lot to do with 98 and 06 WC with France knocking the locals off.
Turns out the French are just hated the world over. NEVER FORGET THAT

France on top from kick off basically doing their own thing. Basically Honduras parked the bus. As the game wore on people just started hating on the Honduras side for not having a go.

Basically the last time the world has seen someone concede defeat so readily and with little fight was the last time the French were in a war.

Anyway France got lucky when Pogba should have seen red. If he had of went it may have been a better game.

Finally after hitting the bar twice France were ahead after a penalty. Benzema tucked it away and headed to celebrate right in front of us.
Second half was basically all France with the Honduras side dogging it.

Bit of controversy with the 2nd goal. The replays on the big screen are shit.

The ball struck the post and the keeper dragged it over the line. For some reason the dimwit running the replay and goal line technology decided to show only the first bit where the ball hadn’t crossed the line. As a result when the goal was awarded the crowd were incensed.

Hate to be at a game where the fans actually cared as it could have ot nasty. No one in the ground bar the French or Hondurans gave a puck about the result and the awarding of the goal wasn’t changing the course or destiny of this one so no one really went off.

The 3rd goal arrived and the game petered out with the only question being how many more France would get.
Spent a bit of time watching the crowd.

**** the French

Today just makes me hate on them more. They are such an arrogant smug bunch of ****s Most of their fans spent all day trying to start a Mexican wave. Plastic ****s.

Took 25mins after FT to clear the ground as some dimwit at FIFA decided to herd one sideline and 2 goals along a 300 metre stretch 15m wide with trees trip hazards drink stands etc in the way in the dark.

What made it even dumber was that the fence could easily have had pieces taken out at intervals to allow the crowd to disperse.
Any idiot wishing to cause trouble would have had 20k people in a spot unable to go nowhere.

Well done dickheads

Grabbed some skewered meat for dinner on the way back at one of the umpteen stands. The stands outside the ground are amazing with all sorts of weird and wonderful food.

Finally made it back to hotel in time for Argentina v Bosnia after 1 hour walk after getting out of ground.

Hit the bed not long after at 10:00pm after a bit of internet absolutely spent

18-06-2014, 11:55 AM
They are such an arrogant smug bunch of ****s Most of their fans spent all day trying to start a Mexican wave. Plastic ****s.

Surely they were all from Marseille (French Gypos)....:roflz::whistling:

18-06-2014, 12:17 PM
Also had a USB stick in there. Nothing I don’t have at home but would be useful here none the less.

It's ok mate, you can say porn on here.

18-06-2014, 12:50 PM
For Militia
Proudly sponsored by Tooheys New_ share the cab. FOR THE LOVE OF KALE

Got up Monday 16th June 2014 at 4:30am after another night with not enough sleep. Showered grabbed the gear and headed downstairs. Reason I was up at this hour was I had a flight to Curitiba at 7am for the must see Iran v Nigeria clash.

Was greeted outside the hotel by about 20 of my countryman being dickheads who were smashed after a big night at the local bars.

Grabbed a taxi from the cab rank and headed to the airport. Taxi driver thought he was Peter Brock as he got us there in anew lap record. FFS we were doing 168-180kms most of the way. Got us to airport without death and billed us BR$42 for the white knuckled ride

Whilst at the airport noticed an interesting concept. The local women here wear these type of tights. The best part about them is the fabric around the crotch is quite tight so if she has shaved or waxed the area it is camel toe paradise. Spent an hour at the airport trying hard to not crack a fat

Anyway Flight no 10 was a blast. I nodded off never got fed and the next thing you knew we were landing in Curitiba after an hour. With no check in luggage I was off the plane and on my way quickly.

On the way out the door was stopped by a rep for Coca Cola offering free promotional samples. Just what was needed to clear the sleepy head.

Jumped on the local bus for $R12 and took the 30 min trip into town. Got off around 9am and with kick off not to 4pm decided to see a bit of the place.

Strolled around and grabbed a pastel for breakfast. These things are similar to a pasties but basically had some vegetable purée inside the pastry.

Got two of them for $R6 and continued the stroll around the sights. Have to say the place is quite good in some parts and what was also pleasing is the camel toe pants were out and about here to

Come 11:30 found my way to the local shopping centre. Reason I was there was reconnaissance work for the getaway tonight as that is where the bus picks up to head back to the airport.

Whilst strolling through there they had a play park. The thing was about 50 metres long and 30 metres wide. The whole thing was Angry Birds so stopped and took some photos for my 4 year old nephew who is in love with Angry Birds.

Found the bus stop and continued on the stroll heading closer to the ground.

Still have the flu and because I won’t stay off the piss and haven’t taken any thing for it and am flogging myself with little sleep I ain't getting better and was feeling it big time

I found a place which wasn’t exactly what I was after but would have to do as I was ****ed and needed to sit down.

Wandered in and ordered a guarana drink. These things are ****ing fantastic and pick you up heaps

Grabbed a plate and helped myself to the buffet. Had Feijoda Rice faroda and some type of sausage. Cut into the sausage and despite it being cured was concerned it was a little pink. Decided when in Rome so soldiered on. The thing was a bit tangy and in need of an accompanying pack of Mylanta.

I had once again been wearing the Jets jumper so was disturbed by 3 locals who spoke a little English who needed enlightening on the wonders of the Griff so I obliged.

Spent some time chatting with them. They were from Sao Paulo and had travelled here today as it was the only World Cup ticket they could get.

It was getting time for kick off for the Germany Portugal clash the boys invited me to join them at a table inside. Settled in with some long necks and glasses to watch the game.

The drink situation here is fantastic. You get a long neck in a chilling container so it stays cold and a glass to pour it into so you can drink at your speed. Usually long necks need rapid-fire drinking to prevent them going flat but not here

The boys were cheering Portugal. Brazil for a former colony of Portugal has a lot of time for Portugal. It ain’t like us cheering whoever is playing England

I tipped Germany as they are my tip for the trophy. Boys weren’t impressed and wanted me to cheer Portugal. I told them they won’t win cause of Pepe.

Through my broken Portuguese the word loco was used. Loco = Crazy

Germans come out and after a brief spell when Portugal gave as good as they got and gradually took the ascendancy. By the time it was 2-0 Pepe decided to get sent off. The cry of loco went up. We then had a good discussion about who else was loco.

Continued drinking chatting and having a few laughs as the game petered out. The bloke running the place wanted to charge me only for the 2 drinks despite the food and umpteen others I had. Feeling guilty I over paid and gave him $BR20. Bloke then gave me a gift of a can cover.

Wandered off to the ground with my new mates who were hitting me up on Facebook as we walked to the ground.

At the military checkpoint the blokes were checking id to tickets. Being that I had a ticket with a decidedly Brazilian name as I picked it up from a local and had no supporting id I had a problem when he asked for id. Told him it was at hotel and he let me through.

Whilst waiting outside the ground noticed quite a few female Iranian fans in western attire. ****ing blown away by how hot some of them were without the burka?? Why??

Got to the ground and me and the boys said our goodbyes and departed for our seats

My first thoughts inside the ground were how many of the opposing sides fans had either a sent me an email saying to send money to receive an inheritance or b were on a CIA watch list for terrorism

Found my seat just before kick-off down in the corner flag area 3 rows back to the end Iran attacked in the first half.

Always wondered why this game was hard to get tickets to. Iran and Nigeria didn’t exactly have large support yet it was hard to get tickets to this game for some reason.

Turns out all the locals were here. The place was a sea of yellow. The fans were here to have a party and experience the World Cup. Highly enjoyable atmosphere.

Game was a bit of a non-event really Nigeria were poor and Iran settled for keeping it tight. A 0-0 draw was a fair result. What isn’t fair is this Budweiser Man of the Match. They just seem to give it every game to the bloke who plays at the biggest club. John Obi Mikael got it more so because he plays at Chelsea rather than his efforts on the pitch.

On another note after watching Shoal Ameobi in the flesh any suggestions this bloke be signed by the Jets should be deleted and the user banned. What a lazy **** he is.

Wandered back to the shopping centre doing a test run for Friday night’s Honduras V Ecuador clash where I need to clear ground and get to airport in well under 2.5hours where as tonight I have a bit more time.

Got back to shopping centre in30mins and jumped on the bus. Had a great time on the bus with 5 Russians. They spoke a few words of English I spoke only 1word of Russian but we made do.

Blokes were telling me Russia will be world champions and that became quite a source of amusement when it was for 2014 2018 2022 2026 etc

The blokes were drinking some liquor and shared it with us. Rocket Fuel it was. Whoo hooroo
We had a discussion on meat in Australia and whether Kangaroo was much good. Going through the list of meats I came to rabbit. Rabbit was confusing them. Thinking fast Bugs Bunny got the point across.

One of the blokes gave us a gift of a Sochi Olympic Rouble coin.
Had a ball of a time and plenty of laughs on the 30 min trip to the airport. Got out had some photos and then got filmed by some TV crew at the airport being goose and hamming it up.

Said the goodbyes checked the time and it had taken an hour from FT to airport. Same Friday please

Went in and grabbed a sandwich for dinner. Basically a rip off of Subway only problem was they put pickles all over it. Not like McDonalds where you flick the 1-2 out the car window but 30.

The USA Ghana game had kicked off and after finishing dinner wetland sat down at the big screen that was set up in the airport.

Went in through Security at HT and bumped into my Russian mates who were boarding a flight. Couple more Russia champions of the world cries

Watched the rest of the game in the boarding gate area. Plane was finally called.

Jumped on and we left a little late. We then spent 15 mins just sitting out in the airfield most likely as we had missed our spot in the queue due to our lateness.

Whilst waiting am sitting there hearing a pile of odd noises coming from the plane. For some reason had a bad feeling about this trip. Anyway we finally got off the ground and despite a period of turbulence which had me on more edge than most due to my earlier paranoia we made it back to Porto Alegre just after 11:30am

Bit of internet time and I hit the bed

All in all a cracking day and thoroughly enjoyed it

18-06-2014, 12:53 PM
It's ok mate, you can say porn on here.
No porn on it just copies of all my shit in case I was to lose something like a passport etc

20-06-2014, 12:00 PM
For Militia
Proudly sponsored by Tooheys New_ FOR THE LOVE OF KALE

Got up Tuesday 17th June 2014 at 11:00am after a good sleep in. Missed breakfast completely and missed also heading out to see the Socceroos rock up for training session in Porto Alegre.

Got the shit together and headed out to Gremio FC. Wanted to go on stadium tour. Took about 1 hour walk to get there.

For some reason Gremio who have a new stadium seating 60k that was built in the last 7-8 years were overlooked for hosting WC games. It was decided to rebuild their rivals ground Internacional seating 45k with tax payer $$ was a more worthwhile idea.

Apparently one of the influential politicians supports Internacional and pulled off this swindle to get his club a new stadium for the WC using public money when there was an adequate existing stadium 3km up the road. Can see why some of the locals are passed about FIFA and Brazil hosting the WC.

Trotted in and through some bent Portuguese asked if there was a tour on. As no one spoke any Ingles and they weren’t understanding my Portuguese I had to get the phone out for some translation app work.

One of the girls replied back on it that someone was coming to see me.

Whilst waiting had about 15 women swooning about me.

Thought for a second my fly was undone as you don’t get that sort of attention unless you wander into a brothel with a fistful of fifties.
Obviously the Jets E&C top was getting them excited

Eventually another lady came and she spoke English. She told me at present no tours for the WC period as FIFA had commandeered ground for WC team training.

Was able to look around the outside only. They have a kick arse warm up pitch and also had 2 team buses with Gremio decals and Gremio players all over them. Seriously Tinks need one of these things to pay homage to the Griff.

Went and then checked the club shop out. The joint as everything Gremio you can think of. Prices though a little steep and no great bargains to be had.

Wandered back to some shops I had passed and grabbed a hot dog for lunch. Paid barely $2.50Aud and the thing was the size of a loaf of bread. Place defied some WH&S laws with a small counter area and the kitchen upstairs. They were using a pull system to deliver items up and down and had a staircase that defies belief safety wise.

After that decided to head back to hotel and caught the 2nd half of Belgium V Algeria.
At FT decided to make tracks to get a good spot for the upcoming Brazil v Mexico game.

The street nearby was loaded with bars and even an hour early were quite full. Found my mate from Newy wandering the street also and we found somewhere and settled in front of the box knocking back long necks.

Another planned AFD down the drain. How much do livers go for on the black market cause I ain’t far from buying??

Crowd was on edge all game and roared loudly when Brazil nearly scored. Was cheering for Brazil for 2 reasons
1 I have ticket to see the winner of their group and
2 the place would have gone off if they scored one.

Being that it finished 0-0 will now mean that it will make the final game matter.

Have seen Brazil play a few times in the last month and they don’t impress me at all. I will go on record now saying they won’t win the WC without it being a FIFA deal

Had hamburger and chips for dinner whilst watching the game. Hamburger was huge and good value at BR$16 so good value.

Well the party in the street got going at FT. Basically everyone stood on the middle of the road blocking traffic drinking. Love to see what it would have been like if Brazil won because it was a great atmosphere and they hadn’t.

Staggered back to hotel at 11:30pm pissed again after a good night.
Big day tomorrow with the Socceroos on otherwise would have been out later

20-06-2014, 12:04 PM
For Militia
Proudly sponsored by Tooheys New_ FOR THE LOVE OF KALE

Got up Wednesday18th June 2014 at 06:30am hung over again.
No need to pander to it as today is game day v the Dutch.

Last night out and about the streets of Porto Alegre lets just say the Dutch hotties were out in force and today would be more of the same.

Had two toasted ham and cheese sandwiches for breakfast. Wish I hadn’t it took nearly 15 mins to get the jaffle machine hot enough. Some fruit salad and cereal and we were ready to go.

Headed out front to await our bus which was to take it to the pre match function. Bus was cancelled as Fifa had blocked the streets around the ground and our venue was 200m from the stadium. Glaring oversight from our tour group as the situation was the same on Sunday for the France v Honduras clash and the same every other ground

Set off on foot and had no idea where I was going as I had missed the previous function when I went to see Iran v Nigeria.
This presented a problem when I had to call in to take a pass at the servo. When I was done the group I was following were gone.

Headed to the stadium anyway and whilst walking past the ground the dress rehearsals for the sound were being done. First the entrance music and then the national anthems.

Managed to find the function centre after1hr 10mins walk staggered in hair of the dog time. Knocked off a few beers to some samba music and some Brazilian dancers.

Now let’s just say they were scantily clad. G strings and tops barely covering or holding in their TITS. Seriously have not seen so much exposed skin since the last time I went to Crazyhorse

How they coped in the environment amazed me as everyone else had hoodie on and were freezing.
Well they started dancing. **** me.

There dancing is exceptional. Add in the fact they are scantily clad and tits arse and flesh are shaking everywhere it was hard work not to draw wood

Ordered a caprinha just before leaving. Not certain there was anything non-alcoholic in it. **** it was strong.

Joy of this place you buy a drink and it is yours to take with you so you can walk out of a bar with.
So I was walking around drinking the thing as I queued. Had to be drank before entering ground as FIFA are strict on no liquids entering ground.

In the ground I went. Was in no hurry to get in the stadium itself as it was still an hour to kick off but in desperate need of a piss had to go past the ticket scanners to do so.

Went and headed to my seat. Was up the far end from where I was France game.

Pretty pissed off with seats as I paid $US 175 for category 1 and was dumped 15yards behind the goal line and was 20rows back.
Considering I paid $US 90 for my Cat 3 the other day and had a similar view and was actually closer you can imagine my disgust.

Was actually sitting next to the same people at the Chile game also.

Players came out to warm up and was relieved no Milligan. Bloke is over rated heaps

Once again our team had a long warm up yet our opponent had a much shorter warm up. Why is this so??

Teams come out for national anthem and we let rip. We won that hands down game kicked off and we took it to them. We dominated possession and field position and stuck it right up them.

First chance Holland get Robben runs 50 metres and scores. The defending was disgraceful. First up from McGowan who after ballsing up dealing with the ball he couldn’t knock Robben over when he tried to foul him. FFS that bloke falls over in a light wind.

Then whoever was in the centre who decided it was better to stick with host man and not leave him to stop Robben shooting. Who teachers these shit ****s defending??

Anyway after a bright opening spell the heads dropped thinking the party is now over. What was the most crushing aspect to it all was we never made Holland work for their goal. We handed them the lead on a platter. FFS.

Well they only dropped for less than a minute thanks to our Timmy.

As we were down the far end we got excited early as we could see the flight of the ball and could see out Timmy had space. Having no idea how far out he was we were expecting his head to be the weapon. No left foot first time volley to a ball across the body in off the underside of the bar.

The place went off. Cracking goal and parity on the score board. Our crowd who had been ripping the Dutch a new arsehole now had the bit between the teeth and ramped it up some more.

Half time came and we were stoked as we had dominated the game and deserved to be in front. The consensus was the Dutch would up the ante in the second half and blow us away.

No we didn’t get that. The boys came out and continued to rip in. Leckie had the ball in the net. Delirium until the **** with this whistle ruled it out.

A few minutes later and we were awarded what in my opinion was a soft penalty. Who cares though? We went off.

The tension as Jedinak waited to take it was palpable and the only reason he scored was my personal prayer to Lord Griff to not allow the Gypo to **** it up.

When it went in the feeling was surreal. Grown men kissing one another people grabbing total strangers. Awesome. Whatever floats your boat

The next 5 mins was unbelievable. Everyone was in a state of disbelief as we were less than 40 mins to knocking off one of the elite teams in a WC and we hadn’t arsed it but had deserved it

Next up was the moment that in hindsight cost us winning 6-3. With a full head of steam up we won possession in the Dutch half and streamed forward. We had about a 5-2advantage and an overshot pass from Timmy ****ed it all up.

Not long later the **** who should have been sent off RVP levelled it up as the defence once again gave it to them.

Back at them we came and Oar crossed for Leckie who for some strange reason chested it at goal instead of diving header and then run into the crowd to celebrate.

As soon as he done this I knew we would lose. It was just such a dumb thing to do.

Sure enough we fell behind moments later. Some unknown Dutch player shot from 35yards and the GYPO **** in goals helped it into the net. ****king disgraceful play and the **** ought to be deported for it.
Haven’t seen a **** up like that since Birraz effort in the f3.

Anyway after that effort you definitely knew we wouldn’t win and that would be the defining moment of the game.

Did get too see Newys own Taggz get on the park. Made some good runs but was ignored by his teammates. Poor kid barely got a kick

Anyway fulltime came and the feeling was odd. Irritation that we could have and should have won that one.

Also disgust for the dumb **** Gypo in goals who threw a towel over his head to hide in shame after COSTING US THE ****ING GAME

Apparently people around me think I am a **** for letting the Gypo know exactly what I thought of him and his incompetence
Care factor 0

Hopefully Ange will do the right thing and give Langerak a go.

The Gypo has barely had **** all to do and when he has had something to do hasn’t saved shut

Walked out of the ground to the function. Had a feed cashed in some coupons and ****ed off. Better parties then this one about.

Headed back into town and every local who knew some English had to come and say we was robbed. Took 90mins to get back to hotel. Dumped gear.

Went and joined the Dutch having a party around the corner.

Night was a blast once again getting smashed going from bar to bar and having crowds block off streets for partys

20-06-2014, 01:42 PM
First chance Holland get Robben runs 50 metres and scores. The defending was disgraceful. First up from McGowan who after ballsing up dealing with the ball he couldn’t knock Robben over when he tried to foul him. FFS that bloke falls over in a light wind.

