Gender reveals - aka Assholes clubhouse

[plague]

ok, so people who have parties and shit like that to announce the sex of their forthcoming kid are lifes biggest assholes.
this is a scientific fact so dont dispute it.
This thread is to out all these assholes and warn society that no one gives a shit if your kid is pink or blue.
If you have any good ones please post.


Here is one that is both awesome, and stupid.
I hope its real, but its prob fake.

https://twitter.com/i/status/1194278229772775431

oh, this one may be slightly NSFW so just be careful.

[Frodo]

Did you see the one where a family member tried to make a small homemade smoke bomb.. turns out he made a pipe bomb and killed someone during be reveal.

[plague]

Did you see the one where a family member tried to make a small homemade smoke bomb.. turns out he made a pipe bomb and killed someone during be reveal.

this is funny but video of this would be funnier.

[plague]

look at these assholes.



all that effort went into looking so ****ing lame.

get a job you assholes.

[plague]

i want to adopt this little kid because he is the only hope the future has.

ive no doubt that Greta Thornberg chick has a gender reveal ceremony.

All hail the youth of the future.

[Jeterpool]

I saw one where the helium balloon with the reveal in it flew off and left the couple standing there still not knowing. Ha!

[pv4]

Mrs v4 watches this shit way too often. Good ones, fake ones, fail ones, everything. I doubt there is one she hasn't seen, and I doubt there is a "good" one she hasn't tried to show me yet.

The only thing I dislike more than gender reveals, is the people in them that have not put even a small amount of forethought into their reaction if it isn't the gender they're hoping for whilst knowing this is documented online (read: guys if it is pink instead of blue, for the most part). We know a couple that had a girl previously, did a gender reveal for upcoming number 2, and the moment a fxxxtonne of pink balloons came flying out of a box he looked genuinely upset and disappointed. His future daughter is more than likely going to see that shit one day, fxxxing arsehole. I said I dislike when this happens but I actually thrive for it, no one deserves to feel let down by a gender more than those people. You see the fail videos with the kids hugely disturbed that they didn't get a brother, or a sister, but you laugh at that because the kids don't have empathy yet and it is cute. But when you see fathers-to-be looking genuinely distressed at the sight of pink, that lack of empathy is just them being sub-human and I have this level of hope their future daughter holds it against them. Don't breed, and stick to two-up, if you're that set on throwing all your emotions behind coin-flips.

I also know of one person that had a big gender reveal party, and multi-colour balloons popped out and the couple yelled out "you're all going to have to wait to find out!" and it genuinely split their family apart, so many people were hugely offended that it wasn't revealed particularly on purpose ops:

[plague]

I also know of one person that had a big gender reveal party, and multi-colour balloons popped out and the couple yelled out "you're all going to have to wait to find out!" and it genuinely split their family apart, so many people were hugely offended that it wasn't revealed particularly on purpose ops:

its the most pretentious, egotistical shit parents can do.

The authorities are better off arresting these assholes on site at these reveal parties because the kid doesnt have a chance. Either give mum a late term abortion or better still adopt the kid out to a family of decent people.

i am very proud of the fat that ive never been, let alone ever been invited to one of these shitshows.

this is because:

1. Plague would not associate himself with any of these assholes in any way shape or form.
2. Even if some slipped through the cracks and decided to have one of these parties, they would know better than to invite Plague as he would spend the entire time heckling every single moment of these ****ers miserable event.

**** these people

[plague]

Video has been released showing how an off-duty Border Patrol agent celebrating his wife’s pregnancy last year accidentally started a 47,000-acre wildfire that took nearly 800 firefighters to extinguish.

Dennis Dickey, 37, of Tucson, Arizona, pleaded guilty last month to igniting the fire, which caused more than $US8.2 million ($A11.3 million) worth of damage in April 2017 when he shot a target containing Tannerite, a legal but highly explosive substance designed to detonate when shot by a high-velocity firearm.
The target was part of Dickey’s pre-planned celebration to announce the gender of the couple’s child and the target contained blue powder for a boy.

The footage shows the flames quickly spreading before a man can be heard yelling: “Start packing up, start packing up”.

As part of Dickey’s plea agreement, he will pay $US100,000 ($A138,000) in restitution upon sentencing on October 9. He’ll also pay monthly $US500 ($A690) instalments for the next two decades and be sentenced to five years of probation.

“It was a complete accident,” Dickey told a judge on Friday. “I feel absolutely horrible about it. It was probably one of the worst days of my life.”

No injuries were reported in the fire but several residents were evacuated from their homes as a precaution.

Dickey, who is expected to keep his job as a Border Patrol agent, will borrow from his retirement fund to pay the restitution.

bhahahahahahahahaah look at this asshole.

and surprise surprise, his missus has a face tattoo.
this is Bogan Christmas. enjoy financial ruin asshole, your little stunt just cost little Johnny his college education.
hahahahahahahaahhahahahahahahah.

[plague]

also, along the same lines, but prob doesnt need its own thread:

no one cares when your kid turns 5 months, or 9 months or 6 weeks old.
maybe, just maybe they will give a shit when it turns 1. thats a milestone. but this bullshit about posting gushing photos and "ZOMG I CANT BELIEVE YOURE 8 MONTHS OLD LITTLE LULUBELLE".

oh **** off with all of that shit.

