Joel Griffiths Returns - the best thing ever, ever, ever and ever

[plague]

I wondered what you did for a job.

What's this 'job' concept you speak of?
Not familiar with that word.
Is that related to 'work'?

[Blackmac79]

What was he tweeting prior to deleting?

[Buddha]

The Newcastle Screwjob, Tinks Screwed Griff. So when's the grudge match?

[MFKS]

So has one of you wise blokes invited the great man to join us tomorrow night??

[Hunter403]

So has one of you wise blokes invited the great man to join us tomorrow night??

That would be gold!! Joel joining the crowd just like Ljubo did. Brilliant!

[MFKS]

That would be gold!! Joel joining the crowd just like Ljubo did. Brilliant!

Protest in his honour it would be a ****ing disgrace if he wasn't there. Hell invite him to the Tenzo.

I will buy him beers

[boz-monaut]

I found an old blog entry of mine from back when I had that blog on 442

__________________________________________________ __________
Joel Griffiths – the Greatest Living Novocastrian

What more proof is needed than the recent game against the ironically named Melbourne Victory that Joel Griffiths is the most awesome player in the A-league?

This town’s favourite adopted son showed beyond all doubt why he is universally loved by all true fans of the Newcastle Jets on Friday night in the intimidating atmosphere of the Telstra Dome. The impact he had on the play, the work rate, the advice given to others – he truly is the form player at the moment, without argument the most dangerous player in the competition. Like him or loath him, you can’t ignore him.

But where does all this talent and effort come from? Born into a strong footballing family in the Shire (an area of Sydney famous for producing the most despicable bogans in the world, which is ironic considering their nickname for us), Joel played for various clubs around Sydney before moving to his adopted home of Newcastle for a stint in the NSL. After a few years spent in rain sodden England he realised the Yorkshire lifestyle has nothing on living across the road from the beach and moved back here.

Newcastle men want to be him, women want to be with him - but this Novocastrian Griffo love isn’t some unrequited relationship. During last season break when suitors from European clubs were sniffing around, the Griff wasn’t interested. Famously quoted regarding one offer as saying “it’s in the middle of Belgium, it’s not Newy”

The recent Pantelidis incident in which Griffiths was undeniably elbowed in the head exposes a few issues. How opposition fans can say Griff should have been sent off is beyond me. Panties got riled up cause he couldn’t handle him, he was beaten, he’d been schooled at Griffiths University in a scramble for the ball and reacted with a vicious elbow, a blow that could have damaged Griffo’s impending modelling career. That would have been an injustice not just on that one game but on the entire appeal of the sport in this country. The ladies (and some men) aren’t going to turn up to watch a team of ugly mugs who all look like Kevin Muscat.

But he’s not just a pretty boy, some vacuous fool with nothing going on between the ears. Not by a long shot. Our Joel is an avid chess player, the thinking man’s intellectual pursuit. Quoted recently in a reputable newspaper "If I'd known about chess when I was a kid, I would have been the nerd at school," he was quoted as saying. "Luckily, I only discovered it about five years ago. I find it relaxing. It makes me think, which, for me, is a good thing."

A lot of opposition fans dislike our Joel. Hard to believe but true. It seems Griffo is a little too real for them, they can’t handle his in your face attitude combined with his immense work rate, silky skills and undeniable animal magnetism. The man himself has suggested it could be his appearance that attracts that sort of attention. But compare and contrast with other hated figures in the competition. He’s not a violent thug like Muscat or Tiatto. He’s not so much of a prat that his own team mates give him a slap like Hearfield. The reason he’s hated so much is cause he’s got the attitude but he’s got the talent to back it up.

And who wouldn’t like to give the odd linesman a punch in the cods?

[boz-monaut]

and an old pintculture article (not mine) from back in the old days

__________________________________________________ ____
Even casual readers of Pintculture will be aware of the editorial directives regarding Joel Griffiths. Similar to John Laws uttering “Qantas” and “Telstra” every five words, each paragraph posted on Pintculture must mention Joel Griffiths at least once overtly, and contain at least three anagrams of Joel Griffiths (e.g. “ghost Jif filer” ; “frig his jot elf”).

Now, urban legend would have it that this reporting bias was borne deep in the bowels of Pintculture HQ, where Joel wooed the boardroom fat-cats with cigars packed and rolled by Castro himself, beers at least two and a half times better than VB (!), and his superior knowledge of the Force which, while we’re on the subject, is what allows him to grow that rather excellently evil moustache of his.

Clearly, this is pure fantasy - the seduction of Pintculture was far more subtle, understated; an “undressing you with his eyes” type process. With each awkward-looking run at goal, each dramatic rotation on the ground, each tirade at Matthew Breeze, the Pintculture infatuation with JG intensified.

At first, the feelings were strange, yet titillating, but racked with doubt (e.g. “what are we doing…this guy is a complete douche….or, is he everything we’ve ever wanted?”).

Back then, liking Joel Griffiths was akin to enjoying Deal or No Deal; wanting to yell “Booyah!” at the TV with all your heart for every briefcase opening and/or scything run, but knowing that you’d feel dirty almost instantly after. Soon, the guilt began to fade, and engaging in Griffophilia was commonplace at workstations across Pintculture HQ.

Chief Griffophile, Vic Colfari, while high on a particularly paint-thinner-heavy batch of Griff-stal meth, caused a storm during the latest round of Australian Idol auditions with his power ballad “Joel Fills My Soul”, only to be edited out in production after he commented innocently to Marcia Hines, “what do you reckon about that Denni bloke? ****ing shit, ey?”.

What’s my sodding point you ask?

[Thomas477]

Griff

[baldrick]

You guys did see Griffo at the game on Friday night ?

[Jeterpool]

You guys did see Griffo at the game on Friday night ?

Yep. There with disco

[MFKS]

Yep. There with disco

I thought he spent the game in his missus box???

[BodyNovo]

I thought he spent the game in his missus box???

Disco was in the box with them wasn't he?

[Jeterpool]

Disco was in the box with them wasn't he?

Yep. Beside griff and Brollo

[joel31]

whos disco?

[MFKS]

Griff is a ****ing hero.

Refuses to sell out on his so called mates who have shafted him with their lack of support since he got the arse

That's ****ing loyalty right there.

Shame other ****s choose not to show him the same levels of loyalty

[Jeterpool]

whos disco?

Stu Musialik

[sammydog]

I thought he spent the game in his missus box???

Didn't see his missus, unless she looks like disco.

When we scored, I noticed no reaction from him. Didn't spill a drop of his beer.

[The Camel]

I thought he spent the game in his missus box???

There's a joke in there somewhere

[Jeterpool]

There's a joke in there somewhere

I thought it was too obvious myself.