Then whoever was in the centre who decided it was better to stick with host man and not leave him to stop Robben shooting. Who teachers these shit ****s defending??

Pretty sure it wasnt Mcgowan it was Wilkinson (just to make you even happier about it) and holding the space in the box was Spira. He didnt hold his man he was trying to shut down the angle so ryan could go closer to his near post. In the end it was a great finish.

You sound like you have a tough time watching and supporting a team that you hate a large number of the players.

20-06-2014, 07:41 PM
Life must be tough when you can't even enjoy a WC like this one, in Brazil.

22-06-2014, 02:05 AM
depends on how much emotion you invest. There are some players in our squad who deserved to get a MKS messeage rammed up their kyber. yep wilko for being a soft kvnt, ryan for letting in stuff hed save for gypos. but most of all keeping fkwit neil in the side until close to the wc knowing we needed to organise a new back 4. should have dropped him at least 2yrs ago and started forming the new backline who are no chance right now. what have we really learned but to keep hearing that this once again is a learning experience.
sh1t getting old.

22-06-2014, 03:12 AM
For Militia
Proudly sponsored by Tooheys New FOR THE LOVE OF KALE

Got up Thursday 19th June 2014 at 06:30am hung over again.

Checking out today and getting coach to Florianopolis. After shower and gear sorted headed downstairs for breakfast. Eggs and ham and a few cheese bread balls.

Everyone mood was a little frustrated. The Socceroos were out and the feeling was we shouldn’t be in this predicament. Disgraceful defending and poor finishing cost us victories in 2 games. The effort and commitment displayed will be nowhere near the level of teams that will advance in weaker groups

Headed back upstairs grabbed the gear and heeded to reception for check out. That done headed outside 10 mins early for bus. Checked the gear on got checked off the list.

The bus was to leave at 8am but nothing ever gets done here on time. There was some type of list balls up and everyone needed rechecking and we didn’t depart to 09:45am. Add in the fact people were still arriving at 9am and that didn’t help

Our guide got on the mic and started giving us the run down on the states of Brazil we were in and going to. Gave everyone the shits until he shut up. Everyone wanted to kip.

On the way and unable to see shit due to the condensation build up on the window from people breathing so settled in and had a 90 min kip

Woke up slipped some music on and an hour later we pulled up for lunch. Wise idea to have 25 buses converge on the one spot and not on several of the umpteen rest stops about.

Bloke who came up with that idea needs to be consulted by Middleby as he would be a huge asset to HSG

We were one of the last buses to arrive and with queues a mile long for a feed went to a nearby shop and got a bag of chips a drink of Guarana and some wafer biscuits.

An hour later we got back on the bus and again had to wait for 20mins before leaving

The arvo run took forever. Lowlight of the trip was someone dropping the score of the England v Uruguay clash that was being taped to be shown when we arrived at our hotel. Thanks dickeads.

Most amazing aspect is they were able to get internet connection on the bus as everyone around me wasn’t able to.

2nd lowlight was the bag of chips I bought. They tasted alright but smelt worse than vomit. Could only eat a few before the smell put me off plus the concern they may have been off and possible food poisoning setting in

When we arrived at Florianopolis our diver stopped and got out to help his colleague who had broken down. Another hour down the drain.
**** we are on a roll for useless needless **** ups

By the time we arrived at our hotel it was just after 6pm. Faarrking ridiculous that a 470km trip takes around 10 hours.
Wish I had of flown as it would have been an hour tops.

Checked in which was fun with hundreds trying at the same time.

Met my new room mate who informed me he had been here since 3pm and had left after 9am. Why the difference in travel time I am bemused.

Once again internet issues so head back to reception and find you have to pay. Show them the fibre of my fabric and get access. Sort of.
It works when it wants and is worse than dial up.

Anyway the place we are staying at is a huge resort right on the beach. Can see the ocean even in the dark. During daylight the view must be spectacular

Head back to reception and organise a cab for tomorrow morning at 6am. I am off by bus again to Curitiba for the Honduras V Ecuador clash. R$100 agreed fixed price which I am content with as the bus station is a good 50km away

Head down for dinner. Mass hall set up R$80 for a buffet. Food was fantastic. Had some veges!! Never enjoyed steamed carrot broccoli etc as much on my life.
Thank Griff.

Everything about the dinner was quality almost wedding reception quality but no dishes involving pheasant or some of other obscure meat

Being that so far I had endured an AFD the temptation to have a beer or 20 was there. Considering it was on the house so to speak (Well it isn’t I am paying for it in my stay costs) made it harder but I stuck to the water juice and soft drinks.

When the England v Uruguay came in I barely watched. Ain’t the same when you know who won.

Headed back to room early and left the rest to watch the game and to try and check in for my flight.

Had some type of issue and the message came back in Portuguese. Thanks to my tablet I am unable to use Google Chrome and the auto translate feature so have no idea what it was.

Thanks Microsoft

Your shit translation thing works when it wants and is crap and it is a disgrace I am unable to use chrome or Firefox and have to ice your spiteful IE

Unable to check in and getting frustrated at my shit internet connection hit the sack at 10pm as I was up early again and had succeeded in the AFD plan.

24-06-2014, 10:19 PM
I ain't dead
Just been hectic the last few days

Am currently in transit at Sao Paulo bound for the England v Costa Rica game

My 4.5 hour cab ride on Friday.is a jaffa

Might be a day or 2 before I catch up

24-06-2014, 10:54 PM
Thank god u alive... Was getting really worried here... Gosford and his mayor started celebrations...

26-06-2014, 12:49 PM
For Militia
Proudly sponsored by Tooheys New FOR THE LOVE OF KALE

Got up Friday 23rd June 2014 at 05:20am.

Quick shower and try and sort my shit out in the dark so as not to disturb my room mate.

Grab the gear and head to reception. My taxi is waiting 40 mins later and I am at the bus depot. Head in and redeem my ticket from my email print out. Grab something to eat and wait for an hour and jump on board.

Remember ****ing little of the trip. The bus depot is right at the bridge that leads off the island. I was asleep before we made the bridge. Got a good 3.5 hours in and by the time I awoke we were approaching the city limits of Curitiba.

Had picked up a ticket for the Honduras V Ecuador affair. Was one of the first I got and I only went for it as at the time I had no tickets and demand was low and it seemed a wise idea to pick up whatever tickets you could at that stage to see as many games as you could.

Got into the bus depot in Curitiba at just before Midday. Am heading back to Curitiba but am pretty occupied with matches when I am there so am taking the time to see the sights. Headed down to the Estacio Shopping as I knew I could get the city tourist bus there from my visit Monday.

Whilst waiting spotted some bloke dealing drugs openly on the street. Bit of an eye opener as you don’t really see that back home out in the open like this. Made sure to ignore and not stare as you don’t know what they are carrying likely to do.

Was relieved the bus rocked up and jumped on. The thing was packed with Ecuadorians in town for the game. R$25 for the tour. Jump on board and got on and off at a few interesting places. The trip round took about 3 hours non stop. By the time I got off it was 5pm and time to head to the game.

Made the couple of kilometre walk and got there 90 mins before kick off. Headed in and took a tour of the stadium.

Headed to my seat and found an Aussie sitting in front of us. Had a good chat.

As the teams come out to warm up noticed the world’s biggest ****wit Ben Williams was the ref. This was the first time I had laid eyes on the **** since the night he sent the Griff off at his triumphant return to Newy.

As the prick warmed up right in front of us I went down the front to get close and gave him the finger called him every name under the sun and made sure he got the message.

As I was wearing the E&C Jets top and mentioned Griff enough he would have got the point when he eyeballed me I knew he noticed.

Game kicked off. Some impressive forwards for Ecuador but after Zura probably not the type for the Jets

Honduras nicked the lead which set the game up well. Ecuador equalised soon after and good old Ben Williams developed a new legion of haters by disallowing a Honduras goal on HT.

Second half seen Ecuador take the lead with about 25 to go. They then parked the bus and didn’t play. Honduras took control without looking like equalising.

Ben Williams then denied the Ecuadorian striker a hatty for a hand ball of dubious nature and he had another legion of haters.

Game finished at 2-1 Ecuador. Headed out at 9pm having to race to the airport for my flight in 2hours 15mins. Being I was leaving a game and airport was a distance away it was cutting it fine

Made it back to the shopping centre quickly. Jumped the bus quickly and was at the airport at 9:45pm with 1.5 hours to spare.

Check in on the automatic machines and some type of issue. Head to the counter and some type of issue. Nothing was said to me as the supervisor was called. Turns out the flight had been cancelled months ago.

Airline tried telling me they contacted all the passengers months ago. Advised that I had heard nothing. I then pulled my phone out and showed them emails they had sent in the last few weeks and 3 days ago saying we were good to go.

Bloke then looked up my reservation on the internet and it was still showing up as good to go.

Just then a pile of people rocked up who had the same story as me. Cluster**** up of epic proportions for the airline.
Situation was resolved with 2 offers.

Offer 1 flight tomorrow morning
Offer 2 taxi at airlines expense to Florianopolis

Not wanting to spend the night in the airport took the taxi option.

Were gonna drop me at the airport or bus station but pushed it and got them to drop me at hotel which was another 45 mins away saving me paying for and finding another taxi in Florianopolis in the early hours

They filled out a voucher and instructed me to hand it to a taxi outside.

Headed out and gave it to the cabbie. Blokes looked at me like the look you would get if you dropped your pants and took a dump on the floor of Westfield Kotara in Centre Court when the kiddies were lining up to see Santa

Not believing me we headed back to the terminal to see Azul the airline. After speaking with them he got the word it was real and we loaded up the cab

Introductions were made he was named Jimmy. Went to the local servo and filled up.

Jimmy called the boss and let him know what was going on. We hit the road and got 5km up the road. 1.5 hours later we had done about 3km after traffic jam. Found out the reason. A little hatchback was under the wheels of a semi. Ouch.

No one in the car by the time we passed but unlikely the passengers in the hatch will be healthy or alive.

Once past it Jimmy cracked up the speed. We were doing 140-160km on a road similar to the dreaded Swansea bends. The vehicle was rattling and pushing limits that NASA’s Apollo program would have not passed.

Was tempted to get some sleep but was afraid to close the eyes as it may have been the last thing I ever seen. Watching as we took each bend at high speed seemed like it took the edge of not watching.

After about 30 mins outside of Curitiba started getting paranoid. There was very little to stop Jimmy dropping me off on the highway in the dark in the middle of nowhere and telling the airline he took me to Florianopolis. Could have robbed us taking my luggage anything. Outside the car was literally bushland and a place Ivan Milat would have been scared to go.

After about 2.5 hours we stopped at a roadhouse on the highway. Quick piss and back in the taxi. Far too many odd characters hanging about at 2am

Finally made the hotel at 3:20am after a 4.5hour taxi ride.

Left Jimmy with a $R 100 tip. As he drove me to my hotel he had saved me more than that in cab fare from airport anyway
Also advised him to fleece the airline for heaps via Google translate

Sat up to 4am absolutely perplexed it had been a bizarre day with a 4.5hr 350km taxi ride

26-06-2014, 12:55 PM
For Militia
Proudly sponsored by Tooheys New FOR THE LOVE OF KALE

Got up Saturday 21st June 2014 at 09:00am
Weird feeling to wake up not hung over from alcohol but more from lack of sleep exhaustion still bemused at last nights cab ride

My activity disturbed my room mate who also awoke.

Poor sod got in at 6am after a night out at the Fatboy Slim concert on the beach I had missed due to last nights shenanigans in Curitiba.
Headed down for breakfast. OJ cereal and fruit and some egg and ham quiche thing

Headed back to room for a shower. Shoved the Socceroos top on and went in with it. Cake of soap cleaned and hung out to dry. Not certain I will get to a laundry before the Spain game and it needed a bit of TLC

Hung out to dry on our balcony. Lovely sunny day with a splendid view over the beach. Decided to go for a stroll along the thing. Good couple of km walk to the end of beach. Then another hike up the hill to the high point. Spectacular views of the nearby coastline.

Headed back to room and caught the remainder of the Argentina v Iran clash highlighted by a sublime finish from Messi to win it in injury time

Headed down to the pool and socialised over a few drinks for the Germany Ghana clash

Back to the room for a shower and then down for dinner.

On the way down caught up with some blokes who had a game of golf today.
My mate from Newy was one of them. He started filling me in on the day they had and the conversation turned to golf in Newy region. I started talking about various golf courses in Gods country.

This bloke then asked me if I was from Newy.
Considering he was wearing a Jets replica shirt. I was wearing a Jets jumper and I was giving a great run down with intimate knowledge of the Newy region I was a little bemused with the question to say the least. Needless to say everyone who heard him put plenty of shit on him for his stupidity

Feed was again fantastic highlight once again was the vegies. They do have vegies here but it is a joy just to have carrot broccoli cauliflower etc as they ain’t seen often enough

Dinner was meant to include a chat with Stan the Man Lazarides telling stories and answering questions

After being there for 2 hours and no sign of him and the band playing I decided to call it a night. Can imagine my disgust as I was walking out Stan was walking in
Headed back to room anyway. My roommate had a couple of blokes in for a drink.

One of them turned out to be my next room mate so we had a good chat to get to know one another. The other bloke is known as The Minister. Short for Minister for Veterans Affairs. Apparently has a penchant for old ladies

Few more beers and hit bed at 12:30am. Not a real wise idea when we are up at 5:30am to check out but I have done dumber and a bus trip tomorrow offers good opportunity to catch up on sleep

26-06-2014, 12:58 PM
For Militia
Proudly sponsored by Tooheys New FOR THE LOVE OF KALE

Got up Sunday 22nd June 2014 at 05:30am.

Lets just say todays day was almost as bad as hearing the news that GVE was reappointed as Jets coach Middleby was reappointed to a life time deal, the Jets signed Hutcho and Griff signed for the Gypos all on the same day

What a **** of a day.

Started off with a quick shower tidy the gear up and head down for breakfast. Had some scrambled eggs and calabrese a spicy pepperoni like sausage. Washed it down with some tropical like juice I mistook for the OJ. Wasn’t bad though

Headed back to room to grab gear to check out. First up my swipe card malfunction. Had to buzz the roommate to wake him up to let us in.

Then head up to check out. 30 mins in the queue and it was time to wait for the bus.
We were bound for Curitiba for the Socceroos v Spain game tomorrow.

Bus was to take us an from my experience Friday it is 30-40 mins from hotel to bus terminal in Florianopolis and another 4 hours to the terminal in Curitiba which is only a few blocks from our hotel. So being we had an 8am departure we should be there 1pm-2pm
Lets just say this didn’t happen.

At 8am after sitting round in the cold air for an hour we still weren’t on the bus. All of a sudden the buses drove off. Rumours circulated they were on strike.
Glad to see the investment in more beer less sleep to make it up on the bus in the morning plan had backfired

Around 9:30am we were moved up to the football field. Luggage and all had to be dragged 300m over some rugged terrain

When we got there we could see the buses on the other side of the field. We stood on the other side of the field and a Mexican standoff occurred.

Heap of blokes got out on the field and what started as 4v4 in the penalty box ended up 30v30 on the full size pitch.

EVENTUALLY the issue was resolved and we were told to get on a bus. Once again had to lug the gear another 300m over some rough terrain. As by now we had been told a pile of stories from the tour organisers I was less inclined to believe them

We were told to see our tour guide which to me was humorous as in over 10 days I still hadn’t met mine.

Tried asking one of the tour lackys if it was the same bloke I arrived with. Whilst he was trying to answer me someone chose to speak their mind. A slinging match ensued with insults flying everywhere. Ended up walking away after trying to repeat my query several times as they were more interested in arguing with the paying punters

Found a bus driver who spoke English who informed me the issue was to do with paperwork. People had to go on the bus they came to Florianopolis on due to Brazilian regulations. Our tour group wanted to change this to have people on the same bus going to the same hotel.

What irritates me the most is this is why you go on a tour. To not have to deal with these type of hassles. It irritates me that the 1500people on the tour were used as leverage and our time was wasted. I also find it baffling that our tour dis organisers took over 3.5 hours to organise a compromise and get us going. After all that is what you are paying the over inflated prices for on a tour

In the meantime we were like mushrooms. Kept in the dark an fed shit

Another hour later and it was midday and we finally departed. Another hour stop over for lunch and we reached our hotel in Curitibia at 7:30pm
Being that we were meant to leave at 8am and had a 300km trip we should have been there at 2pm today was a joke. I done the same distance in a bus on Friday in 4hours with no stop

Another hour of check in due to a couple of hundred people arriving at the same time and I got in the room at 8:45pm. I had missed all 3 games today.

Headed out for a burger and another wait of 45 mins as they were snowed under with demand. Found a shop grabbed half a dozen beers and headed back to the hotel with my roommate to polish them off and drink away our frustrations.

Basically the whole day was wasted due to the incompetence of our tour group who covered themselves in a level of incompetent glory that even Middleby will never surpass

26-06-2014, 01:58 PM
As the teams come out to warm up noticed the world’s biggest ****wit Ben Williams was the ref. This was the first time I had laid eyes on the **** since the night he sent the Griff off at his triumphant return to Newy.

As the prick warmed up right in front of us I went down the front to get close and gave him the finger called him every name under the sun and made sure he got the message.

As I was wearing the E&C Jets top and mentioned Griff enough he would have got the point when he eyeballed me I knew he noticed.

KUTGW Member, he's doing the South Korean game as well if you can make it to that.

26-06-2014, 02:09 PM
KUTGW Member, he's doing the South Korean game as well if you can make it to that.
Guess who got into Sao Paulo tonight and has tickets for the game:yay:

26-06-2014, 02:14 PM
For Militia
Proudly sponsored by Tooheys New FOR THE LOVE OF KALE

Got up Monday 23rd June 2014 at 7:30am.

Headed down to breakfast which was probably the worst I have had on the trip. Very plain and bland and they had no eggs at all
Headed back up for a shower and to don the war paint etc for the final match v Spain

Being that our tour dis organisers had ****ed up yesterday was wondering how they would make it up to us.

Once again let down as we were made to walk to our pre match function venue. Was allegedly 2.9km away at most but when it took me over 1 hour to get there.

What made it even worse was the place they marked it on the map was wrong. We had to walk much further than where they indicated.

Place was spectacular. Old school stately home yard etc in the guts of the city.
Settled in for a few drinks which was the only reason I came. Considering the open bar policy never stopped I was reluctant to leave.

Charlie Yankos was interviewed on stage and offered some fantastic tales of days past.
Bozza and Lazarides eventually joined Yankos for some opinion on the upcoming game.

Bozza informed us he had 10k ripped out of his bank account after using his CC in Brazil. I found the story bizarre considering he had been to a door doof concert the other night where people take and buy drugs everywhere and he is now short some money. Draw the dots.

One thing he did say blew me away. He was telling us he loves his job on Foxtel doing the HAL and EPL but the last few years doing the Socceroos he has hated.

Reason being we have been embarrassing and poor to watch with that many issues being neglected and him and the panel have been made to talk it up by the powers that be instead of speaking their mind. Once those two 6-0 drubbings occurred they were only then allowed to speak

Got a brief apology for yesterdays shit fest which doesn’t cut it for me. It just isn’t good enough

Went out and joined in some songs being sung

Iniestas gonna win **** all
Fernando Torres can not score
Your on the first plane back to Madrid

Were the cream of the crop.
Chargēd to the ground pretty pumped. The last 2 games gave us cause for hope.

