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Thread: 2019 Zone Premier League thread

  1. #321
    Quote Originally Posted by Ruud Van Nistelrooys Chin View Post
    Jennifer Lawrence would have to be the best shag I’ve ever had. I just haven’t shagged her yet
    I wonder if he calls his left hand Jennifer?

  2. #322
    Quote Originally Posted by MisplacedPasses View Post
    I wonder if he calls his left hand Jennifer?
    *Right

  3. #323
    Round 3 Stats & Predictions
    Saturday
    Barnsley (10th) vs. Kotara (5th)

    - Barnsley have now lost 3 games in a row, only scoring two along the way.
    - Barnsley have conceded 13 goals in their opening four games.
    - Barnsley lost their last home game 4-1 to Cardiff
    - Kotara have won both of their away games this year.
    - Kotara’s C. Lattimore is the competitions join top goals scorer with 5 goals in four games.
    Kotara 3-0

    Swansea (2nd) vs. Mayfield (1st)
    - Swansea are the league’s top goal scorers with 16 in four games
    - Mayfield have the league’s best defence conceding only 1 in four games.
    - Swansea’s L. Williams has scored in every game this season.
    - Mayfield are the league’s only undefeated team.
    - Swansea lost their last home game 6-2 to Dudley.
    - Swansea’s four games have averaged out at 6 goals per game.
    Mayfield 4-2

    Suns (7th) vs. R. Terrace (9th)
    - Suns 1st grade won their clubs first game last week against Bero.
    - R. Terrace have now lost 3 games on the spin.
    - R. Terrace have scored only 1 goal in their last three games.
    - R. Terrace have the competitions worst attack, scoring 3 goals in four games.
    Suns 4-1

    Sunday
    W. Bay (6th) vs. Dudley (3rd)

    - Dudley have the league’s second best defence having only conceded 4 goals in four games.
    - Dudley have now won 3 games in a row.
    - The Bay’s M. McAteer has scored in every game this season.
    - W. Bay’s form has followed the format L-W-L-W.
    Draw 1-1

    Bero (4th) vs. Cardiff (8th)
    - Bero have the league worst defence, conceding 14 goals in their opening four games.
    - Bero’s four games have averaged out with 7 goals per game.
    - Bero have the league’s second best attack, scoring 14 goals in four games.
    - Cardiff have only scored 4 goals in their opening four games. Second worst in the league.
    - Cardiff have only registered two different goals scorers so far this season.
    - Cardiff won their last away game 4-1 against Barnsley.
    Bero 3-1

  4. #324
    My favourite time of the week!



    Barnsley vs. Kotara
    Kotara have this, they will whip the ball over the top and long. old mate runs onto it... barnsley lose by 3 or 4 and sit in the sheds talking about how kotara isnt really that good and didnt deserve to win. 0-3

    Swansea vs. Mayfield
    Best game of the round. Potentially worth checking out. Defense wins leagues, Strikers win games, it could be one of those games... but it wont be. Mayfield 2-0.

    Suns vs. Raymond Terrace
    As everyone knows and understands, Raymond Terrace have had the hardest and most unfortunate draw to start the season, a grueling test of human enduance and resiliance it has been described as. If they only didnt have to play teams in the same league as them they would be doing fine. Dont bother going to watch this game, if Raymond Terrace could call in a forfiet they would so they didnt have to face another day of picking the ball out of the back of their net. Suns by more than 3.
    suns 3+

    Warners Bay vs. Dudley
    Warners Bay got the win last weekend... so going on their crappy mixed bag of form and their ability to conisistantly flip flop results, Dudley 1-2.
    If Warners Bay sort their form out and turn up it could be a decent game to watch.

    Bero vs. Cardiff
    Cardiff started poor but have managed to bail enough water off the sinking ship to keep it afloat. Plenty of goals as per the norm at the childs size pitch out at bero, except you wouldnt let your kids play there.
    Cardiff 3-2.

