Griffology

[sanchez]

makes you cry doesn't it...beautiful

[WolfMan]

anyone got the griffo lords prayer?
something about "our griff who art in number 9"...

That was on V1 of the forums I think. Shame it got lost

[sanchez]

who composed it?

It's probably time for the New Testament anyway...

[militiamon]

Sorry for the late reply, I have experimented furiously over the last 24 hours with an assortment of lubricants (all to the image of Griff's grand final winning goal). Please see my findings;

The preference of noodle grease really depends on the stroke rate and the emotion of the pull. As we all know they vary from the furious tug, which I personally label "the vengeful Griff" to the more majestic, somewhat graceful "Griffantasy". Both enjoyable in their own element.

For the vengeful Griff, I would highly suggest something industrial and robust - http://www.mobilindustrial.com/ind/english/ ... anything less I find does not stand up to the tests of the Griff factor. Too much friction and you'll lose some bark at the very least, possibly your whole stalk may fly off across the room landing squarely on your favourite Griff poster.

The Griffantasy is an easy one. Gypsy tears - sourced from directly from Gosford if possible. While using this for any non-Griff related self-gratification would otherwise instantly lead to HIV infection, luckily the Griff factor which occupies your thoughts in the process acts as an impenatrable antibody that not only protects you from disease, but acts as a penis growth hormone and somewhat strengthens your bell-end with Griff-like capabilities. As an added touch the saltiness of these tears add an unmatchable tingling sensation in and around your Jap's eye.

Happy yankin'.

6,000,000 of 6,000,000 people found this review helpful.

[WolfMan]

I didn't wanna lay false claim, but I think I was led to this passage in a Griff-induced vision.

That being said, my memory is woeful at the best of times, especially for such an out-of-body experience such as this 6 (?) years ago...

[WolfMan]

Version 2?



Our striker, who art in number 29
Griffo be thy name.
Thy goals will come, thy will be done
On pitch as it is in training.
Give us this day our daily Griff,
and lead us not into Bluetongue
As we forgive those who deny your Grand Final efforts.
Now and at the hour of your substitution.

Amen.

[snake]

i do not forgive those who deny His grand final efforts

[hawk]

Version 2?



Our striker, who art in number 29
Griffo be thy name.
Thy goals will come, thy win be done
On pitch as it is in training.
Give us this day our daily Griff,
and lead us not into Bluetongue
As we forgive those who deny your Grand Final efforts.
Now and at the hour of your substitution.

JGriff.

I feel better now.

[belchardo]

what has adam ever done for us?

[joel31]

what has adam ever done for us?

He scored against the scum

[hawk]

what has adam ever done for us?

we'd better scrap that.

[WolfMan]

I just realised that the above Griff's Prayer is a bastardised amalgamation of 2 separate "traditional" prayers. I'll post 2x amended versions post-work.

My Catholicism, she's a bit scratchy haha

[WolfMan]

OK, rehashed it to reflect the "original" more correctly

Our striker who art in number 29,
Griffo be thy name.
Thy goals will come.
Thy will be done, on pitch as it is in training.
Give us this day our daily Griff.
And forgive us our ignorance,
as we forgive those who deny your Grand Final efforts.
And lead us not into Bluetongue,
but deliver us from Finals.
For thine is the City, and the Emerald,
and the Green, for ever and ever.

Amen.


And a new addition,

Mother Griffiths, full of grace,
The Griff is with thee;
blessed art thou among women,
and blessed is the fruit of thy womb, Joel.
Holy Griffiths, mother of Griff,
pray for us supporters,
now and at the end of the season.

Amen.

[hawk]

OK, rehashed it to reflect the "original" more correctly

Our striker who art in number 29,
Griffo be thy name.
Thy goals will come.
Thy will be done, on pitch as it is in training.
Give us this day our daily Griff.
And forgive us our ignorance,
as we forgive those who deny your Grand Final efforts.
And lead us not into Bluetongue,
but deliver us to Finals.
For thine is the City, and power of Emerald and Cinnamon
for ever and ever.

Amen.

tweaked the last 2

[WolfMan]

Yeh nice one Hawk. Reads better with those changes

[Hunter403]

Shouldn't it be deliver us to finals rather than deliver us from finals?

[belchardo]

And isn't emerald and green the same colour????

[WolfMan]

Correct, massive oversight. Emerald and Cinnamon.

I guess "To finals" makes more sense as well

[hawk]

done. too much thught not enough checking, lol.

[sanchez]

He scored against the scum

and you call yourself Joel?

You do know Griff has scored all our goals against the Gypos and our only grand final winning goal...well you should know anyway.