The first few minutes we looked up for it with Spain making many errors.

As the game settled we lost it well before the first goal. Spain slowed the pace of the game down to speeds that remind me of watching GVEs Jets. Australia fell into the same trap and chose to play the same slow game.

As a result our chance of getting a result by hitting them hard and fast on the counter were null and void. Add in we ain’t beating them at their game

Did get to see Taggz start. Bloke looked star struck and was behind the play all day. His team mates rarely played him the ball when they could have. What was bad was he wasn’t running defensively. No great surprise to see him removed at HT

Anyway Spain eventually took the lead after great build up play. Have heard people be critical of our defence but we were actually pulled apart by the genius of Iniesta. Slowed the speed down waited for a runner to catch someone out and they were away. Villa with the back heel flick finish

By then game set and match

Did get to see a collectors edition with a Fernando Torres goal. Yes Torres actually scored. Once again Iniesta laying the chance on the platter.

Spain even grabbed a 3rd to give some respectability to their dominance.

At least with the 3 goals we were picked apart by their play and we didn’t hand them to them on a platter.

All in all the game was a poor game to watch. Forget the result it wasn’t exciting.

I found joy on watching that Iniesta bloke run around and do his thing.

There was one time that just blew me away. With a ball arriving at an awkward height and 3 blokes arriving to tackle he somehow got it away to a bloke behind him. What was amazing is he knew he was there because he weren’t looking that way and then had the talent to manipulate the ball where he wanted to send it.

Sign him up to feed the Griff thinks. FFS

Full time came and watching Australia at the World Cup was over this tourney.

What it also means that I now officially won my bet with WLG and their will be no last minute reprieve for Luca$h

Timmy came on the field and led the players over to thank the fans.

Correction he wasn’t the first. Alex Wilkinson done a lap of dishonour on his own. Dumb ****

Made my way out if the ground and walked it back to the hotel.

Thoughts were well that was basically the performance ẃe expected from the Socceroos all tourney. Add in the fact our blokes don’t play midweek and we are gonna struggle playing our 3rd game in 10days against an opponent who does that all the time.

We finished exactly as expected 3 losses we aimed up well in 2 games and stuck it to our opponent and we built for the future. Hopefully we learn some lessons from this on squad reservation playing friendlies and picking the right coaches etc

Helped a couple of Aussies out who were lost and guided them back to hotel.

Dumped the gear quick freshen up and out for several beers. Also to watch the Brazil game v Camerooes as they call it here.

Went for a bit of a hike and I found myself up in the historical section of town. There were a couple of thousand celebrating well before kick off.

Unable to get a table headed to a shop and bought 4tinnies and stood outside watching as the game kicked off.

Place erupted as soon as Neymar put the hosts in front. I was stoked as I have a M49 ticket and am keen to see Brazil top the group.

When Camerooes levelled the sigh in the crowd was deafening. More so me who stood to have scored a great ticket through great fortune only to see it turn to shit if these blokes didn’t pull their socks up

When Neymar put Brazil back in front a short time later the party was back on.

Went and grabbed some more tinnies as the score kept going up in Brazil favour I was celebrating more than the locals with my vested interest

Fulltime and the place went off. Even more so than me when I found out it would be Brazil Chile Saturday

Crazy times. Got shattered drinking, socialising and enjoying the atmosphere but had to pack it up early as I needed to be up at 4am tomorrow. Made it into bed by 10pm

26-06-2014, 02:17 PM
EVENTUALLY the issue was resolved and we were told to get on a bus. Once again had to lug the gear another 300m over some rough terrain. As by now we had been told a pile of stories from the tour organisers I was less inclined to believe them

We were told to see our tour guide which to me was humorous as in over 10 days I still hadn’t met mine.

Tried asking one of the tour lackys if it was the same bloke I arrived with. Whilst he was trying to answer me someone chose to speak their mind. A slinging match ensued with insults flying everywhere. Ended up walking away after trying to repeat my query several times as they were more interested in arguing with the paying punters

Found a bus driver who spoke English who informed me the issue was to do with paperwork. People had to go on the bus they came to Florianopolis on due to Brazilian regulations. Our tour group wanted to change this to have people on the same bus going to the same hotel.

What irritates me the most is this is why you go on a tour. To not have to deal with these type of hassles. It irritates me that the 1500people on the tour were used as leverage and our time was wasted. I also find it baffling that our tour dis organisers took over 3.5 hours to organise a compromise and get us going. After all that is what you are paying the over inflated prices for on a tour

In the meantime we were like mushrooms. Kept in the dark an fed shit

Another hour later and it was midday and we finally departed. Another hour stop over for lunch and we reached our hotel in Curitibia at 7:30pm
Being that we were meant to leave at 8am and had a 300km trip we should have been there at 2pm today was a joke. I done the same distance in a bus on Friday in 4hours with no stop

Another hour of check in due to a couple of hundred people arriving at the same time and I got in the room at 8:45pm. I had missed all 3 games today.

Headed out for a burger and another wait of 45 mins as they were snowed under with demand. Found a shop grabbed half a dozen beers and headed back to the hotel with my roommate to polish them off and drink away our frustrations.

Basically the whole day was wasted due to the incompetence of our tour group who covered themselves in a level of incompetent glory that even Middleby will never surpass

Sounds like standard organisational fare for the Fantiki crew.

26-06-2014, 02:24 PM
For Militia
Proudly sponsored by Tooheys New FOR THE LOVE OF KALE

Woke up Tuesday 24th June at 2:30am.

Being that I was set to get up to head to Belo Horizonte for the England v Costa Rica clash at 4am you can imagine my mood when my room mate stumbled in smashed with some Brazilian bird in tow that he had pulled.

Now what really disappoints me is that he could have brought one of her friends to keep me company or if that ain’t happening remember the old chestnut.

Get Your End In Get Your Friend In
Needless to say there was no repatriation coming my way for being woken up

Poor bastards fooled around for about an hour as I tried to sleep. As soon as I jumped in the shower at 3:45am could her noise occurring with something hitting the wall.

Finished in the shower and grabbed the gear and headed down to grab a taxi to the airport

Bumped into a few boys loitering outside the hotel after a big night out whom informed me there was a strip club up the road like 50m from the hotel. Went up and had a look and came back to tell them it weren’t The red light they were seeing indicates traffic exiting the building so pedestrians need to take care. Not sluts are in da house

Jumped a taxi to the airport. When I got there tried paying the bill. Bloke tried ripping me off. Tried telling me I had to pay 30% more with the calculator and some sign language. Obviously tries this trick on a few non locals but this wasn’t my frost rodeo.

Pointed out to him that he is trying to rip me off. I was already on the night rate of band 2 not the day rate of band 1
Bloke was caught out high and dry and his con had failed.

Called the taxi supervisor over who spoke some English. Whilst the argument was on going between all of us I threw the correct bill onto the bonnet and walked off

No one came after me.

Headed in and checked in and awaited the flight to Belo Horizonte at 6:28am. Had a stopover in Sao Paulo for the connecting flight to Belo

Flight to SP took barely 40mins but we spent a lot of time in plane before leaving.
Went for a walk around the terminal in SP looking for an ATM. You would think you would find at least 1 behind security but was unable to.

Finally was able to log onto WIFI at an airport. The setup is a joke. You need to put in your Brazilian tax file number which is a bit hard if you don’t have one. Either that or you download an app for tourists. Once this is done you sign up and should be right to go. Only problem is it keeps telling you your password is wrong when it ain’t.

Was able to get a connection with a Mastercard Gratis line. The only problem is Mastercard are now gonna be spamming some email address that don’t exist. Oh well

After spending 15 mins ****ing around to get on I then posted on the foz to let everyone know I wasn’t dead. When I looked up no one was at the gate. Looked at the time and thought I have missed boarding and am up shit creek. Found a TV and found we had been moved to a new gate. Phew

Eventually boarded plane and got a 30min kip in.
Arrived at 10am. First thing I did was remove the jumper as it was 30C and a cracking day.

Went and found an ATM and got some money and then wandered out.

Found they were doing buses to the Stadium for today’s match for $R10 each way. Booked a return ticket. Considering the airport is 30-40km outside the city was expecting to pay a motza in a cab there and back so was stoked at this deal.
Settled in for the ride which took 45 mins.

Bus drove us straight past the ground and then dropped us a km up the road.
Place was swarming with crowd.

Seen many of the Pom chav wannabes with their shifty tattoos shirts off and expensive clothes drinking piss and living up to the stereotype.

Found it bemusing England now have a star on their shirt as it seems ridiculous that they have won a WC looking at the shut state of their NT in my lifetime

Went into the ground and the security were anal. Kept pulling everyone up for the most minor things make up deodorant bag of chips water and confiscating the lot.

Was relieved to get past the ticket scanner as I was impersonating a female according to the name on the ticket.
Secondly it was a bought ticket on the second hand market so getting in meant I hadn’t been ripped off with a fake

Had arranged to meet someone at 12:00pm for another ticket purchase.

Having a bit of time to kill took the tour around the place. Spectacular stadium even if round.

Went and waited for my ticket purchase. Whilst waiting spent time being camera man for people taking photos of people with the ground as a backdrop. At one stage had 4 phones/cameras in my hands that weren’t mine.

Bloke finally made it at 12:40pm after being held up in the chaos outside
Deal done and headed over to my seat.

Wearing my Jets shirt meant I got stopped by a fair few Poms asking about Heskeytime so it took a while to get there.

Did though see some bloke wearing an English flag Aussie flag and Aussie NT shirt with an English flag painted on the face. Dis graceful. Tony Abbot should see this man never sets foot in the country again

Made it to the seat just before the teams came out.

For some reason the dumb ****s at FIFA had allocated the area that would be in the hot sun all day to the active English support. Well planned that adding the heat to their liquor consumption issues. Considering 85%of the ground was in shade little excuse for this glaring oversight of stupidity.

Teams came out and England had benched Rooney and Stevie G and given the yoof a run.

Pretty poor game all up. England back 4 basically had Costa Rica covered all day and it was to be a question as to whether they could break down the 5 man Costa Rica back line.

Being that it finished 0-0 the answer is in the score.

Rooney came on with 15mins left Stevie G with 25 to go so at least got to see those 2 play in the flesh.

Matter of fact the English team were an embarrassment to their fans. Watching the Aussies when we tore in support wise our blokes lifted for the next 30-60 seconds and responded. When England ripped in in the stands the players offered no increased effort.

Considering the money interest and support for the game it is disgraceful that the clowns who don the 3 lions shirt put in such insipid efforts for their NT

With 10mins to go a ruckus started down in the England active support. Fighting broke out between them and the Brazilians and the riot police moved in.

The Brazilians had spent the second half wolf whistling and booing any English song sang. They then started singing song that basically pointed out the WC score of 5-1 in Brazil favour.

I am sure the English were also no angels but the form of the locals was actually embarrassing

At FT with the mood getting nasty made my way to the bus stop. Short wait and jumped on for the 45 min trip back to the airport.

Got back about 4:20pm and walking in spotted a bloke wearing a NZ Soccer shirt.

Asked him what he was doing here. He looked bemused so reminded him his team were not good enough to get here and they were just a back water near Australia on the planet and made the relevant jokes about sheep etc

Had a bit of a chat and the bloke informed me he was a Liverpool fan so lost points there.
He had then flown over to follow England in the world cup more points off there.

When the subject got on to the Jets there was some discussion about Heskeytime.

When the bloke told me he reckoned that Michael ****ing Bridges was a great player who we should have played more often I knew I was dealing with a halfwit

Once I managed to escape I checked in and went and waited for my 6:30pm flight going back to Curitiba direct. My airline booking home had originally been 2 leg and 1 leg was cancelled so had to rebook and got it direct at a better time for same money.

The airport was a ****ing disaster zone with pasty sunburnt chavs who had a big day on the piss sprawled everywhere.
Got on flight and got nearly an hours kip.

Landed in Curitiba at 8:30pm and jumped on the bus. Bus driver dropped me on the corner a block from my hotel. My hotel sponsors the bus run

Made it back there at 9:10pm absolutely blitzed.
Jumped on Skype and reported into HQ a bit of internet before hitting bed at 11:30pm

26-06-2014, 02:37 PM
Guess who got into Sao Paulo tonight and has tickets for the game:yay:


26-06-2014, 04:04 PM
I am guessing that these particular tour organisers were the Fanatics?

26-06-2014, 10:06 PM
Blokes looked at me like the look you would get if you dropped your pants and took a dump on the floor of Westfield Kotara in Centre Court when the kiddies were lining up to see Santa

I know this exact look.... great work Member

28-06-2014, 04:23 AM
For Militia
Proudly sponsored by Tooheys New FOR THE LOVE OF KALE

Got up Wednesday 25th June 2014 at 7:00am.

Leaving today for Sao Paulo and the tour disorganisers have told us the bus situation has been sorted and all will run smooth.

Problem I had was I needed to collect my clothes from the local laundry up the road before the 8:30am departure. Headed up and they were shut. Returned and had a shower and packed what I could bit hard to do when 90% of your clothes aren’t here.

Headed back to the laundry at 7:30am still closed

At 8am and starting to panic as everyone was ready and waiting to leave and if my clothes were not collected before they left I was looking at organising some very expensive last minute transport to Sao Paulo

So to hasten my situation I checked out and left my gear with everyone in the foyer. At 8:15 the laundry was open. Grabbed the gear raced back relieved that the possible disaster was averted

The urgency was pointless.

We never left until 9am anyway and were dropped at a muster point at a road stop 15-20km north of Curitiba.

If Sunday’s bus shenanigans were a joke then today takes the cake. We sat around changed buses loading and unloading gear 3 times.

We had the Brazilian Federal Police in attendance also who made life difficult changing plans all the time.

The whole thing stems from Brazilian bureaucracy that bus lists must be accurate when crossing state lines. The drivers get into a lot of shit if they breach this and are standing their ground. Fair enough.

Our Tour Disorganiser wishes to try and bend these rules instead of going with the flow putting the paying customer out by wasting their time day holiday etc. in some dick pulling contest with the locals.

Our inglorious tour disorganiser even spun us some line that the Police wanted us to go as there were bandits in the area. Found the story hard to swallow as there are 2 servos a couple of restaurants that make better targets than 1500 pissed off Aussie tourists who were in the mood to lay some Bruce Lee smack down on the first person who tried robbing them

Rumours circulated our tour disorganiser had paid $50k to sort the issues out he wanted his way and now the Brazilian Federal Police were making sure he got little value for his money by sticking to the local rules.

Even when we got the bus going they stopped each bus for 5mins per coach to check paperwork
Hit the road at 2:50pm

Absolute ****ing joke. I had spent 5 hours loitering at a road house watching the day go by

Still had a 6hr trip to Sao Paulo to endure.

Good news was due to the delays we would miss Sao Paulo‘s notorious peak hour traffic.

Had another stop coincidentally at a roadhouse which was well thought out to symbolise the daily dramas. I seriously have seen far too much of the inside of buses and road houses in the last few days

After a 15 min stop which turned into 30 we were on our way again
Made it into the city limits of Sao Paulo about 8pm.

Can see why the crime is bad in this town. Lighting is minimal. Considering most are tapping into the power grid for free it is surprising that the lights ain’t on for security reasons

After a couple of drop offs arrived at our hotel at 9:30pm. Best check in ever under 3 mins.
Dropped the gear off and headed out.

Rather bizarre how paranoid you are walking the streets in a new city. Was concerned some bloke was following me for around 2mins until he walked in to a building.
Found a paes shop.

I interpreted the thing as Pies. Sure as shit it was a bakery with all the standard fare except no faarken pies at all.

Would sell a kidney for a meat pie at present. Someone head down to Australia Post with a meat pie and send it over to us.
Even a week old will be fine as long as it ain’t from Darby’s

Got a baguette sandwich with Steak and salad. Once again a Subway rip off. Rather bizarre though they stuck it in a polystyrathene container and when I opened it had a side serve of stale potato chips

I take it they were out of fries and that was the substitute

Headed back to the hotel and had a few drinks at the bar before hitting the hay at midnight

28-06-2014, 09:45 AM
I am now concerned not only by Australia's drinking culture but by the lack of fibre in Australians' diets. The very concept of an AFD says it all.

I appreciate the description of breakfast each day, even though it heightens my nutritional anxiety.

29-06-2014, 10:35 AM
For Militia
Proudly sponsored by Tooheys New FOR THE LOVE OF KALE

Got up Thursday 26th June 2014 at 8:30am.

Couldn’t be ****ed with Breakfast headed out with the gear sorted about 9:15am. Plan was to take the Metro to the city have a look around and then head out to the Stadium for the Belgium Korea clash in the evening.
Got a taxi easily and then took 1 hour 45mins to drive 5km to the closest Metro Station. A drawback of our nice hotel was its distance to the Metro.
I will never complain about traffic again. I wasn’t even ****ed by breakdowns accidents etc The traffic here is 100x worse than anything in Australia. I was bemused people even own cars here. Why???
It makes no sense
Got in bought the ticket $R3 for anywhere on the system.
15mins later and I was out in the city centre of SP
Had a couple of hours walking around seeing the sights. Place is a concrete jungle with people everywhere. Cannot begin to describe how crowded it is.
Did see 2 bizarre things though
1 Some bloke walking along the footpath just pushed someone overcoming the other way for some reason. No one rushed to help as the other fella walked off
2 Was propositioned by about a dozen whores outside a church at Midday. Now I never understood what they were saying but they ain’t dressing that way and approaching you with the come here big boy lets **** look on their face if they ain’t
Rather bizarre having it occur outside a church though
Decided to jump on the metro again and head out to the stadium
Had to meet an Aussie at 3pm to on sell the extra ticket I had for the game. Whilst waiting for him I was glad he told me he would be wearing his Socceroos top
It was easy to spot in the crowd of people wearing Brazil NT tops. I decided to do the smart thing and wear the E&C which made me standout and he was able to find me.
Turns out the bloke is1 of the 8 Melburn Heart fans on the planet. Headed to the ground got in and had a good chat over some beers before the game.
Head in 30 mins before kick off and scope the ground out. Not impressed it just doesn’t look like a great ground. It looks bizarre like a 3sided ground with palm trees
For the money that has been spent it looks shut. It will be even worse when they take 20k of temporary seat out.
Speaking of the temporary seats well that is where we were so headed up there after grabbing a beer 5mins before kick off.
The food drink aspect of this ground is 100 out of 10 for efficiency.
Best I have seen by a long way.
Take up the seat 40rows back in the top tier. Must have been about 50m above the pitch and 60m behind the goal. At first it was a novelty being that high up but it wore thin quickly. Basically the only bloke you could recognise was Fellani from the bonce. Was such a disconnect from the game it was hard to follow.
Did spend a bit of time noticing how many empty seats there actually was which was bizarre cause this game was Nihon impossible to get tickets for. I had to resort to 2nd hand and even then the supply of that was slim.
What was also bizarre was how many empty seats in great spots were decommissioned for TV cameras which were halfway up the lower tiers and not built onto the stands at the back. I reckon at least 800 seats were wasted.
Being so far away it was hard to let Ben Williams know I was here. He did though endear himself to a pile of Belgians for sending off one of their players just before HT for god knows what because the Hubble telescope even with the new lenses wouldn’t have helped me.
HT we went and moved. We had spotted plenty of empty seats at a low level and decided to just help ourselves to one of them.
Only problem was every time we walked into the stand we ended up in the top level. We eventually found our way to the lower tier and were unable to access our chosen seats as it happened to be the blocked off hospitality seats.
Found some other seats and got the first 15mins in before the owner returned and we had to depart. Ended up going and watching the game from the concourse behind the goal St Korea attacked in the 2nd half. The view was 10000000 times better than our actual seats even though we had to peer over everyone’s shoulders
Belgium despite having the 10men jagged a 1-0win from a highly disappointing South Korea side
Even the Jets could have beaten a side as impotent as them
Headed back to the metro at FT and finally boarded after a long weight.

