Originally Posted by
plague
Whilst sitting atop the umpires chair at Adamstown tennis courts yesterday, bored with the ever increasing incidents of sexual assault inflicted on me by bored middle aged housewives, I turned my attention to the football goings on next door. So without further ado, lets hand out some awards for the mums, dads, bored siblings and attention seeking clubmates who didnt make it to the final day.
Supporters of the year awards.
Best referees: Edgeworth 13s. An amazing display of knowing every rule inside and out as written in stone by the forefathers of the game. In an amazing turn of events it turned out every foul on one of their players was a justified and correct decision, but anything awarded against them was in fact completely wrong and an affront to officialdom everywhere. To be the only team to go through the day without committing a real foul is a testament to the team and leaves no one in doubt as to why they were clearly the best team in the grade for the year.
Most respectful: Jaffas 14s. The care taken by parents watching the game knowing that the person to their rights kid got cut was wonderful to see. Although half of them were asleep anyway after 3 mins with the result being in the bag.
Worst haircuts: Maitland. Seriously, do we have that bad a labour shortage in the country that there are people wielding scissors up that way who have never taken a lesson? Ive seen shearers take more care with the end result of a job.
Best signs: Maitland. "Go Maitland". Simple yet effective. Because Maitland did, in fact, go. Well done on the 2 titles.
Worst fans: North Coast, and its not even close. Some highlights: complaining about the sun being in their eyes (but refusing to walk to the other side of the ground where there was no issue), to complaining about every call, to threatening the safety of some Maitland fans (good luck with that one Superdad), to not knowing how penalty shootouts work there was so much ignorance on show it was amazing. To think that these people are in charge of protecting one of Australia's most important assets (Bonville golf club) frightens me no end.
But the highlight of the day was this idiot lady cheering and commenting on a kid for a good 15 mins, calling him out and encouraging his efforts, only to be told by another parent later that the kid she was cheering on wasnt in fact the correct kid, but was in fact a Maitland player and her lad was wearing a different coloured shirt altogether. We dont need prison reform in this country, we need anyone caught breaking the law to ride the bus both ways to and from Coffs with these parents every 2nd week until they are scared straight.
Most shocked fans: Joint winner!!!! Olympic and Edgeworth 16s. Because who the hell saw that performance coming.
Best fans: Easy, Kev Davidsons rocket gave the people what they wanted. Maso's went off. Proper football moment.
Enjoy your football, no doubt some clubs already have the 12 year olds back in the gym. Excellence never sleeps, but I do. Leave me alone.
Cheers,
plague.