[MFKS]

There is only 2 Genders

Exactly what is the problem??

It is either A or B

[plague]

There is only 2 Genders

Exactly what is the problem??

It is either A or B

This thread is for making fun of assholes, not for 'being' an asshole.

Now show me videos of assholes and their stupid parties or take your shit elsewhere.

[pv4]

also, along the same lines, but prob doesnt need its own thread:

no one cares when your kid turns 5 months, or 9 months or 6 weeks old.
maybe, just maybe they will give a shit when it turns 1. thats a milestone. but this bullshit about posting gushing photos and "ZOMG I CANT BELIEVE YOURE 8 MONTHS OLD LITTLE LULUBELLE".

oh **** off with all of that shit.

I have worked hard on this and the acceptable age scale is:
X days (from 1 to 6 days)
X weeks (from 1 to 3 weeks)
X months (from 1 to 11 months)
1 year old
Just over 1
18 months
Nearly 2
X years old (2 years old onwards)
X turning Y years old can also be acceptable for the later part of that year.

If you give me shit outside of that like 15 months I will not talk to you about your kid again.

[plague]

I have worked hard on this and the acceptable age scale is:
X days (from 1 to 6 days)
X weeks (from 1 to 3 weeks)
X months (from 1 to 11 months)
1 year old
Just over 1
18 months
Nearly 2
X years old (2 years old onwards)
X turning Y years old can also be acceptable for the later part of that year.

If you give me shit outside of that like 15 months I will not talk to you about your kid again.

no, this is too many. although i appreciate your effort.
here is the proper list, and its not up for debate or question.
and to be clear, these are 'milestone' social media posts. if you just want to post photos of your asshole kid then fine. but unless it cures cancer of says "Griff" then piss your half asses celebrations off.

again, here is the list:
*Newborn. although clean that kid up first. especially these c-section ones. i dont want to see your kids, or your missus' blood and guts. this is unacceptable.
*1st Birthday. although just post any photo of the kid at any time of its life i wont know the difference. also, your kid cant read the cards or open the presents so dont pretend. its stupid.
*1st day of school. but spare me how your kid already knows its times tables and can read Harry Potter. it cant, so shut up.
*Uni graduation/1st major qualifications. dont post shit like "oh my god little Lulubelle getting her 3rd Masters degree seemed like yesterday" #uptonumber6 #hecs #still no****ingjob
*marriage. fine, but just one, and just the bride and groom (or whatever combo). no stupid poses, no fancy dressups, no pets.


thats the list. i can barely pretend to care for these. i wont comment on any of them.

[boz-monaut]

There is only 2 Genders

Exactly what is the problem??

It is either A or B

that's rich coming from someone who holidays as a sex pest in Thailand

[Frodo]

Can I also add "joint baby showers" where the father not only attends the baby shower but also invites other male friends to attend?

[plague]

Can I also add "joint baby showers" where the father not only attends the baby shower but also invites other male friends to attend?

whats ****ing abomination to mankind is this shit?
youre gonna need to explain this please Mr Frodo.


also, the last 2 'wet the babies heads' i went to involved afternoon beers that finished before sundown and some people brought their wives and girlfriends.

the level disgust was very very high from your boy Plague.

[Frodo]

whats ****ing abomination to mankind is this shit?
youre gonna need to explain this please Mr Frodo.


also, the last 2 'wet the babies heads' i went to involved afternoon beers that finished before sundown and some people brought their wives and girlfriends.

the level disgust was very very high from your boy Plague.

Abomination is a great word to describe them. Basically it's exactly the same shit as a baby shower... But the mother drags the husband to attend, and the other women there do the same with their partners.

Basically the "wet the baby's head" is skipped in favour of whatever the **** happens at a baby shower.

I've been invited to 2 that I can remember and didn't go to either. I also didn't speak to the bloke in question for a good month to get over it.

I can't tell if the father feels left out of all the baby shower fun or if the mothers are just controlling arse hats. But either way it's scary for the future of our species to be going down these paths.

[plague]

Abomination is a great word to describe them. Basically it's exactly the same shit as a baby shower... But the mother drags the husband to attend, and the other women there do the same with their partners.

Basically the "wet the baby's head" is skipped in favour of whatever the **** happens at a baby shower.

I've been invited to 2 that I can remember and didn't go to either. I also didn't speak to the bloke in question for a good month to get over it.

I can't tell if the father feels left out of all the baby shower fun or if the mothers are just controlling arse hats. But either way it's scary for the future of our species to be going down these paths.

this is the scariest shit ive ever heard.
glad you held your ground.
hope Parksey survived his month without speaking to you.

[Frodo]

I've also got one more that I shudder to even talk about.

It's called a "Huck's party". It's when an idiot bloke decides to settle down in marriage but instead of finding a loving life partner he has chosen one that clearly doesn't trust him.

So instead of allowing the men to enjoy themselves on a night of fun and frivolities the women also attend/chaperone the men and ruin the entire ****ing thing.