Pickpocket paradise for 20mins until the train emptied enough. Got out at the closest station and got a cab back to hotel which only took 10mins but went by fast as WLG and I were banging away on Facebook at the time.

Got back to Hotel at 8:30-9pm dumped the gear and headed out for dinner and some beer. Made it back just after midnight before hitting the hay

30-06-2014, 03:59 PM
MFKFC & I banging :oops:

01-07-2014, 07:53 AM
For Militia
Proudly sponsored by Tooheys New FOR THE LOVE OF KALE

Got up Friday 27th June 2014 at 8:30am.

Couldn’t be ****ed with Breakfast sorted the gear out and said the goodbyes to my roommate. The main tour was over and most were heading home. I was signed up for the Rd16 for another 5 days so the only problem was I had to get to Rio de Janeiro

Most had departed on the bus either overnight or first thing this morning. Not me I booked one of the plentiful flights running between SP and Rio for $50 and the thing takes under an hour. Stroke of luck with my hotel assignment being located near the airport

Check out sorted and another stroke of luck. Found another bloke going to same airport. Cab fare of R$16 split in half meant I got to the airport for the cost of a loaf of bread. Did notice the runway is raised and the planes then take of just over 8 lanes of freeway so can see why this airport has a history of being dangerous

Headed in and checked in. Got that sorted and had a good chat to a couple of Aussies on the same flight.

Got on the plane and once we got going was again blown away by the sheer size of SP. After staring out the window at it for about 15mins it disappeared. Seriously most cities are gone from view in 5 mins but not this one. It never ends

Had scored myself a window seat on purpose for this flight. I am more an aisle seat kind of guy. Find the aisle useful to stretch the legs when you want and also allows you to take a piss when you want. Being it was a lunch time flight wanted the spectacular view of Rio as we were landing at the city airport of Santos Dumont which was on the waterfront.

Needless to say it was spectacular sun shining water mountains city Amazing view. People had the cameras going despite being in the no electronic use time whilst landing. Got a couple of shots of the Maracana Christo Redentor and Sugar Loaf from the plane.

Landed collected the gear and jumped a cab R$70 to the hotel. Got ripped found out later others had paid around R$40 for a similar trip. Got to hotel and found numerous Aussies loitering in foyer. 2 reasons the only internet in hotel at all FFS and not allowed to check in. Thought here we go again. Heeded up and no such issues for me as I got my room on the 11th floor sorted.

Being such a lovely winters day in the early 30degree mark decided to head to the beach. Went down had a swim or two and admired the flesh on display. Headed back to hotel for shower and headed out for an early dinner.

Went down to a chicken shop that looked good when I was here last.
They had Rooster Parmigiana on the menu. Ordered that with the side serve of spaghetti.
When it arrived FMD it was big enough to feed 4

The Parmy was the size of a dinner plate and the spaghetti was also a full dinner plate size piled about 6 inches high

Interesting take on the Parmy as it had the tomato sauce done as a bed under the schnitty and the cheese over the top as a result the Schmitt heat continued to keep the sauce warm and didn’t evaporate/reduce.
All in all a good idea.

Parmy was good and Spaghetti was fantastic and they even gave me the biggest bowl of Parmesan to add to it. Being that the thing usually costs a bit back home I made sure to make the most of this opportunity. Ate as much as I could be for surrendering and leaving most of it there. Damage $R26

Went for an hour and a bit stroll to walk it off

Headed back to hotel where I had arranged to meet someone for a ticket swap. By 9:30pm and them still no showing got word they had been held up after traffic accident and re arranged for Sunday.

Headed to bed by 10pm despite it being Friday night and about to kick off in Rio.

Reason was tomorrow I was up early to get a plane to go watch Brazil v Chile in Belo Horizante

01-07-2014, 07:08 PM
I appreciate the description of breakfast each day, even though it heightens my nutritional anxiety.

Couldn’t be ****ed with Breakfast headed out with the gear sorted about 9:15am.

Couldn’t be ****ed with Breakfast sorted the gear out and said the goodbyes to my roommate.


01-07-2014, 11:00 PM
C'mon. He made up for it with dinner.

02-07-2014, 12:37 AM
Dear Membah,

I have had very little time for the foz for the last few months due to rl biz, but finally managed to make the time to catch up on this thread.
I've just spent the past hour reading it non-stop.

Holy shit.
Hands down greatest piece of literature ever written on the foz :grin:

Up to page 6 atm, will resume tomorrow after a solid MFKS-inspired breakfast.

02-07-2014, 12:45 PM
Look forward to the "MFKS Tour Diary' being released on Amazon.

02-07-2014, 01:05 PM
Dear Membah,

I have had very little time for the foz for the last few months due to rl biz, but finally managed to make the time to catch up on this thread.
I've just spent the past hour reading it non-stop.

Holy shit.
Hands down greatest piece of literature ever written on the foz :grin:

Up to page 6 atm, will resume tomorrow after a solid MFKS-inspired breakfast.
I hit Chile next week so may want to get those questions in you have about there so I can find out whilst there for you militia

02-07-2014, 01:24 PM
Haha, gonna hit you up on facebook.

Main question will be about whether they have the infamous bidets or not :rof: :what:

03-07-2014, 06:33 AM

Big shout out to the locals on Ipanema Beach in Rio

Huge fans of the Griffo

03-07-2014, 08:04 AM
For Militia
Proudly sponsored by Tooheys New FOR THE LOVE OF KALE

Got up Saturday 28th May 2014 at 6:00am. Absolutely chomping at the bit and excited at what the day would bring watching the locals play in a WC being cheered on by 50k of their crazy fans.

First up cold shower. This hotel I am at is crap.

Nothing works they charge a fortune and they are gonna get hammered on every internet review site I can find as soon as I find some internet as there is none here

Dressed and ready to go I head down for a cab. Cab get me to Santos Dumont for the sum of R$40 a lot cheaper than the thief charged me yesterday.

Head in check in and find out there is small delay’s due to light fog around the airport. I am barely able to see the other side of the airfield when I arrived. With a 9am flight plenty of time to get there.

8am arrived and still no activity

9am arrives and planes are able to take off

9:30am and am starting to worry.

If I ain’t on a plane by 11am I ain’t going to the game. Takes an hour flight to get there an hour to get to ground by bus.

Just having a look around the airfield notice that all the planes are departing but none are arriving. Bit of a worry that as if no planes are landing there ain’t one to sit in.

10am 11am pass as I am still in the airport getting more and more frustrated. By 11:30resigned to my fate I join them any others walking out.

The whole thing was a farce 5 plane loads of passengers bound for Belo Horizante are left stranded in Rio unable to get to the match.

What makes it even worse is it is 35C outside and just a haze in the air.

Am absolutely dumb founded as to how planes can take off but are unable to land. Add in the conditions ain’t that bad.

FFS planes can navigate in the dark at night any fly through clouds
GPS mother****ers

Absolutely disgusted at having a ticket that cost US $220 absolutely worthless I walk out the door throw a bit of paper on the ground and am then stopped by some overzealous local official

Who then hits me with a R$151fine for littering. As the bastard is writing the thing I can’t help but notice the 250k of cigarette butts on the ground. I take it that I am probably the only one to get fined. To add insult to injury
Anyway I took the ticket swore at him in Greek Croatian and Macedonian and smiled and walked back inside.

Went and sorted a refund after 60mins of queuing as there was ä long line as 3-4hours worth of flight build up were bailing paperwork was completed and I was told refund in 30-40days.

Went outside airport again and due to the upcoming Brazil game there was a shortage of buses and taxis. Add in the 5-10k of people wanting one and I could see it wasn’t my day.

Took off walking and found my way to the Metro. Got on with NFI which way I was going as the stations had names I was unfamiliar with.

Whilst travelling I could feel something on my leg I just brushed it away inadvertently like you would a fly in the face. Next thing you knew Holy muther****er.

Whatever it was had bitten and it hurt like a bitch. Look down to see some type of wasp hornet like critter. Knocked it to the ground and the last thing it felt was its head going through its arse as my Kmart specials delivered the last rites

First initial though was this could be a bit of trouble. I had no idea what the ****ing thing was and whether it was poisonous harmful deadly etc. For all I knew my first trip on the Rio metro may have been my last.
Couple of prayers to Griff and 15 mins later all was good as the pain finally subsided.

Got off when a large crowd did and was relieved to find myself back in Copacabana. From there I was able to walk back to the hotel.
Walked in to find the score at 1-1

Absolutely fuming at my day I was stopped by a bloke I knew who asked me how the day was and why wasn’t I in Belo. After filling him in he told me he had scored a free ticket to the Maracana R16 Colombia v Uruguay clash this morning.

About now the blood had reached fever pitch at his luck my misfortune and I couldn’t be ****ed watching the game.

Headed down to the beach and had a swim. Even seeing some Brazilian stunner get dumped and have her grade a 10/10tits on full display 10feet from us as her costume was ripped away done little to brighten my mood.

Staggered back from the beach in time for the penalty shootout. Brazil triumph made the whole days farce just sting that little bit more. Would have been pandemonium in the stadium yet I was stuck in Rio.

Good news is in this country beer is cheap and plentifully available and you can walk the streets doing it. So I grabbed a couple and headed for a walk .

Ended up in Leblon after trudging through Copacabana and Ipanema. Must have been about a 10-15km walk. Once in Leblon which is the dearest real estate per m2 in the Southern Hemisphere it was time to turn back. Reason being after it is a Favela

Headed back to Ipanema jumped on the Metro. Not long later and I was back in Copacabana. Found a bar and had a few drinks to try and lighten the mood.

I tried to remind myself that on days like today it could be actually be worse

I could have been born on the Central Coast

03-07-2014, 09:13 AM
That's rough luck Member...

03-07-2014, 10:21 AM
So after all it was not Member spotted in Belo last week end!

03-07-2014, 11:15 AM
So after all it was not Member spotted in Belo last week end!

he said he was drinking brazillian beer I thought

03-07-2014, 01:14 PM
Headed down to the beach and had a swim. Even seeing some Brazilian stunner get dumped and have her grade a 10/10tits on full display 10feet from us as her costume was ripped away done little to brighten my mood.

Mate, must have been a real sh!thouse day if that didn't even get you happier..
I'm hoping there were photos of this event.. :tongue:

03-07-2014, 01:31 PM
Do a favela tour member.

Get yourself some perspective.


03-07-2014, 01:36 PM
Chin up Member.
Even the Anzacs had a few tough days, but look how that all worked out.

03-07-2014, 01:40 PM
stay safe lord KFC

03-07-2014, 01:52 PM
For Militia
Proudly sponsored by Tooheys New FOR THE LOVE OF KALE

Got up Sunday 29th June2014 at 8:30am.
Decided to make the most of today and make it a good one. Headed up to the roof first up to check the wether. If it had of been like this 24hours ago I would have made the Brazil game. FFS

There was **** all clouds in the sky and from the roof I could clearly see the big man up on Corcovardo

Grabbed the gear no breakfast and got a taxi to the base of Corcovardo for R$20

Was unable to get the train up until 1:40 being it was 9:30 took the other option. Grabbed the illegal van for R$25 which takes you half way up Corcovardo.
All I will say are the roads up it a TDF training. **** are they steep.

Got half way up joined another queue after paying $R 30.

30mins later and we were loaded in another van and heading up the mountain again.
Got out at the base of Christo Redentor with the statue about 50metres up above us.

Have the choice of lift or stairs. Took the stairs as at each level were look out vantages with views all over the city. As the weather was great you could see for miles.
Got up to the famous icon of Brazil. Was rather packed up there people wise. Bizarrely many people were lying flat on the ground taking photos with the camera pointing up at Christo.

Couldn’t understand why. With digital cameras phones etc you can just hold the thing about your knees point up and take the shot. If you didn’t like it on review delete and try again.

Why the need to lay on the ground was beyond me.

Of course there were a thousand dumb ****s who had photos taken with the arms outstretched just like the statue.

What was bizarre was that there were 2 blokes hanging onto his left arm. Apparently an ongoing job of maintenance to make sure the big fella is here to stay for many years to come.

Up there you can see all the great sights of Rio Copacabana Beach The Lagoon Sugar Loaf Mountain and also Maracana.

After spending an hour up there made my way back down. In a stroke of fortune I was fast tracked onto a bus ahead of the queue by just wandering along and when no one was watching just merged into the queue at the front.

Got dropped off back down the mountain. Wanted to go for a walk along the lagoon which has access to the ocean at Ipanema Beach through a small Channel. The thing is quite large. Somehow the directions from the guide got muddled and I walked off and after an hour of walking was unable to find it. Where I was I had no ****ing idea.

Tried getting a taxi and the cabbie refused to take me to Copacabana despite being empty. Bizarre as he is guaranteed a fare quickly in that area after dropping me off. Ended up jumping another cab and worked out why the first had refused. Only cost R$9 to get back to Copacabana. Somehow I had actually nearly walked back to the hotel just had NFI where I was

At the hotel as it was 35C yeah it’s the middle of winter over here
!! Grabbed the swimmers and headed down the beach.

As the fan fest is located on the beach you can keep track of the game which was on. Holland somehow got the better of the Mexicans whilst I was watching it neck deep in the Atlantic Ocean

Headed back to hotel after a couple of hours at the beach. Had shower and changed. At 4pm I was meeting someone for a ticket swap. Showed up at 4:20pm and deal was done.

Traded a spare M55 Argentina v Switzerland in Sao Paulo I had for a M60 Brasilia QF which will be the winner of M55 v the winner of USA Belgium. This will be the last game of the WC for me and fingers Crossed would be Messi v Hazard and co.

Deal done decided to make move for the Fan Fest. Got down there just before kick-off for the Greece V Costa Rica clash. Costs nothing to get in. Food and drink at reasonable prices sit on the sand with 20-30k and watch the game.

Found a spot near the fence and settled in to literally watch the WC on the sands of the Copacabana. Had a cracking view. By turning the head one way I could see the screen.

Turning it the other direction up on the hill I could see Christo. As the game wore on Jesus glowed. The locals have lights on him so at night he actually glows. Looks awesome.

Apparently the night before he was glowing yellow and green not his customary white.

Crowd were right behind the Costa Ricans. If that **** Ben Williams hadn’t of sent the Costa Rican off they win by 2-3 in normal time. Ended up going to penalties and everyone left happy when the Greeks went home

After the game the area was packed and having an early start tomorrow couldn’t be ****ed waiting for a meal so grabbed some McDonalds
Tastes almost the same.

In bed by 10am as I am up at 4:30 tomorrow to go to Brasilia for the France v Nigeria clash

03-07-2014, 01:54 PM
Do a favela tour member.

Get yourself some perspective.

page 5 of this thread :sup:10th of June

03-07-2014, 02:02 PM
For Militia
Proudly sponsored by Tooheys New FOR THE LOVE OF KALE

Got up Monday 30th June 2014 at 4:30am. Up early as I am off to Brasilia for the France v Nigeria clash. One of the easiest tickets to get I found

First up cold shower. Why the **** is there no hot water after dark here???

Dressed and ready to go I head down for a cab. Cab get me to Santos Dumont for the sum of R$40

Head in check in and by 7am in plane strapped in ready to go. Settled into the 2hour flight by going to sleep dreaming of the fantastic TITS of the bird sitting next to us. When they are 95% out I can’t help but stare.

90 mins of shut eye sure made the flight go by quick. By the time I awoke the screen had 23 mins to arrival.

Touch down in Brasilia and can see the capital got the money for airport a Reno for the WC. Probably helps that the politicians go there.

Brasilia is much like Canberra. Besides being where the government is both are planned architected cities in the middle of butt **** nowhere.

Brasilia on one hand has taken it to pedantic anal measures. With even sectors for hotels all being in the same few blocks. Council meetings for DA’s must be a blast in this neck of the woods.

Coming out the airport I see the Coke reps in the baggage claim offering free samples. My eyes lit up not for the free coke but the 2 slutty dressed girls offering free Budweiser.

Even if it is shit free beer is still free ****ing beer.

Grabbed a couple of samples for the road headed outside making sure not to drop any litter. Grabbed the shuttle bus into the stadium for $R8

Got out about 3km from the ground when you could see it in the distance. The place is ****ing bizarre. So planned so organised yet still a ****ing hole in the middle of nowhere.

They have a pile of monuments buildings all on this main avenue which is about 150m wide and runs for a few kms. The place is filled with this rich red soil everywhere. Tufts off grass struggle to grow through it as it don’t look fertile.

The place looks like Martian planet with monuments to Martian gods everywhere from a science fiction film.

Went for a stroll trying to take it in.

Got to the ground about 1.5 hours before kick-off. It is a bizarre place also with these thin column piers in the hundreds holding the roof up. Inside though is spectacular although a little steep.

Finally got a seat on the side the TV cameras are on about 18 yards out from the end France attacked in the first half.

Must say I was impressed with that little midget Frenchman in the No 8 as well as Pogba who is gonna be an awesome star in 3-4 years as he learns his craft

The Nigerians and the other Africans shit me to tears they try playing some Euro style football which they think works. Well it don’t. The Nigerians refused to get blokes forward in attack and were finally punished for their safety first shit with 2 late French goals adding respectability to the scoreboard

I thought the French looked a lot better as soon as Deschamps hooked that useless hack Giroux and put Benzema in his rightful spot leading the attack.

Headed out after the game and made my way back to the Bus Station. Got the local bus back to the airport for **** all.

Checked in and went for a feed. Airport is fantastic food wise. Large variety and a lot of it cooked fresh. Got a plate of Spaghetti Marinara for R$16.The chef even cooked the thing up in front of us. Was fantastic.

Headed through scanners and who’s going through in front of us none other than Portsmouth WBA Inter and Ajax legend Nwanko Kanu.
Ohh and the bloke also played for Arsenal when they won trophies

Was delayed leaving for 45 mins **** knows why as we were strapped in just not going anywhere which was compounded by 50 French wankers for want of a suitable term serenading the entire plane. **** I hope Germany towel them up at the Maracana like the 1940s were back in vogue

About 100km from Rio we got hammered by some pretty severe turbulence. Haven’t ever d any that bad in all my flights ever.

When we got to Rio we had an hour tour of Rio by night as we circled the airport. What made the whole thing even worse was the pilot forgot English and only conversed announcements in Portuguese. So I had **** all idea what was going on.

Finally the decision was made to not land at Santos Dumont as it was closed. Rain Fog Haze they shut that joint for any reason softly.

Ended up landing at the International Airport which added an extra 20 mins and $R40 to the taxi trip.

Finally made it back to hotel at 11:30pm 2.5 hours later than I should have. Sorted the gear as tomorrow I was again off early bound for Sao Paulo for the Swiss v Argies match before hitting bed by midnight

03-07-2014, 09:03 PM
Hate the pricks.......764 :whistling:

05-07-2014, 09:07 AM
page 5 of this thread :sup:10th of June

Sweet. That's the tour done.
Now for their second bit of my post.

07-07-2014, 07:25 AM
[For Militia
Proudly sponsored by Tooheys New FOR THE LOVE OF KALE

Got up Tuesday 1st July 2014 at 5:20am.