  5. #325
    Senior Member leftrightout's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by HonkingDonkey View Post
    Barnsley vs. Kotara
    Kotara have this, they will whip the ball over the top and long. old mate runs onto it... barnsley lose by 3 or 4 and sit in the sheds talking about how kotara isnt really that good and didnt deserve to win. 0-3
    This prediction is too good.
    Funny but realistic and highly likely!
    WE DON'T DO WALKING AWAY !

  6. #326
    Drainage FC 1:3 Kick it long FC
    Self-explanatory this one, Barnsley are a team who obviously don't believe in defending. I've heard the Whippet has given up on being vegan and is going out for a nice steak dinner Friday night so he'll have a little extra spring in his step.

    Poor club culture 2:0 Has beens
    Now that Swansea have finally got rid of the dead wood (took 20 years didn't it?), it seems they might actually be half decent.... until all those old blokes they've signed break down anyways. I can't wait to read how bad this bunch of geriatrics are come Monday!

    Whinging NPL stars 4:0 Excuses FC
    Terrace have taken the title of 'Excuses FC' from Cardiff, at least Cardiff have accepted they're ordinary. At home in front of Ruben all those NPL stars will be wanting to perform to try revive their dead football careers.

    WPL Hopefuls 2:1 We belong in the A-League FC
    Tipping the Bay as they're coming of a confidence boosting mid-week win. Is this the week they step out of the shadows of the women’s WPL team? while Dudley need to turn things around after the lacklustre performance vs New Lambton. The Bay might need to pack an extra set of shin pads, Dudley don't take losing very well.

    Entertainment FC 3:3 Southy rejects FC
    Bero's witches hat like defence will let them down. I'm sure the coach is chomping at the bit to sub himself on. Going out on a limb saying Cardiff will actually score goals but MAYBE (I made this up) someone else has had a whinge at Southy and come over?!?!

  7. #327
    Barnsley vs. Kotara

    Honestly can't see Barnsley winning this, although they put up a great fight against Dudley last weekend. I would like to say 3-1 Kotara, the "young whippet" up front to get all 3. At least 1 red card.


    Swansea vs. Mayfield

    PlasticFan's Game of the week. Top 2 battle, best scoring record versus the best defence. Mayfields structure will have them win this, I've even heard they are buying balloons to spell out the words "Clean Sheet". 3-0 Mayfield.


    Suns vs. Raymond Terrace

    Raymond Terrace are horrible at the moment, and everyone's second favourite team are coming into a bit of form. Easily will be Suns by 4. 6-2 Suns.



    Warners Bay vs. Dudley

    Dudley will steal this win, just like they've been stealing cartons from their sponsor pub. Its going to be the closest game of the round with only a goal in it at the end. I'm expecting a goal fest, can't wait to watch. 4-3 Dudley.


    Bero vs. Cardiff

    Both teams to score, both teams to not defend. Keepers to have a shocker. 3-3 draw.
    Last edited by PlasticFan; 09-05-2019 at 12:52 PM.

  8. #328
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    for all those hoping for a good game from mayfield this weekend what are you on about? have they have an entertaining game in the last two seasons?
    All they do is win convincingly by 3 or 4 goals against the no hopers, or shut down games for 0-0 draws against the good teams. its mourinho football, and it wins championships, even if id rather cut my eyes out than go to a game

  9. #329
    Quote Originally Posted by TheBean
    ...even if id rather cut my eyes out than go to a game

    On this doll, can you show me where Mayfield hurt/touched you?

  10. #330
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    Quote Originally Posted by HonkingDonkey View Post
    On this doll, can you show me where Mayfield hurt/touched you?
    my eyes...from watching their games. not as bad as barnsley did from looking at their heads though

  11. #331
    Senior Member
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    This forum would be so much more entertaining if it was held in a pub with beers and no hidden indentities.
    Quote Originally Posted by MisplacedPasses View Post
    That would make for a great session. A pub not located in Cardiff, Mayfield or Barnsley preferably, I'd like to walk out without getting stabbed for telling some local their team is shit.
    Youd deserve it. Someone organise.