Up early as I am off to Sao Paulo for the Argentina v Switzerland clash had packed the gear last night so after shower I was in a taxi and on my way. Had a 9am flight to Sao Paulo from the airport I had lost my tablet case in and some money a few weeks ago.

Once the taxi arrived at the airport I checked in and then went to the lost and found. No luck.

Oh well on the bright side I get to see Lionel Messi play in the WC today so little to be downhearted about

Plane was a little late with take-off and we landed about 10:30am. Went and tried checking in for my return flight but was unable to for some reason.
Wanted to do it now as with the game finishing approx. 3pm /3:40pm the 6pm flight was cutting it fine with Sao Paulo traffic and the carnage getting out and away from the ground

Queued for the bus to the stadium. By 11am we were on our way. Took to 12pm to actually get to the ground. With the security checkpoints barricades etc. making kick off was cutting it close. Go out and hurried where I could the last 400metres are up a hill and I charged up it like the Energizer Bunny. Got in went to the toilet and grabbed a drink.

Made my seat 15 mins before kick-off. What a ****ing seat to.

Behind the goal 2 rows back on the 6 yard line. Best seat I got at the WC. I knew it was alright before I came from the stadium guides you could see the bay location. I got even luckier as my seat was as close to the goal rather than the corner flag as possible.

Teams came out and the atmosphere was insane.

Argies everywhere Few Swiss but Brazilians everywhere giving it to the Argies. Scuffles everywhere. Argies singing. Brazilian’s booing trying to drown it out. Brazilians singing five time champion Diego’s a homero (homosexual)etc.

Were singing one song that confused the **** out of me to start with. Argie had narrowly put out for a corner as opposed to own goal. Brazilians started chanting what I thought was suicide, suicide suicide. This chant was regular through the game and I kept thinking it was suicide. Sooner or later it dawned on me they don’t speak English and were actually chanting for the Swiss. It was actually Suica the Brazilian pronunciation of Swiss

The pair of them having singing contests trying to outdo one another. Hate to actually see how the non segregation would work at a WC if they got to play one another and one was sending the other home

Thought the Swiss were valiant in defeat. Lacked quality up front but the Swiss coach’s tactics to quell Di Maria Higuain Lavezzi Messi etc worked a treat. They weren’t far away from pulling it off when they coughed it up on half way Messi burst forward and could have shot but sucked the defence in before laying it off to Di Maria.
Where I was you could see it was actually in even before it beat the keeper.

The angle was such that it was coming right at us and the keeper was not gonna save it.
The place went off the Argies going nuts more so in relief they weren’t facing the lottery of spot kicks.

One last twist in the tale as the Swiss hit the post from a header and then it ricocheted back into the path of the Swiss player and ricocheted off him again agonisingly wide of the post.

Was quite impressed with Di Maria the later the game got his desperation level increased and made the extra efforts to win it for his team. Didn’t think he had the ticker for it.

Messi on the other hand was anonymous a lot as the game hung in the balance. Didn’t think he led by example enough
Anyway fulltime sounded and I was out of there like a scalded cat.

Was actually running where I could and got back to the bus station 3:40pm in record time. Was on it quickly and back at the airport by 4:30pm. Bit of insanity getting to and from the ground today.

Checked in and flight came and went and was back in Rio before you knew it.

Jumped a taxi back to Copacabana and got ripped off blind. R$125 for the fare. Bloke spoke English and was a bit of character to put it bluntly so I was chatting away and jumped in an never noticed the metre wasn’t put on.

By the time we got to hotel he pulls out the list of set prices and you know you have been had an the character aspect is all part of the scam. As the taxi’s here lock you in your basically at the whim of the driver to open the door. Paid the bill lesson learned.

Threw gear in hotel. Headed out to find an ATM. 4 rejections before success. Visa accepted everywhere my arse.

Filled the wallet up with Reals and headed out to a restaurant. Went into a joint where it was price per kilo. IE you fill our plate up with whatever and put it on a set of scales it is weighed and that is then factored into the restaurants per kilo set price.

Done that and as I was sitting down to eat realised they had a Churriasco aspect and I had just filled a plate full of shit I would struggle to eat from the buffet.
Walked home and hit the hay at 11pm absolutely ****ed after 2 big days

07-07-2014, 07:30 AM
For Militia
Proudly sponsored by Tooheys New FOR THE LOVE OF KALE

Got up Wednesday 2nd July 2014 at 8:30am.

After two huge days and no football on have the day to explore Rio. Only two problems I have to urgently get some laundry done and I also have to change hotels.

Good news on that front is I am back off the tour and on my own again. Copious amounts of porn on the Wifi and also the ability to drop my pants and inspect any pimples on my arse as I see fit.

Sorted the gear out. Separated the laundry and went searching for a Laundromat. There are heaps about you walk past them all day yet when you need one you walk for miles to find one. Add in when I did find one when I did ask about pick up she pulled the calendar out and pointed to one weeks time.

Not that good when I will be in Santiago Chile at the time.

Found another one who told me it would be ready by 3pm today. Glad at such efficient service but would have preferred picking it up the next day. The 3pm pick up did sort of cause an issue with picking up luggage changing hotels taxi etc. Just one more drama
R $52 for eight days of washing, can’t complain at the price

Headed back to hotel to check out. They charged me for 1days internet useage in the room despite it being that poor I couldn’t update a FB status and I gave up and went downstairs

Left the gear there and jumped the Metro 3 stops to the end of the line to Ipanema. Had been in the area after dark but not during daylight. Strolled the main street two blocks from the beach till I came to the end of Ipanema where it becomes Leblon.

At this point detoured inland a few blocks and walked around the Lagoa for a bit. It is a giant lake with an inlet from the ocean. From the waterfront the view is spectacular you can see Christo up on the hill.

After a bit came to the Flamengo Fc complex. Ironically it ain’t in Flamengo itself. Bit like how Waratah Golf Club is in Argenton. Wandered into the shop BR$230 for a replica shirt I will pass.

Headed into Leblon. Nothing special. Nice neighbourhood but not sure why the real estate is so deer. Might be because there is little shops and no riff raff about and a latte latte type crowd.

Wandered down to the beach and started to head back to Ipanema. On the way stopped at one of the many kiosks on the waterfront. Here I got a coconut drink. Literally a straw shoved into the coconut. Bizarre watching people walking along with these coconuts everywhere.
Also sat down for a platter of BBQ fried prawns and looked out over the beach.

Chicks with their butt cheeks hanging out, blokes playing football or footvolley skin everywhere.
Afterlunch continued the stroll and found a shop on the beach called Barraco do Joel. Obviously my work spreading the word on the Griffo is having the desired effect when the locals are embracing the Griff

At the end of Ipanema they had some rocks on the end of the beach. Not like the type Asian fisherman die at regularly but a raised rocky crop well away from the water and with trails and what not. Headed up and checked it out.

Place was loaded with cactus everywhere. Like an idiot thought I would test the cactus out to see how sharp it was. It worked even drew blood from the finger.

Coming back managed to pick up a beanie Angry Birds style for my nephew from a bloke selling them on the beach front. What was bizarre is why you would be selling beanies on a beach in the middle of winter when 95% of days in Rio are 30C+

Not really a location on the planet where you need winter gear

Grabbed the metro back got the laundry grabbed the gear and jumped a taxi to my new hotel. Was moving to the Centro business district. Reason being is hotel was $200Aud a night and not the $400Aud a night those in Copacabana were going for.

Only a 5-10 min walk to Metro to get back to Copacabana region. Area around the hotel fine during day time after dark whilst the office workers are there departing for home it is fine though very dangerous once the office workers go home.

Place at night is full of homeless vagrants riff raff and people from Woy Woy etc

After checking in to hotel checking WiFi works headed straight back to Copacabana.

Went to a Churriasco for dinner. Was bizarre hammering through cut after cut of meat and realising I was still hungry but was absolutely sick of the taste of meat. At this stage it was a relief to hit the salad bar.

Leaving there got ripped by them. Charged me for a fruit cocktail I never had. Started arguing the point and the No Ingles ploy came into effect.
Paid the bill of $R9 extra $4.50Aud.

**** all really but the principle is the people here at times are trying to rip you off. For what is a highly Catholic country some need to re read a passage in their book called the 10 Commandments.

Despite the food being good I won’t be back.

Dumb ****s just cost themselves a paying customer tomorrow night for their greed.

Headed down to Copacabana Beach and found a little bar. Had a few beers watching the chaos unfold down there before heading back to the hotel and tucking into bed about 1am

07-07-2014, 07:35 AM
For Militia
Proudly sponsored by Tooheys New FOR THE LOVE OF KALE

Got up Thursday 3rd July 2014 at 8:00am.
Headed down grabbed breakfast muesli fruit salad and more fruit. Back upstairs for shower and hit the road. First up on a mission.

Going to see the one thing in Rio I hadn’t yet. Maracana.

Grabbed the metro which takes you straight there.
Got out and walked around the thing. Despite the WC security measures in place still able to get some good shots of the exterior of the joint.

After this jumped back on metro for Copacabana. Spend a few hours browsing the shops for gifts. At present I am limited to one suitcase of 23kg up until leaving Brazil next week and then after that 2 suitcases of 23kg. My plan is to buy a suitcase when I get to Sao Paulo and then buy souvenirs in SP Buenos Aires Santiago where I can fill the thing.

At present I am stuck looking for items Brazil specific items I can buy later or small light things not taking up much space.
Managed to pick up a Neymar no 10 Brazil shirt for my 22 month old nephew who loves kicking the ball about.

Picked up a sarong for my mother

Picked up a couple of t shirts for myself but what was the bargain was picking up a pair of genuine Adidas shorts in blue with the red trim still with the tags on them for $R20 from a street stall.

At that price they either fell off the back of the truck or old mate had shoplifted them that morning. No way in the world are they that price.

Speaking of crime not certain exactly what had transpired but a large crowd had gathered outside a pharmacy.

All of a sudden the cops arrived sirens blazing.

Couple mins later some bloke comes out in cuffs led by the cops and is thrown in the back of the divvy van to cheers and taunts from the crowd. **** knows what he done though

After completing the shopping by purchasing a towel for $R9 and headed down the beach. Cheaper buying one and leaving it on the beach than renting one. Being that it was 35C spent the arvo down their sipping on caprinihias on the beach and taking dips in the ocean.

By 5pm as the sting went from the day headed to Botafoga to get the metro to the hotel. Reason for this is it was 6 of 1 half a dozen of the other I needed a piss and knew where the toilet could be found.

Only problem was I had no idea where the Metro was so I spent 40mins walking some dinghy streets with NFI until I found it.
Jumped on board and headed back to hotel making it back by 6:30pm

Got in to WiFi zone at hotel to find I has pile of are you alright messages. Turns out a bridge overpass had collapsed in Belo Horizante and the parents were panicking cause they had misread the itinerary as I go tomorrow.

Called in on Skype and sorted that out.

Headed down to the hotel restaurant for dinner. Ordered the Filet Mignon and ****ed my order up. Got the faroda not the feijoda I was after.

Instead of black beans like I thought I was ordering I got a plate of bread crumb like seasoning for rice. As the stuff is as dry as **** and I had no rice was hard to find uses for it.

My fault no one else

After dinner repacked my luggage and had a big find
For some reason I had hidden US$200 in my poncho cover. **** knows why.

It was assumed lost when I left my tablet cover in Rio airport so now I had only lost the tablet cover about $60Aud about $60Aud of Uruguayan and Argy money.
Gonna get a shit load of Argy money in Florida St with that in a few days time

After this logged on and looked into resolving my littering fine situation. Turns out I am up for $R157 and I have to pay it at the bank.

Only problem is you need a print out of the full document found online. Not much good for a tourist with a tablet or phone but no ****ing printer.

What compounded the ****ing thing is it came in some obscure file format and was unable to be saved by my limited PC skills and equipment. Right click would be really handy on a tablet

After sending it through to my hotel who were unable to print the file format and much ****ing around on my part trying to get it as a PDF with no success ended up calling the brother in law in Australia who I emailed it to he looked into it found a solution and emailed it back.
From here I was able to email it to the hotel who printed it off.

3 hours wasted. Rather ridiculous a government organisation who targets tourists and not locals has ä website that is in Portuguese only won’t translate and is running some ****ed up file format and code no **** on the planet uses.

Basically encourages you to not pay the thing. If you don’t pay it and get out of the country what’s the worse they can do. Refuse another visa entry if you wish to come back??

Anyway I will head to the bank and have a go at paying it. If it don’t work they will only stop me from leaving the country for so long before they deport me anyway

After enough aggravation and ****ing around hit the hay at 1:30am

07-07-2014, 10:23 AM
Going back to Argentina in a couple of days

Any of you lot want some Argentina flags to fap off over Flores???

08-07-2014, 01:42 PM
For Militia
Proudly sponsored by Tooheys New FOR THE LOVE OF KALE

Got up Friday 4th July 2014 at 8:30am. Showered and heeded down for breakfast. Plate of muesli and yoghurt watermelon and these bread balls the size of a golf ball with various flavoured custard fillings. Probably in the top 5 things I have ever eaten

Could have sat there all day eating the things but made my way back upstairs grabbed the luggage and checked out. Gear stored at the hotel as later tonight I was departing Rio most likely for the final time.

After all the shit last night sorting my fine out the ****ing banks are closed for a public holiday so I can’t pay the fine anyway.

Basically it is getting frustrating that I won’t pay it and if I make it out of the country without sorting it I just never come back.

Head off to the Maracana for the France v Germany QF. Arrive at 10:30am well early for a 1pm ko
Wanted to spend the day there walking around for an hour taking it all in. Turns out that pool I wanted a swim in is a no goer SD. The place is part of the lockdown zone and about 20blokes with automatic rifles are waiting there.

Being that it was 35C took some block out. Security confiscated it. FMD. No liquids also includes items that prevent the occurrence of sun cancer apparently.

Mind you I wasn’t complaining the most. The pricks were confiscating cigarette lighters. What was even funnier was that FIFA have a designated smoking area outside the ground inside the perimeter yet only those who smuggled lighters in were smoking.

Was rather humorous watching one bloke light a cigarette and that one light lit another hundred others.
Pregame gave my Aussie flag to one of the locals I chatted to for 15 mins and a few other things I had brought to give away to others. Basically clogging up my luggage I didn’t need and the people receiving them were stoked getting a gift

Headed in and knew I didn’t have the greatest view before I arrived. Was up high behind the corner flag down the end France attacked in the first half.

Was actually 2rows from the back and had scored an aisle seat so was forever up for other people to get drinks toilet etc all game and this was compounded by others walking down the staircase blocking the view.

Was surprised the ground wasn’t higher up. For an 80k ground I reckon up the back of the Joel Griffiths stand at Newsy is higher up.

That being said being an oval shape meant the view although fine at our end we were almost 200m from the goal Germany scored in.

As for the game thought France were better and a little unlucky to go home. Germany scrambled well and denied France countless times just as it looked like the Frogs were about to cut them apart.

Anyway eat a dick Frogs. No one likes you

Wasn’t that impressed by the German crowd expected a bit more from them.

Once again the Brazillians gave it to the German about being 5x champs etc. People here are great and hospitable but when it comes to football they just lose class by carrying on like a 12year old Man Utd fan

Anyway cracking day and great to visit a cathedral of world football.

Leaving the ground was fun. Sardines on the walkway as the police stopped the crowd to prevent overcrowding at the Metro station. Then sardines on the Metro.

Got off and walked around Centro getting lost somehow with no people about it was easy to get side tracked. Did see some interesting places though before finding my way back to the hotel just before kick off for the Brazil game.

Being the hotel wasn’t set up for viewing the game grabbed the luggage and headed to airport which was a 600m walk.
Missed the first 5 mins but was able to watch it with 1000 other people. HT came and went and checked in for my 9:30pm flight.

Mainly to fill the break in the game and get rid of the luggage. When I did so was told if I wanted could leave in 30 mins and not 3.5 hours time.

Jumped at the chance and was strapped into a plane within 10 mins. Struck it lucky and even had 3 seats to myself. After a 45 min flight where the captain kept us updated on the Brazil Colombia match every 5 mins we landed in Belo Horizante and grabbed an airport bus $R21 to the city which is 40km away.

Fortunately no overpasses collapsed into town.

Being it was pushing 9pm and had NFI where I was let alone where the hotel was pulled out the phone and found out the hotel was 550m away. Set off on foot.

Belo Horizante is a rather hilly place luckily for me it was down what can be said as close to a vertical inclined street you will ever see. Holding the suitcase was fun as gravity kicked in. Thank **** I won’t walk up it. I will get a taxi to the top if need be

Found the hotel and checked in. Only staying in Belo as I got a hotel for $50Aud a night for 2nights and is about 1/8 the prices in Rio. Even plane fares included it is still a way better deal.

Headed down the local shops an got Subway. BMT. Mostly the same as home but had something like rocket and the sauces were different. Got the BMT with a parmesan sauce.

Ordering the thing though took 15 mins due to the amount of questions asked in making a sub and my level of Portuguese. Got there I the end. Headed back to hotel and hit the hay at 11:30pm

08-07-2014, 01:46 PM
For Militia
Proudly sponsored by Tooheys New FOR THE LOVE OF KALE

Got up Saturday 5th July 2014 at 5:40am. Showered grabbed the gear and headed out the door.
Today would be my 12th and final game of the World Cup. Had a 9:00am flight out of Belo for Brasilia for the Argentina v Belgium clash.

Got the taxi out the front of hotel and was on my way R$120 to airport. Can’t complain as it is easy a 30-40km trip.
Strapped in and we were on our way. An hour later we were landing in Brasilia.

Got off to the most glorious site in the world. The Budweiser Girls were in town so that means FREE BEER
Grabbed a couple to start the day.

Headed outside **** Me. Arriving the same time for the France Nigeria match Monday and todays match what a contrast. Easy to pick up a taxi or bus Monday. Not today. People everywhere.

After sussing the bus and taxi situation out went the taxi option

Spent my time in the queue talking to a Belgian bloke who had his kids running around trying to hock a spare ticket. He had a ticket on half way 5rows back.

Had paid $US800 for 4 of the things but his wife couldn’t get to Brazil. Being that it is illegal to sell over cost price $US330in Brazil that is why he had the kids running around.

Turns out he actually got the tickets off an online site like EBay. The name on the ticket matches the name of a FIFA official who got them for free and has then hocked them for profit

Cabbie for some reason was hell bent on dropping me as close as he could despite the traffic. Eventually got him to stop. $R50 damage

Made the trek of about 2km to the ground walked in and reunited myself with my dear friend Beer. Had a chat to a couple of Belgium and some Poms before taking my seat.

As for the game cracking goal by Higuain with the first time volley on the turn to win it. Belgium had the better of the game Argies defended grimly. Belgium just didn’t have the class players to break the Argies down.

Atmosphere was fantastic once again numerous scuffles involving the Aries and Brazilians.
It really is bizarre. Small pocket of fans for Belgium. Pile of foreigners with no affiliation either way. 30k of Argies **** knows how they got so many tickets and 20k of Brazilians.

Usually a football game has 2sides to cheer for but for every big name team Brazillians believe can win the Copa Mundial there are 3sides being cheered for.

It is actually rather embarrassing the way the locals carry on. The hospitality and warmth they display is first class. As soon as they get to a football game they lose the plot.

Knowing full well they were buying tickets to a game involving teams other than Brazil sure turn up cheer the team you want to win but the day is for the fans of the competing nations not about them

Be the equivalent of 5k of Jets fans turning up to Gypos V Smurfs game and singing about Griffo and Jets all day. Wrong place wrong time and lame

Anyway full time came and went. About 500m from the ground there are some markets had a browse but didn’t buy.
Had some good stuff but timber which would only be confiscated upon arrival in Australia. Already have one timber product I am planning on getting through hidden in the luggage.

Being that for some reason I had booked a flight at 10pm and it was 3:30pm decided to go check out some of the Martian monuments. Went for a 5km stroll past a heap of them before turning around and arriving back at the bus station.

For some reason the buses had disappeared and private illegal taxis were bowling up. Gave it a miss as didn’t feel comfortable safe etc

Headed up to the shopping centre and grabbed a taxi. On the way to the rank met an Argy bloke who wanted to split a fare. He negotiated a fixed price of R$40 so R$20each

At this point noticed the lack of Portuguese Spanish has probably cost me a bit with the inability to negotiate.

Had a good chat in Broken Spanish Broken English Broken Portuguese with him to the airport.

At the airport I gave him my tour jumper

Wasn’t the worse jumper quality but as the tour group had made the jumper in a colour that represents the Gypos and it didn’t have enough Australia about it and it had far too much about the tour group with their name all over the place it wasn’t setting foot in Newsy

No luck getting an earlier flight tonight. Settled into watch the Dutch V Costa Rica game got the lasr 20mins plus extra time and pens.

One of the things with the WC you go to a game in the flesh you miss other games on TV and throw in travel plus there is so much to see and do gee do you miss some football.

Anyway Dutch triumph is good for Aussie football as it reinforces that the Dutch way we are going down can work for us in time

Was regretting giving the jumper away as the temp had dropped.

After the game headed into the terminal and had another serve of the Spaghetti Marinara I had the other day here.

Finally the call came to board. Must say Brasilia is a fantastic city at night by air. Due to the structured symmetry about it the lights look amazing.

Settled in and had a 45min nap only to be disturbed by the bloke sitting next to me waking me up to tell me we had landed and to get up.

Staggered out grabbed the bus into town and made it back to the hotel by 1am

08-07-2014, 11:39 PM
geez. im getting confused with all these airports and restaurants.

Seems you're doing a stack of walking as well, are you beefing up or turning into a stick figure?

08-07-2014, 11:43 PM
grabbed breakfast muesli fruit salad and more fruit

heeded down for breakfast. Plate of muesli and yoghurt watermelon and these bread balls the size of a golf ball with various flavoured custard fillings. Probably in the top 5 things I have ever eaten


09-07-2014, 06:23 AM
geez. im getting confused with all these airports and restaurants.

Seems you're doing a stack of walking as well, are you beefing up or turning into a stick figure?

Not making much difference.

Food is fantastic here. I am trying to make the effort to do a fair bit of walking. Getting a bus or metro are fine if you have some distance to do but getting out on foot lts you see many things you miss.

09-07-2014, 06:26 AM
The food situation in Brazil is gonna see a nation of norm's as the economy grows and more and more move into the middle class.

Am now back in Argentina and it is glaring how hard it is now to find junk food. It is here but takes a bit of tracking down. In Brazil it was hard to find somewhere without it

09-07-2014, 06:42 PM
brazil is shitfight, lucky you're out

11-07-2014, 10:21 AM
For Militia
Proudly sponsored by Tooheys New FOR THE LOVE OF KALE

Got up Sunday 6th July 2014 at 7:40am. Showered and headed down for breakfast
Breakfast was a farce basically paid $R22 for cereal and toast. What a con.

Headed back upstairs grabbed the gear and checked out. Grabbed ä taxi and 45mins later and $R135 out of the wallet and I was at Belo Horizante airport again bound for Sao Paulo.

I originally had planned to leave Brazil yesterday but a change of heart to see the M60 QF in Brasilia made me stay a bit longer. The only flexibility with my flight booking without getting creamed fiscally was to push my flight out of Brazil back 2 days.

Problem was I had to spend a night in Sao Paulo to fill in time. Worse still it was a Sunday. Sunday’s in Brazil are like the rare public holidays in Australia where nothing is open. Hard to find shit open to keep occupied

Was able to get a Novotel Hotel for $Aud 95 for the night so couldn’t complain too much on that front

No sleep today on the plane as I developed some kind of coughing fit. Think I am getting the flu again.

Land in Sao Paulo and wait about 30mins for luggage??? WTF Were they doing???

Finally get the gear and book a taxi $R 118.Initially thought I was getting ripped but could see why it was a long way to the hotel.

Check in and head up to the room. Nice place. Hotel does its business from business stays in Sao Paulo but weekends are dead so have dirt cheap rates below the normal

Decide to go for a walk to Avenue Paulista the nominal main drag of a town with 30 million inhabitants.

On the way not much open but stumbled past what I would suggest was a brothel on the way.

Spotted some bird on a balcony who was definitely topless before she ducked down with her head at the waist height of a bloke who also had no clothes on. Maybe she was tying his shoelaces?? Bit bizarre that it was done on the balcony 3 floors up and not in the room.

Another thing to note was how many homeless were about.

I shit you not on at least 7 occasions I had to change course to avoid tripping over someone sleeping in the street on the footpath in the middle of the arvo. Now you see the homeless in Australia but not to the extent as to here in South America.

After 40mins of trekking made it to the Avenue Paulista.

Here there were a lot of arts crafts and various odd bod stalls everywhere.

Did have the pleasure of watching a Brazillian Elvis perform. Bloke was singing one of Elvis hits poorly and then proceeded to jump on a bus stopped at lights and serenaded the bus. Bloke was not talented but left him a pile of shrapnel and some notes as he was putting on a performance anyway

After walking the avenue for an hour or two and seeing enough hippie Rastafarian wannabe dole bludger to fill Nyngan a thousand times over (seriously the dreadlocked bums were everywhere with their beads twisted wire and what other useless shit they were trying to hock) plus it getting on nightfall with my worsening cold made my way back to the hotel

Decided to go to the hotel restaurant and when I arrived it appeared it didn’t open for nearly an hour decided to make other plans.

Headed back up the road and checked a few places out. First dozen were well over priced. Now I ain’t tight but paying $R 80 for lasagne or spaghetti bolognaise is over the top.

For that price the plate better be wedged between the pussy lips of some stunner.

Ended up at a Churriasco.

Wandered in and the bird was dribbling on in Portuguese to me about the place. Nearly every word was going straight over my head. Ended up having to get a translator for me. Found a customer who spoke Ingles for me.

This lady then tried explaining the intricacies of the churriasco in that meat would be bought around and I could help myself to the salad bar.

I explained I had been to a churriasco before and the only reason I had the odd look on my face was because I was waiting to be shown to my table which the waitress had failed to do and that was the only reason we were having issues

Sat down and plowed in. Tonight they were bringing out chunks of roast meat you would only buy that big if you had to feed 50 people. Had more than enough meat before hitting the salad bar once done damage R$28

Headed back to hotel for some porn and internet research time. Turned out could have got the bus from the airport to about 600m from my hotel for R$32. Ahh well

Repacked the bags as tomorrow I was leaving Brazil and needed to hide the timber products from customs
Headed to bed at 11:30pm

11-07-2014, 09:30 PM
I disapprove of your non-compliance with border laws. I hope the next diary entry reveals a change of heart.

ToddG NBUnited
11-07-2014, 09:36 PM
May you forever be added per 2/3 cups of couscous to 2.5 cups of water!

12-07-2014, 08:21 AM
I disapprove of your non-compliance with border laws. I hope the next diary entry reveals a change of heart.

The timber products are items to use at football matches to disturb the ambience.

Not rare pieces of protected timber to sit on a night stand.

It will be worth the effort to get them home.

12-07-2014, 12:42 PM
For Militia
Proudly sponsored by Tooheys New FOR THE LOVE OF KALE

Got up Monday 7th July 2014 at 7:40am. Showered and heeded down for breakfast
Breakfast was pretty average for a reputable organisation

Headed back upstairs grabbed the gear and checked out leaving the gear to collect later. Set off on foot and located the bus location for later today.

Continued on foot for a few hours with NFI where I was. Just kept ducking in and out of shops. Highlight of the day though was hitting the hardware district of Sao Paulo. No Bunnings here. Just a street about 1km long with every shop selling drills.
Seen enough drills to last a lifetime.

Did also duck into a flea market arcade where for at least 10mins I was trapped inside. The place was a maze of tightly squeezed together stalls all more or less selling similar shit and all manned by Asians. I kept walking around trying to find the exit and had NFI until I got lucky and seen daylight

Eventually stumbled onto a Banco do Brazil. Went in spent 45mins queuing before being served and paid my fine. Least be able to get back to Brazil one day.

Kept walking in the general direction I thought my hotel was in. Sao Paulo is a crazy place and 500m down the road you could get lost. Eventually spotted what I though was my hotel from the window shutters. Only problem was how to get to it. 30 mins of hiking and I was right.

Being it was about midday decided not to head too far as I needed to head to the airport soon. Headed down to one of the cambios and traded $BR235 for a $US100 which would come in handy in Argentina

Strolled around the shops near the hotel before heading in and grabbing my gear at 1:30pm and making the trek of 600 metres to the airport bus stop. Paid $BR 32 for the trip and waited about 15mins for the bus

Grabbed the bus at 2pm to the airport. Going a bit early for a 6:30pm flight but Sao Paulo’s traffic is notorious so better to be there early than late. Ended up getting there just after 3pm.

Just my luck got off at Terminal 1 and had to walk to Terminal 3 at the other end. After nearly a kilometre hiking through the airport I found my airline Turkish Airlines at the furthest counter away imaginable.

Had picked Turkish Air as they fly Turkey to Buenos Aires with a stopover in Sao Paulo. The leg from SP to BsAs was actually priced 50% lower than any other airline. Checked in and got rid of the gear.

Headed down and went to Carls Junior home of the slut burger. Anyone not familiar with this place they get highly attractive women dressed sluttily and basically bordering on porn to advertise their greasy fatty hamburgers.

Hey what can I say the marketing had worked on me. Grabbed a burger wasn’t bad at all.

Made my way in got stamped out of Brazil and tried to rid myself of my remaining Brazilian Real at the Cambio. When the bloke offered me a rate of $BR3:$US1 I told him to get stuffed and I would take it home with me. Thief

Finally boarded the plane and what can I say about the décor. Sky blue filth. Not even a true sky blue but that blue with a tinge of green. Plane looked like your grandma had decorated it fifty years ago

Kicked back and started to watch Anchorman 2.Well I did until the bloke in front reclined and the screen moved into a position that no matter what angle I tilted it to or adjusted my seat to I couldn’t see the picture clearly. Gave up in frustration and turned the MP3 on.

3hours later and we were touching down in Buenos Aires. Walking through the terminal to customs etc the first thing I noticed was even inside how ****ing cold it was. After two weeks in t shirt and shorts those days were over. What was even worse is I was still in t shirt and shorts with my jumper in my suitcase waiting to come out on the carousel.

Not thinking clearly I dawdle through the terminal and was one of the last of about 5 arriving plane loads to make it to the queue for entry visa processing. What made the process slower was the dopey Argentinians who held up the queue I was in cause they never read the sign properly that the queue was for foreigners

For some reason they wanted a fingerprint scan. Considering it wasn’t required the first two times I had entered Argentina by ferry and taxi a little inconsistent.

Got through grabbed the luggage and put a jumper on. Went to the taxi counter to find out a price as I needed some local currency. Bird said I could pay in Brazilian Real so coughed up some of the excess cash I had left over and headed to the taxi rank.

Bloke there stood in the doorway of the taxi with his hand out wanting money. Told him his tip was to be good to his mother. Parasite wanted cash to point me to the next cab in the queue FFS

Jumped in and soon realised I had left my Adidas cap on the plane.30 min ride and in was back in the Buenos Aires CBD at my hotel at 11pm.

Was the same one I stayed at last time I was in town. Only got 1double bed in the room this time.

With no cash in my wallet and the cambio not open on Florida St to the next morning and not wanting to get ripped at the ATM with the official exchange rate I viewed the contents of the mini bar and took note. Then headed to the corner store and checked what matched.

Went back to hotel and hammered away on the food and drinks I could replace the next morning at quarter the price and no one would be none the wiser.

Hit the hay just after 00:30am

12-07-2014, 12:45 PM
Would like to point out timber products were successfully smuggled into Argentina

12-07-2014, 03:19 PM
I feel we need a civic parade when you get back to the hunter.

12-07-2014, 03:56 PM
It will be worth the effort to get them home.



12-07-2014, 06:22 PM
I feel we need a civic parade when you get back to the hunter.

Settle for a drink and catch up on stories?

13-07-2014, 10:35 AM
For Militia
Proudly sponsored by Tooheys New FOR THE LOVE OF KALE

Got up Tuesday 8th July 2014 at 7:40am. Showered and grabbed the gear and headed out. Wandered down to Florida St and exchanged some money $AR11.5:$US1

Headed to the corner store grabbed the items consumed from the mini bar and returned to hotel to restock before hitting the streets.

First up wanted to check out a plaza I had seen last time here but hadn’t actually visited. That done was stopped on the way by a bloke who wanted to talk to me. Bloke spoke excellent Ingles so had a good 15min chat until I found out he was hitting me up for money.

Walked off and heeded down to avenue 9th July the number uno street in Buenos Aires.

This avenue goes for kilometres and is about 100metres wide with about 4 roads through it. It also has the National Monument the Obelisk and a pile of advertising lights ala Piccadilly Circus. Done a bit more strolling this type down near the water front area.

That done onto some shopping. Picked up a Brazuca for the nephew, picked up a Boca Juniors t shirt and a shirt to commemorate the greatest footballer who ever lived bar Griffo.

Yep got a shirt with Diego Armando Maradona emblazoned all over it.

Went searching for a suitcase but not able to find one for under $50AUD ended up buying a large duffle bag for $AR1900 about $16AUD

Searched high and wide for something for my mother but so far am clueless on what to buy. It is either complete junk or items she has to pick herself.

As for the general shopping in Buenos Aires the amount of copy right infringement blows away any Asian flea market you will ever see. The Argentine National team shirt was done by Adidas LeCoqSportif Nike Puma Topper etc

All in various levels of shoddy quality and priced well below the price a genuine Argentina shirt from Adidas retails for

Feeling a bit beat up and hungry called into a restaurant for some steak. Absolutely fantastic.
Continued the shopping picking up a few more bits and pieces.

Ended up breaking into a coughing fit that made me contemplate suicide.

The temperature was freezing well not quite but so much of Buenos Aires doesn’t see daylight for long due to the high rises keeping the streets in the shade for 90% of the day. Due to the flu and it getting on towards 4pm decided to call it a day and head back to the hotel to watch the Alemania v Brazil semi-final.

Had planned to go to an open air screening of it but when you are sick it is cold you can’t be arsed either those plans fall apart easy

Well what a game. At one stage there I thought there was a type on the screen with the score. There wasn’t Deutschland were scoring that often I had missed one of the goals as they were just constantly showing replays of goals being scored an actual goal was scored and I just passed it off as another replay.

The streets in Argentina erupted with a glee and the sounds of vuvuzela’s foghorn etc resonated through the city every time Brazil was humiliated.

In one regard I was glad this happened to Brazil. The people for the most part were fantastic warm and hospitable. At the football though they were as arrogant as a 12year old Man u fan telling you why they are the greatest side ever

The 7-1 score line was a degree of karma for the arrogance they had

Anyway spent the night in the hotel room on the internet and watching the Simpsons in Española as the cold weather and the flu was really wearing me down. Ordered Room Service and got a great feed of steak and pasta.

Hit the hay just after 11:30pm

13-07-2014, 12:20 PM
For Militia
Proudly sponsored by Tooheys New FOR THE LOVE OF KALE

Got up Wednesday 9th July 2014 at 6:40am. Showered and grabbed the gear and checked out
Grabbed a taxi and was heading to the airport. Was easy to grab a taxi as today was a public holiday in Argentina for their national day like Australia day so there was little happening.

Shame I had organised my travel to leave today well before the draw came out cause it would have been awesome to party with the Argentinians on their national day as they played for a spot in the WC final

Anyway checked in for my flight to Santiago Chile where I will be staying for a week before heading home

Had a hard time at the airport duty free trying to rid myself of my remaining Argentinian pesos. The things are worthless outside of Argentina
There is also only so much liquor you can buy which I did

Wandered back and forth trying to find something. Most of the stuff was overpriced or I had no need for. Ended up cleaning out most of the money buying some Winnie the Pooh plush toys for my 6 month old nephew

Paying for it was fun as the bloke in front bought nearly the entire store.

Left just enough money to get a drink of a bottle of water and a sandwich. Exactly what the met was I am not sure but it was not like anything I have seen before and I will be relieved if I never eat anything like it again.

Settled in on the flight with some tunes only to find the MP3 failed after 2songs as I hadn’t charged it. Sitting there bored I had a hard time staying awake.

Thanks to WLG recommendation I had got a window seat and up above the clouds the sun was shining I was rugged up it was warm and it was hard to stay awake with how exhausted I was

Succeeded by reminding myself of what the purpose was to stay awake and that was to admire the Andes Mountains as we approached Santiago.
Eventually remembered I had music on the phone so slipped it on.

After about an hour and a half of flying the mountains could be spotted in the distance. WLG was dead set right absolutely majestic with the snow glaciers lakes rises and falls 15mins of viewing we got and absolutely splendid.

After the mountains you are basically in Santiago so it was less than 10mins before we were on the ground.

Was ****ing delighted to see the pilot park the plane in the middle of the air field and not at the gate so we had to get a bus to the terminal. Can someone explain why billions are spent on airports yet people still have to disembark out in the airfield when you have the walkways to the plane door???

Headed in and had a pile of paperwork to fill in to enter Chile. After completing the paperwork had to go pay the Reciprocity Fee of $US117 as the Chileans impose this on Aussies as the Australian government fleeces Chilean’s this amount when they visit Australia

That paid through customs to get passport stamped. Luggage collected with a few moments of panic.

As I was one of the last off the plane and had the paperwork to do and was probably the only one on the plane to have to pay the Reciprocity fee I was one of the last to collect luggage.

There were a few suitcases off the conveyor belt. Went searching and found the suitcase. My bag with souvenirs was no where to be seen. Eventually located it after a few minutes of panic on a different conveyor belt.

Through customs timber smuggled into Chile now.��

Headed out grabbed some money and got a taxi. 20 min drive and was at my accommodation. Got quite lucky as I had to pay for my accommodation and the taxi fare came to the exact surplus amount of Chilean Pesos I had

Anyway was renting an apartment for a week for CLP$210000 about $Aud400

Had to wait about 10mins for the owner to turn up and meet me. Went in checked the place out and agreed to go ahead with the deal. Have a lounge room bedroom kitchen and small bathroom so no bidet

Best part is it is close to the metro and shops are within 200metres

Dropped the gear and headed out looking for a bank to top up my empty wallet. Took 3 banks with one even closing the door on me as I tried to enter?? WTF

Wallet full of cash grabbed some drinks and headed back to the apartment for some Johnny and to watch the Argentina V Holland game.

As for the game two afraid sides who neither wanted to win. Unfortunately one had to and the Argies triumphed on penalties.