  12. #332
    Quote Originally Posted by traffic light View Post
    Youd deserve it. Someone organise.
    Ahhh someones abit salty

  13. #333
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    Long time observer, first time poster.

    After coming up against Raymond Terrace this year, I certainly believe that they are top 4 contenders. They play a very possession based game, which is quite beautiful to watch. Their fullbacks aren't afraid to carry the ball into the final third, and create opportunities. I even heard one of our players say "they are the harlem globe trotters of football".

    As stated earlier, they have by far the toughest initiation into ZPL in quite some years. In the first 9 weeks they have to verse:
    1. Cardiff
    2. Dudley
    3. Kotara
    4. Mayfield
    5. Suns
    6. Swansea
    7. Barnsley
    8. Warners bay
    9. bero

    my prediction would have them contending for the top 4, however, they will need to fulfill their potential sooner rather than later if they are to achieve this. Saturday is a big day for them!!!!

  14. #334
    Quote Originally Posted by Chase_Me View Post
    Long time observer, first time poster.

    After coming up against Raymond Terrace this year, I certainly believe that they are top 4 contenders. They play a very possession based game, which is quite beautiful to watch. Their fullbacks aren't afraid to carry the ball into the final third, and create opportunities. I even heard one of our players say "they are the harlem globe trotters of football".

    As stated earlier, they have by far the toughest initiation into ZPL in quite some years. In the first 9 weeks they have to verse:
    1. Cardiff
    2. Dudley
    3. Kotara
    4. Mayfield
    5. Suns
    6. Swansea
    7. Barnsley
    8. Warners bay
    9. bero

    my prediction would have them contending for the top 4, however, they will need to fulfill their potential sooner rather than later if they are to achieve this. Saturday is a big day for them!!!!
    I know you’re trying to take the Micky out of Raymond Terrace, but they have some legitimate excuses for their poor start to the season.

  15. #335
    Quote Originally Posted by KennysWhiteHat. View Post
    I know you’re trying to take the Micky out of Raymond Terrace, but they have some legitimate excuses for their poor start to the season.
    Would love to hear what they are?

  16. #336
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    Quote Originally Posted by MisplacedPasses View Post
    Would love to hear what they are?
    Misplaced passes, if we look at the mayfield game. If terrace had of finished the 3 chances they had and mayfield had of missed 2 more chances terrace would have walked away with a point against the immortal team of last year.

    I think any team would be happy to take a point away from the long ball champions.

  17. #337
    Quote Originally Posted by MisplacedPasses View Post
    Would love to hear what they are?
    We’ve had endless injuries and other serious complications including players missing due to not registering properly and attending funerals.

    I strongly believe that a full strength Raymond Terrace will be a force to be reckoned with.

  18. #338
    Quote Originally Posted by KennysWhiteHat. View Post
    We’ve had endless injuries and other serious complications including players missing due to not registering properly and attending funerals.

    I strongly believe that a full strength Raymond Terrace will be a force to be reckoned with.
    Let me guess someone is out this week because they crashed their car into McDonald's?
    Last edited by MisplacedPasses; 10-05-2019 at 08:22 PM. Reason: Emoji

  19. #339
    Quote Originally Posted by MisplacedPasses View Post
    Let me guess someone is out this week because they crashed their car into McDonald's?
    Well we have to go through Heatherbrae so there’s actually a high risk of crashing into a fast food outlet before you start that shit mate.
    If one of our players have any sort of accident I’m holding you personally responsible. Disgusting behaviour.

  20. #340
    Quote Originally Posted by MisplacedPasses View Post
    Let me guess someone is out this week because they crashed their car into McDonald's?
    Call me a wanker. Pull your ****ing head in.

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