Spent the night in hammering through the Johnny except to duck down stairs and grab some sushi from the shop under my apartment
Hit bed about 10pm

13-07-2014, 12:22 PM
For Militia
Proudly sponsored by Tooheys New FOR THE LOVE OF KALE

Got up Thursday 10th July 2014 at 9:40am. ****ing slept in

**** it. Needed it big time

Coughed my hole up this cold is ****ing killing me. Showered and packed some gear and headed out to see a bit of Santiago

No map no ideas just headed out. Got to the street I got to yesterday and decided to head left

300m later and I came to some big fancy building. Pile of Chilean flags on it and looked important. No idea what it was but found out later it is Constitution Plaza.

Kept walking and ended up in a shopping precinct. Went into a few sporting goods stores. Full of shoes and **** all clothing.

Ended up in a shop and bought some balloons for my nephews. Being they ate 4-2-6months hours of fun with these things and even better they had cartoon characters on them

Now this is just an example of how ****ed up customer service is in South America. My purchase came to CLP$135 just over $2Aud
They had 3customer reps serving and the first 2 directed me away to a 3rd

This one wrote out a receipt and took the goods off me and gave me the receipt. I was then directed to one of the other stuff who hook the receipt off me and took my money and gave me change before giving the receipt back. I then had to front the 3rd tiff member who placed my item in plastic bag.

The whole process took 3-4minutes when 1 could accomplish it in 20seconds.FMD

After this stumbled on the office for the local tourist bus. Went in and spoke to the bloke in there. Bought the tourist bus ticket or CLP$20000 about $35Aud

Whilst there I also booked a day trip to a seaside town called Valparaiso and Vilna Del Mar. Monday at 8am I will be picked up from my apartment and taken to these places about an hour’s drive west on the Pacific Ocean coast.

Have heard good things about Valparaiso from people so if it is any good may even head back again
Headed to the bus stop and jumped on. Being first on got the pick of the seats and took the one up top at the front where the windscreen offers protection from the cold.

Must say the hour and a half circuit was an eye opener. My impression of Santiago from what I have read and seen so far were blown away. The further East we travelled into the Providencia and El Golf regions blew me away. Far more modern and stylish then I expected.

Drove past a golf course and realised I still hadn’t had a game over here yet. This course may well be given a miss as the fairways were a straw yellow colour most likely from the frost cold etc

All the while driving you got the occasional glimpse of the snow-capped Andes mountain range looming east of the city. Quite a spectacular back drop.

Ended up at the last stop and got out and checked out the museum of art. 600CLP entry so just over a dollar to look at some artwork

Being that it was now getting on 4pm decided to have a late lunch early dinner I made my way down to the Central Markets. Old school building of Chilean cuisine.

First thing that hits you as you walk in is the smell. It deadest smells like some birds twat. Correction some birds twat that has had 4pilchards up it for the last month.

The odour of fish was in the air big time.

Wandered in and found a restaurant. Place was full of them so was a matter of picking one and the first waiter who spoke to me in Ingles got my business

Sat down and ordered some Garlic Shrimp with some salsa accompaniment. Thing came out in one of those sizzling bowls you get from an Asian restaurant immersed in some fluid. Was fantastic

Next up for the main got the salmon which came in a white seafood sauce with shrimp mussels crib nest etc. lettered through it. Alright but had better Salmon dishes

Damage for food and drinks came to CLP $16000 about $30Aud

Might not seem like much but you would pay twice that back home for what I had.

After this as it was getting cold and about to get dark decided to make my way back to my apartment. It was 3C at 5pm and for someone with a bad cold not a good place to be out in.

On the way back stopped and picked up 4pairs of socks at a market stall for CLP$2000 about$3Aud which was handy as I am running low on them. Plus it is easier than washing them!!!!

Spent the night in watching a bit of TV internet Skyped home to HQ before tucking in at midnight

13-07-2014, 12:27 PM
For Militia
Proudly sponsored by Tooheys New FOR THE LOVE OF KALE

Got up Friday 11th July 2014 at 9:40am. ****ing slept in
**** it. Needed it big time still need more though

Coughed my hole up this cold is still ****ing killing me.

Today it is foggy and overcast. That means it is ****ing freezing cold. Temperature will not reach double figures today which will mean it is going to be a cold night.

Headed down to the Metro which is less than 2 hundred metres from my apartment. Cost 690CLP a little over $1.30Aud to travel anywhere on the network. Good news with heading into the Metro is the temperature rose about 5C just going in.

Got the train 3stops and changed onto another line. Another 4stops later and I was out in suburbia. Well not luxurious suburbia but working class struggle class suburbia.

Despite the surroundings not being the best little fear as the people are lovely and it is a pretty safe place.

Set of on my mission to see the home ground for the Chilean NT and also the venue of the 1962 World Cup Final Estadio National.

Found out I had actually walked the wrong way and what should have been a 10 min walk turned into 25 as I took the scenic route.

Eventually came to be able to see the ground. Thing was fenced off about 80metres from the stadium. Found an open gate and was pulled up straight away. Through some broken Spanish and some broken Ingles was able to negotiate entry into the external perimeter but I wasn’t allowed into the actual ground. Anyway set off on a walk around the thing.

Absolute shit tip from the outside. The façade was kept as a modernisation project in recent years was done on the inside. The ground actually was used for prisoner interrogation detention execution etc during the coup d’état of Augusto Pinochet in 1973 so has a sordid history.

Wandered round but was unable to find an unlocked gate as I did at the Centenario in Montevideo. Took some photos and wandered off. Least I can say I have seen all the grounds the World Cup Finals have been played at in South America

Wandered off busting for a piss. One of the big problems over here is toilets are hard to find and not readily available. Not certain but I think I actually broke into the private quarters of the staff at a servo I came across. There was a sign up in Spanish about toilets and I just charged in an took a pass anyway

Headed back to the train station and jumped on bound for the eastern end of Providencia. Got off and walked across the over road footbridge to a shopping centre.

Next door to the shopping centre is Gran Torre Santiago the tallest building in South America. Wanted to go and see if they had n observation deck. They might one day. The exterior has been built but the interior s still a construction zone. Any way it still look impressive anyway.

Wandered into the shopping centre. Thing is 5 stories high. What is also bizarre is the escalators travel up into space. There is nothing stopping you after the handrail plummeting to your death

Going up from the 4th to the 5th floor the hand rail about waist height is the only thing stopping you plummeting about 80 metres to the first floor.
Wandered into a shop where you could buy just about anything.

Fridges TVs Computers Toilet Paper Beer delicatessen. This place had it all. Picked up a ball for my nephew for about $2Aud and a few other supplies.

Wandered back to my apartment. 1hour later and still not there and freezing my nuts off in the 3C temps got on the metro and saved another 2 hours of walking.
Got back dumped the gear and headed out to the Italian restaurant nearby for some pasta.

Headed back to the apartment for a quiet night in with my bottle of Johnny

13-07-2014, 10:42 PM
what grade of jonny is it?

14-07-2014, 12:59 AM
Is a "Johnny" some kind of Argentinian anti-inflammatory syrup? That's what you take when you have a horrid cough, right?

14-07-2014, 11:16 AM
what grade of jonny is it?

14-07-2014, 11:18 AM
Yes it is not an anti inflammatory.

Too much of this stuff and you lose co ordination

Does **** all for the cold also

14-07-2014, 05:06 PM
Is a "Johnny" some kind of Argentinian anti-inflammatory syrup? That's what you take when you have a horrid cough, right?

JW Black Label - world's finest medicine....

15-07-2014, 03:36 PM
if someone could translate the member's diary entries into english for me that would be greatly appreciated.

15-07-2014, 09:51 PM
Ingles parksey, Ingles.

17-07-2014, 06:39 AM
For Militia
Proudly sponsored by Tooheys New FOR THE LOVE OF KALE

Got up Saturday 12th July 2014 at 9:40am. ****ing slept in
Loving these sleep ins
Good news today was the sun had made a comeback and the weather wasn’t cold and miserable.

Anyway after the general business was taken care of heeded out searching for a mythical entity called a Café con Piernas.

Had been informed an out these establishments but didn’t quite believe the story. Basically they are coffee shops that you go to ogle women that come in your 3 categories and are a Chilean specialty.

First one is pretty easy to find. They have open glass windows and can be seen from the footpath. In these the staff wear basically short skirts and tight clothing. Nothing to get worked up about as they ain’t showing much

Second one and third one are findable but you have to search a bit more. They are not exactly in the public eye and are hidden in galleries. When you walk into these the women are dressed in lingerie swim wear etc basically as minimal fabric as possible only covering the minimal amount of person.

There is a slight difference between the second and the third one but it isn’t easily discernible. One you can go in stare at the chicks all you like have a chat drink your coffee and walk out the door. The other one though the chicks will molest you or allow you to molest them.
Anyway headed straight past the first types anytime I spotted one.

Found one of the other ones and wandered in. Ordered an Express for CLP$2000 under $4Aud. Downed my drink whilst staring at some great tits and arse. As none of them spoke Ingles any chance of small talk was out.

Wandered out and headed to another. Walked in ordered a cappuccino and was soon harassed by a bird. Had a great rack on her and this time we had a bit of dialogue with the translate app on the phone. After a bit headed out.

Wandered into another galleria that this time had 3 of the things in close proximity. Figured this would be a great place. Wandered in and knew I had struck pay dirt.

The women were walking around in slutty lingerie that barely covered anything. Some bloke was getting a lap dance in the corner a bird was burying some blokes face into her tits and another bird had an outfit on that was covering everything bar her tits.

Not long after I was approached and greeted by one of the girls. First up she walked up to me smiled and placed her hand on my chest before running her hand downwards and rubbing my crotch. FMD

Bit of small talk in some broken Ingles and some broken espanyol and she asked me something. I thought she asked me if I wanted a drink so I grabbed the wallet and pulled out a CLP$10000 (Approx$18Aud) note which was the smallest I had.

Turns out it was probably not drinks she offered. Next thing you know she has dragged me to the corner and is rubbing me up burying her tits in my face and giving me a lapdance.

Before too long she was unzipping my jeans and freeing it. She then proceeded tugging us off right there whilst dirty dancing to the music.
Anyway when that was done she gave me a kiss and I walked out the door. Never even ordered a drink

What a way to start the day.

Café Con Piernas need to definitely find their way to Australia

After this decided to head up to the El Golf area the rich end of town. Not the best idea as not much happening here on the week end. Wandered down to Providencia and done a bit of shopping.

Stopped in for lunch at Taco Bell for a burrito and taco. What though was good is they threw in some items that were like a prawn chip you get from the Chinese takeaway in consistency but were smaller and about the size of a finger and doused in cinnamon.

Continued with the shopping and window browsing as I made the long trek back to the apartment.

Got back in time for the Brazil V Holland game for the best of the losers trophy. Great to see Brazil end up with nothing.

Joga Bonito my arse.

Ref though was a disgrace though. How Tiago Silva wasn’t given a red in the second minute is baffling.

After the game headed out for a feed and grabbed a steak at a nearby restaurant. Not as good as in Argentina but still fantastic.

Headed back to the apartment to keep my friend Johnny company. Made it to bed about midnight

17-07-2014, 06:42 AM
For Militia
Proudly sponsored by Tooheys New FOR THE LOVE OF KALE

Got up Sunday 13th July 2014 at 9:40am. ****ing slept in
Loving these sleep in

Got up and felt the urge to go Have a coffee. Unfortunately the Café Con Piernas were shut which was a ****ing tragedy as I was busy tomorrow.

Matter of fact nearly everything was shut. Basically Sundays in South America are dead. Locals must go to church or something. Did contemplate going to church but seeing as I hadn’t set foot in one for 20years figured no that will continue

Anyway decided to go somewhere I knew would be open to kill time before kick off to the World Cup Final which was on at 3pm local time.

Headed to Santiago Zoo. Thing is located on a hill and besides being dirt cheap like CLP $300pesos to enter should offer some good views of the city.

Got the metro train to the closest stop and then walked up to the zoo which was about 500metres away.

Getting to the entry to the zoo was fun. A good 500metre walk all uphill tested the legs lungs heart and everything out. Just outside the entry there was a great little view of the nearby snow capped Andes Mountains.

Took a few photos whilst coughing my hole up. That could also be down to the overwhelming odour of animal shut

Headed in once again the pathways headed up hill. Good news was that there were various animals to stop and look at on the way so you barely walked 30-40m before pausing. The elephants looked like they had Aids. Seriously they looked terrible.

Got to see a pile of weird and wonderful critters many I was familiar with others that I had never seen before.
The reptiles were a little lacking in quantity though the boa constrictor and python were interesting. The crocodile display was out of action unfortunately as the area was being renovated.

The lions and tigers were a bit of a disaster as the things being nocturnal were asleep as was the bear. Did get to see 2 aussie icons the emu and 3 hoppers. Surprisingly the hoppers were a popular thing with the locals.

Bizarre really. I hate the pricks of things and the only time I like them is when I have a rifle pointed at their heads or seeing them as roadkill on the side of roads.

After about 2 hours headed out and went to check out the local neighbourhood called Bella Vista.
On the way out there was a bloke hocking these whistle things. Picked up a few. As they are timber will have to be smuggled home.

Bella Vista is a bit of a grungey neighbourhood full of bars and restaurants. Äs it was getting on 1:30 and could feel the need for a dump headed back to the apartment.

Was gonna sit in and watch the game but as the TV was now on the blink headed back to Bella Vista. For some reason the apartment complex has got workmen in on WC final day to do some work on CCTV system and they have ****ed the antenna connections into the place.

Well done

Grabbed a table at an Italian restaurant 10 mins before kick off and watched the game. Ordered a BBQ pollo pizza and it arrived about 10 mins into the game. **** me the thing was rectangular and about 70cm x 30cm Ponied up and had the thing knocked off by half time.

Stayed for the rest of the match and had the misfortune to knock off a pile of the local beer called Cristal. This would have to be one of the worst brews on the planet. The thing is worse than blue tongue. It barely has a taste and is memorable for being plain. Good news is they were cheap at CLP$1000 each just under $2Aud

As for the match thought it was once again another poor world cup final. The last good one I seen was in 86. They are usually tepid affairs as both sides are more interested in not losing than winning. Anyway was relieved it didn’t go to penalties so I could stop drinking the Cristal.

Thank you Gotze

Am glad the Germans won. The way they have approached the game in the last 10years and the money they have poured into yoof development finally got them the reward they deserve. The way the Argies approached this tournament by parking the bus and scrapping all game and neglecting to utilise the talents they had up front properly got what it deserve

After the game headed back to the apartment. TV still ****ed so hit the internet for the round up of the game before hitting bed at 11:40pm. Would have been in bed earlier but was on facey with WLG asking me the hard questions for about an hour

17-07-2014, 06:49 AM
For Militia
Proudly sponsored by Tooheys New FOR THE LOVE OF KALE

Got up Monday 13th July 2014 at 7:00am. No sleep in today

Shower and downstairs to wait for the tour bus pick up.
On a day trip to Valparaiso and Vina del Mar

Bus rep arrived for pick up at 8:20am 20 mins late. Then had to walk three hundred metres to meet the actual bus. Travelled across Santiago to the far side of town where we got out and had to get on another bus.

Basically all the different tours the company were running were leaving from this car park. Jumped on board for the trip which would take approx. 2 hours to Vilna Del Mar as we now had to drive all the way across Santiago again in peak hour traffic.

South American deficiency at its finest again. The punters on the trip could have been asked to congregate at various locations as the bus headed through Santiago and saved a shit load of time.

Settled back well didn’t really settle back as the bus was full and the seat I had chosen was broken. Well it had a fault. Basically it ever so slightly eased into the recline position. You would be sitting upright then in a couple of minutes you would be laying down.

Had a pile of Brazilians on the trip and only 2other English speakers. Both American. One of them I wanted to strangle as every time he spoke to me he used the word mate in some type of sarcastic stereotype.

Was really enjoying the Chilean countryside was quite inspiring and a little unique. After an hour we stopped at a shop for a rest stop. Obviously a good kick back for the bus company

Not long after it started to rain. I hadn’t actually seen rain for about a month. Last time I seen rain was in Rio at the start of June. The World Cup had come and gone and the closest I got to rain was rain causing issues for my plane to land but by the time we hit the ground it had stopped

Bit of an irritation as the rain brings fogging to the windows of the bus so the next hour was hard to see much out the window.

Made it into Vina del Mar as the rain was ongoing it made the next hour fun not.

As it barely rains in Chile the place gets less than 250mm a year the tour guys had very little idea what to do. The place we were going to was closed due to the rain so we had a bit of an ad hoc tour

Ended up going and seeing a monument from Easter Island. There are only 3 on the planet that have been moved from Easter Island which is a part of Chile about 5 hours plane ride away in the Pacific Ocean. This is the only one actually in Chile.

As it was raining it was a case of duck out get some photos get back on the bus and get going again.

Next up we stopped at the Ocean. Going for a swim here was out of the question. The surf was huge and dangerous plus due to Arctic Currents is on 12-13C
Not much good in summer either as those currents persist year round

Next up we stopped at some clock made out of flowers. The thing was fantastically done with flowers arranged in certain ways in different colours about the size of a centre circle on a football pitch. Better yet it had poles that moved and you could actually tell the time from it.

After this headed off for lunch at a seaside seafood restaurant.

Waited an hour for the meal and had the bizarre situation where the min came out minus the side of potatoes and the side of rice. Sat there looking confused for 3minutes before digging in. The fish was gone and then out came the potatoes and rice. Food was good anyway even if the restaurant struggled with their service and organisation.

After this went and had a walk by the waterfront. Got saturated but didn’t care. Had a raised vantage point so headed up and had a look out.
Finally headed back to the bus at 2:30 which became 2:50 by the time the stragglers arrived.

Ridiculous to have a 2 hour lunch break and even more ridiculous that people were late. I was at a table where we were the last to be fed so have NFI what everyone else was doing when I wasted 30mins by the water and still made it back on time

Anyway bus heeded off to Valparaiso and a short 15mins we were there. The rain had cleared and we got out for a walk. The town is very hilly. Some of the streets are near on 40degree inline. What’s worse is they go for 500m or 1.5km up hill.

Our bus took us up the top and we walked downhill thank Griff.

Lots of wonderful street art and we once again had some shoddy paving. As we were walked we were followed by dogs with two of them at one stage fighting for about 2mins

Ended up down the bottom with a splendid view over the town.

From here we took a cable car ride down the bottom. These things were about 1000 years old an operated on a pulley winch system and this is how the locals got around the place

After this jumped back on the bus and headed back to Santiago. Got back at 6pm and were stuck in traffic for 45 mins before we made it back to the shopping centre car park.

Here I made a huge mistake by taking up the offer to be dropped at my apartment. Should have got out and taken the metro which would have only taken 15-20mins tops. It took 20mins to drive out of the car park and turn the bus around I the traffic and pass the shopping centre.

After this we visited nearly every back street in Santiago.

Finally got dropped off but across the main drag 300metres from my apartment.

As it was raining then had to negotiate Santiago’s rain issues.

Basically water just pools here. Puddles are everywhere. As they got so little rain it is almost like storm water runoff wasn’t part of the town planning.

As a result you almost have to wade through the place in some parts to get home. Got in absolutely saturated.

Now the rain wasn’t that bad. It was at a level that would see NBN games called off though 4days before the match leaving everyone to ask why.

As for the tour the rain made a mess of the day but bit of a joke really.
1hour wasted at the start of the day getting picked up and going to the rendezvous point.

Two hours travel there.

1.5hours in Vina del Mar.
2hr 20mins on lunch 1hour in Valparaiso and then another 2hour trip home to Santiago.
Bit of a farce really.

Very little time spent actually seeing Valparaiso or Vilna del Mar which I thought was the reason we actually went

Headed out and grabbed some dinner. Went to KFC as I just couldn’t be ****ed having a sit down meal. Rather bizarrely my burger had avocado on it.
Took it back to the apartment and ate there before hitting the hay at 11:30pm

17-07-2014, 08:42 AM
Café with legs :cool:

17-07-2014, 09:19 AM
Café with legs :cool:

And more by the sounds of it!

17-07-2014, 01:36 PM
The elephants looked like they had Aids. Seriously they looked terrible.

did you photo this cause i never thought I would ever hear this

you home yet?

17-07-2014, 02:00 PM
As we were walked we were followed by dogs with two of them at one stage fighting for about 2mins

Membership issues?

17-07-2014, 09:09 PM
Why do I get the sense that I just read a sanitised account of the Café Con Piernas?

18-07-2014, 05:18 AM
It wasn't sanitised at all

Am in New Zealand at present about to board to Sydney

Be back in God's country soon enough

18-07-2014, 08:00 AM
Safe last leg MFKS - welcome back

18-07-2014, 04:25 PM
For Militia
Proudly sponsored by Tooheys New FOR THE LOVE OF KALE

Got up Tuesday 14th July 2014 at 9:00am. No visit straight to the Café Con Piernas today as I have other stuff to deal with first.

First up today was a visit to the suburb of San Diego about 3-4km away from my apartment. Being it was a bit out of the way from the metro I headed off on foot.

Found my way to the shop I wanted to go to. The place was a Chilean Gaucho (Cowboy) shop. My father had seen a show on Chile and had taped it for me.
In the show the Chilean gauchos were wearing these hats. Basically the things are like an Akubra but have a massive brim on them. My old man was pretty impressed with them and had asked me to pick him one up.

I thought they would be pretty common but they weren’t easy to find. Had been looking everywhere but had seen none for sale. I basically had to go to a special store to get the things after searching the net for where to go.

Anyway headed in to the Santiago equivalent of Airds except it isn’t a big white building or in the middle of butt **** nowhere. Picked one of the things up for CLP $30000

Headed back to the apartment to get rid of the thing as it was quite big and bulky. Basically the box it came in was just wide enough to squeeze into the suitcase.

Once that was done headed off to the barber. Got the ears lowered. Hadn’t had a haircut since being here and though I had better take advantage of the cheapness whilst here. CLP $3000 just over $5Aud for the job done.

After this headed off for a coffee. Visited the Café Con Piernas for a half drunk expresso before departing. We will leave it at that

After this went and visited an art gallery for an hour then headed to the Central Mercado again for some late lunch/ early dinner. The food was that good had to go back again

Got the garlic calamari as an entrée. The plate was full 5 inches high. I had eaten plenty and still had my main to arrive of Chilean Sea Bass with side serve of fries and rice. I didn’t even get close to finishing it. Bill came in at CLP$16500

Headed back to the apartment to get the washing done. Had that much clothes to wash I barely had anything clean to wear. Add in that I would rather not spend a day washing when I get home nor do I want a pile of souvenirs soiled with the odour of dirty clothes jammed against them in the suitcase for the trip home.

Wasn’t able to wash earlier as I had NFI where the things were. As the apartment was private complex none of the locals spoke Ingles and I had to contact the bloke I rented the apartment off to find out where they were when my search of the complex had failed.

The machines used CLP$100and CLP $500 coins only and I had a hard time rustling up enough of them for the CLP$1200 to operate the machine. Needed to do 2 lots of washing and 2sessions in the dryer so needed CLP$4800 in shrapnel.

Had to go down to reception and harass passers-by for their change. Ended up getting enough shrapnel organised eventually.

Washing done pre packed the suitcase

Spent the night in watching the idiot box and on the internet. Finally the TV antenna issues had been resolved and the antenna issue had been resolved. Ended up hitting the hay about midnight.

Found it a bit hard to get to sleep as someone else in the apartment was having a loud late night and **** did that noise travel

18-07-2014, 04:31 PM
For Militia
Proudly sponsored by Tooheys New FOR THE LOVE OF KALE

Got up Wednesday 16th July 2014 at 08:00am. Being that tonight I was flying home got up and straightened a few things up. Done the dishes swept the floor and just tidied up any mess I had made to the apartment.

Had the luggage neatly lined up ready to go and had a change of clothes laid out with the toiletry bag.

The bloke who had rented me the place had agreed to let us stay until 8pm for nothing so the plan was to head out to 6:30pm and wear myself out before coming back to have a shower before the arduous trip home.

Well after straightening things up headed out just after 9am into an overcast Chilean day to see a huge spanner thrown in my plans. Basically Santiago was a ghost town. Bit confused as to what was going on and thought maybe they have a half day Wednesday or something.

No Coffee today either. Trust me I checked

Went for a stroll for a couple of hours down to El Golf. Turns out it was actually an obscure public holiday for religious reasons. Basically **** all opened.

Ended up at a shopping centre and strolled around it for a couple of hours. Santiago I must say offers pretty good value for clothes. Could have bought heaps at pretty low prices but picked up 2 jumpers for CLP$10000 for the pair when in Australia you would most likely pay $50-$100each.

Then headed down to Hard Rock Café Santiago for lunch. Ordered hamburger. Had to send it back. The thing was a little rare on the inside to say the least. I don’t mind steak a little pink but hamburger patties are another matter.

Ended up jumping the train back to apartment and headed off in the direction I hadn’t been before. Still little open but did have a good look see.

Ended back near the apartment about 4pm and went for a stroll through the Centro shopping area. Few stores open and a lot of impromptu street stalls about. Wandered around for a bit before heading back to apartment at 6pm.

Jumped in shower and through the idiot box on and caught the backend of a Peruvian League fixture live.

Standard was iffy to say the least the blokes have skill and touch but there is no midfield defensive pressure at all. Basically one team coughs it up around the penalty box and the other team waltzes through the middle over half way to 30yards out without anyone trying to make a tackler anything.

Anyway the time came to get going so grabbed the gear left the apartment keys on the table with a gift of a bottle of scotch for the free day’s accommodation as it saved me a few issues and headed out to the main street to hail a taxi.

Now was fortunate to find a few empty and waiting. The unfortunate thing was the bloke driving it.

Barely understood a word I said and for a fair portion of the trip wasn’t certain he was even taking me to the airport.

Did notice on the way though I had actually been staying 2blocks from a strip club which I had failed to notice and also the number of Café Con Piernas increased the further away from Centro you got.

Anyway onto the cabbie. Bloke insisted on talking in Spanish and asking me questions. Why I have NFI but you think he would have got the hint on the 4-5 occasions I answered and obviously had NFI.

Add in the bloke must have been 70years old. His driving technique was a disgrace. Foot on accelerator then foot on brake repeat adnauseum.

Then had the audacity to honk the bus in front for going too slow despite their being 3 other available lanes to overtake it.

To top matters off I nearly never made it to the airport.
The cabbie after driving at 60km in a 120km freeway zone showed signs he was unsure where he was going or had eyesight issues.

The sign to take the exit for the airport had been pretty regularly sign posted for a few kilometres now.

When it got time to take it the cabbie decided to take it really late in that we were nearly past it before he decided to take it.

Being we were only doing 60km wasn’t that dangerous to take it so late except for the cabbie then having a spell of indecisiveness and coming to a complete stop half way the freeway and half way on the off ramp.

Basically I just closed my eyes and hoped for the best. A few cars magically avoided the stationary taxi in a 120km zone.
**** me.

Gave the bloke CLP$20000 and even told the old bloke to retire and get his eyes tested and called him a stupid old fart. He had NFI what I had said and grinned and thanked me for the tip.

Headed in and was approached by the airline to fly tomorrow. Offer was a night in first class accommodation and US$700 in cash. Tempted but have to go to work Monday and getting home Friday is cutting it fine with the time zone changes as it is.

Why didn’t I get an offer like this on one of the other umpteen flights I had that would have been easy to take up?

Checked in and headed into rid myself of the remaining Chilean Pesos. Bought a couple of t shirts a jumper for my mother.

Had just a little left. Wandered round but was unable to go to Subway or a restaurant as I was a few hundred pesos short of their cheapest items. Ended up buying ä couple of chocolate bars and some water.

On the way to the plane we were stopped by Chilean Customs doing bag searches. The bastards were confiscating peoples drinks that were bought beyond security and binning them. Why **** knows but the security at airports across the globe is a ****ing joke with no uniform consistency and double standards everywhere.
As I had the 1 litre bottle of water decided to put it in my pocket. Got through. So **** them dumb ****s

Boarded the plane and was delighted to find ourselves still on the tarmac nearly 1 hour after scheduled departure.

Reason for this is someone had to get off the plane for some reason. Basically 200people inconvenienced for an hour as they had to search for his bags under the plane.

What made it even more irritating was the inane jingle being played repeatedly as we awaited departure.

The last thing you need with a 13-14hour flight is an more time on the plane and even worse it was totally avoidable.
I was ready to sleep when I got on the plane but due to the inane music and the delayed departure my blood was boiling.

18-07-2014, 04:37 PM
For Militia
Proudly sponsored by Tooheys New FOR THE LOVE OF KALE

Well the plane took off just after 00:20am Thursday 17th July 2014 Chilean time 1 hour after scheduled departure. In the lead up to the World Cup heard nothing but horror stories about airlines in South America and punctuality.

By and large most have been pretty good. LAN though have ****ed up nearly everything I have had with them. One hour late departure in Sydney. Mad dash through the airport in Santiago to get to Montevideo. Cancelled my flight from Buenos Aires to Puerto Iguazu and left me to wait in the airport for nearly another 2 hours. Now this.

Today besides being a 13.5 hour flight to Auckland NZ a 3.5 hour flight to Sydney and a train ride home would be a little bizarre.

Firstly Thursday the 17th July will be a pretty short day for me as at no stage during the day will the clock advance past the first few hours as we are flying basically across a time zone each hour.

By the time we arrive in NZ it will actually be Friday 18th July

Secondly that basically until we get close to Sydney the entire travel period will be in the dark as we are just continually flying into the night somewhere

Anyway after the frustration of the delay subsided and I calmed down enough to relax it got to about 1am Chilean time and I was just about to nod off when I was whacked by the drinks cart bringing around meals.

Why in ****s name we needed to eat at this time is beyond me but basically being at the mercy of LAN for the next 14 hours grabbed the Ravioli and tucked in.

The other choice Salmon did appeal but picking the bones out of fish in a poorly lit air plane cabin at 1am and your tired didn’t seem like a fun thing to do.

Food eaten headed to the bath room to empty the tanks and not long after about 2am Chilean time the lights dimmed for sleep time. Grabbed about 5 hours over 2 naps and woke up with about 6hours of flight left

Watched a movie called the Monument Men where some blokes joined the military in WW2 to basically try and salvage as much art from being stolen and destroyed by Alemania and Adolf

Actually was a true story.

Followed it up with another true story called Rob the Mob about a young New York couple madly in love going bonnie and clyde and robbing Mafiosi social clubs in New York in the early 90s

At the time the notorious John Gotti was on trial so the mafia were a bit more reluctant to take care of them.

About 90 mins before landing in New Zealand breakfast was served and got the omelette

Not long later we were touching down in New Zealand and had about an hour to kill before re boarding. Grabbed a drink and had a chat to some Aussie football hoolies on their way home also and swapped stories.

Did log on to the net and the thing that did catch my eye was the story of a Malaysian Airlines plane crashing whilst we were in the air. Thought I would keep the news to myself so as not to cause panic but a bit of a sobering thought when you have just been on a plane and about to get on another.

Reboarded the plane and at 06:30 we were whizzing down the runway bound for Australia. Settled in by watching What Happens in Vegas until the thing packed it in about 20 mins before the end.

After this filled the time in watching World Cup highlights that I noticed the bloke in front was watching. Despite going to the World Cup I did actually miss seeing a number of games highlights etc.

Due to media access laws Aussie websites video was not able to be played and unless I actually watched the game on TV finding highlights were hard particularly if you were in a bar or drinking

Not too much later and the great land of Australia came into view. Pilot took us on the scenic route out to Campbelltown Canberra Wollongong before landing. Wasn't impressed

Another 20minute wait in the middle of the airport as we waited for somewhere to park. Maybe if LAN actually kept to their schedule this wouldn’t occur??? Just what you need after a long period of travel needless delays.

Anyway finally got off and put my feet back on Australia at 8:30am Friday 18th July.

Was greeted by some wanker telling me to take my jumper off as this was sharks territory. The look on my face could kill when I pointed out to the dumb **** that I wasn’t wearing a knight’s jumper but in fact a jets jumper.

Bloke then proceeded to welcome me home and told me I will need to get use to the Aussie sense of humour.

All I knew is the first Aussie I seen was a dumb **** who thinks any **** wearing a Jets jumper supports a game that is so small time the players molest dogs and passing in their own mouths to make the news.

Straight into the Duty Free and loaded up on Johnny Walker Double Black and a bottle of Wild Turkey I have to pony up for a favour someone done for me whilst away.

Have some new you beaut thing at the airport now where you self-scan your passport answer a couple of questions. I obviously answered well as it gave me a ticket that made me bypass the line quickly.

Head up put your ticket in the machine it takes a photo of you and then you walk out to the baggage claim section.

Here I was hit up by the Customs Official for my Re Entry into Australia form. Had a bit of a chat to her and answered her questions. Totally forgot about the timber products I had in my bag when answering that question!!!

Anyway she stamped my form I kept walking handed the re entry form and the ticket in to the next customs official. Then walked past lassie and co. No barking from the pooches and I walked out.

Where the **** was the media scrum or ticker tape parade FFS???

Seriously there was no **** there to interview me no groupie sluts or any **** holding a sign up with my name on it

Hit the ATM and got some red backs and jumped the train to Central. Getting to the airport from Central was fun with 2 bags but now doing it with 3 was a ****ing nightmare. Finally got there on the train and off at Central.

Grabbed a couple of drinks. **** me 7weeks without a Mother and my oh my was the taste good. Must be filled with crack or something.

Jumped the 10:15am train to Newsy and scored well as we were doing the minimum stops so get home quicker. Took up 4seats with all my gear but I am not moving the shit for no RBB or gypo scum.

Made it back to Newy at 12:45pm and jumped a taxi to the Kotara South abode. Plans for today include a shower a visit to a pie shop and staying up long enough to not fall asleep until it gets dark

All I can say is it was farking awesome. I will be starting to look into Russia 2018 in the next few weeks and may I suggest you blokes start saving and get your arse to the World Cup. I cannot express how great it actually is

18-07-2014, 04:59 PM
Superb thread MFKS. May as well give you the award now for best of the year.

Not sure how I feel about pumping tourist cash into a backwards Russia, but I'd be lying if I said your reports haven't got me thinking about it

18-07-2014, 11:11 PM
Glad your home safe MFKS. Catch up at the tenzo before the FFA cup game?

20-07-2014, 12:27 AM
Bravo MK.
Feel like i was there as well.
Some of your fam asked how you are going, i sent them a link, hope thats cool. hk

20-07-2014, 07:27 AM
Great read a contribution to to forum member. Sounds like enjoyed yourself. Well done!

20-07-2014, 08:30 AM
Some of your fam asked how you are going, i sent them a link, hope thats cool. hk

They can't wait to hear from about the Café Con Piernas from the member in person.

20-07-2014, 10:07 AM

20-07-2014, 10:10 AM

20-07-2014, 10:17 AM

20-07-2014, 10:20 AM

20-07-2014, 10:22 AM

20-07-2014, 10:45 AM

20-07-2014, 02:13 PM

Wow. The incline on the stadium looks so steep.

20-07-2014, 06:03 PM

20-07-2014, 06:06 PM

20-07-2014, 06:08 PM

Whose that?

20-07-2014, 06:09 PM

20-07-2014, 06:11 PM
Whose that?

Suarezs mate Evra

20-07-2014, 06:13 PM

One of these blokes I would happily have at the Jets and it ain't Torres

20-07-2014, 06:15 PM

Awesome shot

20-07-2014, 06:17 PM
What did you miss most about home, Member? An what would you like to see introduced here?

I know myself when in Dublin, for example, their traffic lights counted down to the signal change.. This was great

20-07-2014, 06:26 PM
What did you miss most about home, Member? An what would you like to see introduced here?

I know myself when in Dublin, for example, their traffic lights counted down to the signal change.. This was great

Actually they did the same in Chile Argentina and a fair few places in Brazil as well.

Cafe Con Piernas
$1 beers
Drinking Long necks on the street legally
Drinking Piss at outdoor cafes
$1.50 bottled water everywhere
They also had a drink called Guarana Antarctica. Was a fizzy drink only in Brazil. Magic shit

20-07-2014, 06:27 PM

20-07-2014, 06:29 PM

20-07-2014, 06:35 PM

20-07-2014, 06:37 PM

20-07-2014, 06:39 PM

20-07-2014, 06:48 PM

20-07-2014, 07:29 PM

Messi not happy he didn't get to meet The Member.

20-07-2014, 09:12 PM
Messi not happy he didn't get to meet The Member.
I actually should offer my services to the team's of the world

Seen this bloke play live 3 times and the bloke still hasn't scored

Probably got the shit's when the realisation dawned on him that he is always in the shadow of Diego and the Griff

20-07-2014, 11:02 PM
Great pics, but can you post the photos of the dangerous telephone wiring?

20-07-2014, 11:12 PM
Great pics, but can you post the photos of the dangerous telephone wiring?
http://i1374.photobucket.com/albums/ag425/MFKS78/10344794_10204336082501597_7049440535507577817_n_z psbc3b1c43.jpg

20-07-2014, 11:14 PM
Holy ****!

20-07-2014, 11:26 PM
Holy ****!

Whats even worse is at the house where the electricity enters it is usually like that but on a smaller scale and is easily accessible and live

21-07-2014, 12:01 AM
some low satellite dishes getting round there

21-07-2014, 12:09 AM
Good to have you back Member. Congrats on a great trip and cheers for the updates.

21-07-2014, 11:18 AM
Brazil's failures to enforce regulatory standards worries me.

21-07-2014, 03:46 PM
Brazil's failures to enforce regulatory standards worries me.
You do realise the favelas are technically illegal house plots.

ie the Locals have just set up home in undesirable hilly locations in such numbers the government is pretty much powerless to do anything due to the sheer amount of people they would have to rehouse??
I suppose they could go in and bulldoze the joint but what would it achieve when you would create a couple of hundred homeless poor people in a day.

The people living there have more than enough misfortune to deal with already

21-07-2014, 05:11 PM
But that pic is not in the favelas, is it? Looks nothing like the slums I've seen in Asia, and there sure as hell weren't any satellite dishes in the shitholes I'm familiar with.

21-07-2014, 06:59 PM
But that pic is not in the favelas, is it? Looks nothing like the slums I've seen in Asia, and there sure as hell weren't any satellite dishes in the shitholes I'm familiar with.

It was in the favela. Not quite in the heart and soul of it but still in the favela. That was on one of the widest streets around the exterior of it.

As for the satellite dishes. Not all who live there are poor. Some people who achieve some financial success in life still continue to live in the favela and just pimp their shack up with LCD's Satellites etc

21-07-2014, 07:05 PM

21-07-2014, 07:11 PM

21-07-2014, 07:17 PM

25-07-2014, 11:57 AM
The End

25-07-2014, 07:19 PM
Thank you Mfks for your very interesting and entertaining account of your adventures in South America, and you certainly did enhance my enjoyment of a great world cup.